So, a year has gone by since BD. I've deal with pain that felt worse then death. I've lived with a H I know longer recognize, that the kids have grown to loathe and I myself have grown so angry at I can't even see straight some days. Yet, here I am...still here. Still living in the same house, still sharing the same address, still wondering what he is doing every night. I want to move on but he seems to make it impossible to do that. He won't leave and I have no money to leave myself. I am totally broke due to him running around spending money like water during his MLC when he had no job. Now what?? I'm stronger, more sure that this isn't working but yet, as soon as he says he is going to go I feel the same ache in my stomache I had before. There are so many days I feel like he is coming back to me but then something changes, he goes out all night or stays out for days at a time and I realiez he is still the same and still lost. Everyone tells me to kick him out. Everyone askes me why I am still here. I can't answer them. I guess I am just not sure what to do most of the time. Is there anyone out there that can reassure me that staying is worth it? Do they really come back to you? Do they wake up and say, hey, I miss my family and I want my life back. Or will we always be doing this dance? That is what I struggle with today, a year later.
me-42 H-41 S-12 S-8 M-15 yr f/o bout OW- 11-29-12 H moved out 10-31-13 Filed for divorce 12-27-13 D- 10-21-14
Hi tiredndrained... have you read reachingHigher's story? Its a great READ... I encourage you to read it!
Good luck,
Magic!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Don't worry about what everyone else is telling you to do.
If/when you decide that you're done, that's when you'll ask him to leave.
The last thing you want to do is follow everyone else's advice and look back and realize you wanted something else.
uRworthy just made a great post about this in this forum a few hours ago, so you might want to check it out.
I'm struggling with the same issues and I've been divorced for a month now, so I wish I could give you some more hope or better advice.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
