Dropped the rope finally

[LisaB]

Oh T0, nice to hear that there is potential improvement in your story! You have been through a lot. We are all sending you good thoughts! Keep us posted.
Hugs, Lisa

[JCred]

I say this because your H has made a decision he wants you back. He likely has expectations. If at least some of those are not met, what is to say he will not second guess his decision?

This isn't only his decision. She has a voice in this too.
From what I see his decision making hasn't been very reliable.
Her decisions have been very well thought out.

Fantastic job T.. You have a good head on your shoulders. I can see why he wants to come back. Right now is when you have the leverage I told you about a few pages back.

Be wise....

Masterful job so far.

[T384]

No he definitely knows we need to take it slow. I told him I'm not making any promises at all on anything and my guard is up. He told me he deserves for me to never talk to him again after everything he's done

I am at work. Didn't call in. Don't want to push it or come off as this is fixed. We are not together. I will post a detailed post when I get off work.

He has the boys today and has already sent me a good morning text and that last night was the happiest he's went to bed in awhile.


All I have to say to those of you out there keep fighting the good fight. I know this isn't over by any means and this doesn't mean we are R. But there is hope. I was in a deep dark place and never thought my H would see the light of day. I would be lost without all of you and will never forget that here

[woundedfool]

Glad to hear this has taken this turn.

I think now is the time to solicit "professional" help (sbt counselors/therapists, DB coaches, clergy, etc.)

I don't think it unreasonable that he shoulder the bulk of the financial responsibility (though you should "help).

I would also talk to your L about what to do.... I do think it would be prudent to continue with some of the support steps (hey, you can always hand the check back to him). But remember, while I still think you should listen to your L.... take it with a grain of salt, as she does have a vested interest in you getting divorced).

You maybe even want to ask her about her experience with others in your situation.... should you have a separation agreement (something to keep you from being obligated from contracts he made while separation was ongoing), etc.

Also, I know you said you started your homework, but I have a new assignment... I want you to re-read DR and DB in its entirety. You now will be reading it from a new perspective.

And much like was commented above, I think the fishing comment was good. He has what feels like a TON of enthusiasm, and while I don't think dampening it is right, I also worry it has the potential to smother you.... so be mindful of that.

[Train]

You're getting great advice here, T0.

Thinking of you.