Just got off the phone w/ STBXH. Expressed my feelings to him about anger, resentment, wanting to save our marriage. Sorrow for our marriage failing. Told him that I just needed to tell him this and that I don't think I can be friends with him anymore.
Wow. I feel like I just got slammed with a frying pan again.
H & I, both 32, together since 18. *M 7/03, A since 9/06. Bomb 7/07, H ended it w/ OW 9/08 * Agreed to D 6/09...very hard *D 8/10 * At peace, have become great friends w/ X-H and his new GF
Ouch. But good for you for expessing yourself to him. I bet he was unaware that you harboured all that. How did he respond? Well, at any rate.. it's off your chest and you won't have the script running thru your head for wks to come. Take care of yourself.
Beth, I think you did the right thing. Even if it feels like you got slammed with a frying pan. If you realized that you don't really want to be friends, I think the only way to get over him is to completely cut off all contact. Not as a technique or as a "going dim"... as a way to move forward. Because from my understanding, that's what you want to do!
It is strange, after all this pain, to realize there is even more. But you are moving forward!!!!!!
Rinserepeat--He was adamant that he wanted a divorce. His response to not being friends was, "that sucks, but I understand."
T--yes, it is definitely helping me move forward.
After that convo...he continued!!! to text and fb me. so I had to tell him again!! how I feel. he has since gotten the picture and has left me alone.
H & I, both 32, together since 18. *M 7/03, A since 9/06. Bomb 7/07, H ended it w/ OW 9/08 * Agreed to D 6/09...very hard *D 8/10 * At peace, have become great friends w/ X-H and his new GF
I have a feeling he'll continue to cross that boundary. You may find yourself having to get tough to keep yourself emotionally safe. Sorry. How are you doing? Now you've lost him as a friend as well. I can imagine it must be painful all over again.
I feel absolutely stalled and really need some help letting go and moving on. Even my mother told me that it seems like I had gotten so much better and now I've gotten bad again. Ugh
H & I, both 32, together since 18. *M 7/03, A since 9/06. Bomb 7/07, H ended it w/ OW 9/08 * Agreed to D 6/09...very hard *D 8/10 * At peace, have become great friends w/ X-H and his new GF
It's time to think of something you can do for yourself. A trip, a show, a project.... something that you can do because you want to do it. Even better if it is something you wouldn't have done while you were with him.
At least, that's the kind of thing I I found can help when you get that stuckish feeling.
