My total story is in the Divorce Remedy section under Never saw it coming. I am confused as to what she wants. She still calls me pet names. Her van acted up and since I have a mechanical ability have spent the last week saving her over $1000 fixing it. Anyway while I was working on it she made a comment about at least with me she knew we would have safe sex. She also made other sexual comments. She told me the other night that she has not closed the door on me yet. However I was served last week. She also told me that we could date even when were divorced and sometimes people get remarried. What in the world is going on with her??? I know what drove her away mostly my controlling behavior and I am extremely critical. She told me the other day that I have made a 180 in the past 6 weeks. I think she is having a MLC. Anyone??? She also agreed to a DB coach but asked me what I had hoped to accomplish. I kind of lost it at that point. It is not easy.
You are so right about it not being easy. That's why it's better to weigh your thoughts before speaking.
Also, you or anyone else isn't going to fix or change her mind. She will have to come to that realization on her own. Hence the changes in you to give her a reason and hopefully draw her attraction and trust back.
Stay the positive upbeat you and it tends to become addictive.
cire
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
Without going into details I have been staying somewhere else for a couple of weeks. I come by to see the kid's and she will invite me to dinner. The other night we went out to dinner and a movie. Had a great time this time she complained the whole time about how the food was not the best. usually it is me and the meal is ruined. I just smiled and ate my skinny crab legs and bland Prime rib. On Mothers day we all went to church I fixed dinner as I love to cook and when I left I gave all the boy's a hug and kiss and told her goodbye. She had a sad look on her face and asked if she could have a hug. Of course. I wanted to anyway but I remember on another post where one of the woman said that woman like to be chased so I have tried to stay distant.?????????
when I left I gave all the boy's a hug and kiss and told her goodbye. She had a sad look on her face and asked if she could have a hug.
And from one father to another, I'll be willing to bet that an open display of love for your boys is not something that happened all too much when things were headed south? That would be what got her going.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
I had a nervous breakdown 2 weeks ago said and did ALL the wrong things. Needless to say I was detained and sent to a psych ward for 5 day's to evaluate whether I was suicidal. Today I am back home and I know she is wondering if I will snap again. The shrink said that I am a very aggressive business owner who if I am unsatisfied with an employee and I will generally take the tools from that person and get the job done. He also said my brain works either full speed or sleep. How did he know this just talking to me for 30 minutes, an amazing man if I must say. That is exactly how I am. % years ago the doc's told me I had congestive heart failure and there was nothing that could be done. I gained 40 pounds and became VERY depressed. I thought I was going to die at an early age 53. Well when she dropped the bomb I decided to hell with listening to the doc's and I started excercising and dieting. If the pill's don't kill me the workout will. 6 weeks later I have lost 30# and can go for 40 minutes on the nordic track. My heart has not exploded yet. The shrink also gave me some anti anxiety pills. I jokingly told my wife that the shrink said when I'm around her I should take a 1/2 instead of 1/4 pill. she didn't think that was to funny but she did snicker. He didn't really say that but it felt good.
When you have finished griping about your age, your weight, your condition, your pills...then some folks here might have something to work on with you!!!
You said -" I know what drove her away mostly my controlling behavior and I am extremely critical"
Thanx gfi had to really think of what you said. One of my biggest problem's is I am my worst critic and critisism is something I have to give alot of thought to. I became withdrawn over the years and when the work wasn't coming in I would blame everyone around me for my situation. therefore anger and resentment towards my wife and kid's. eventually she could stand no more and decided to leave. Hence I am at that point. Last night was a good night we sat around and watched tv. and joked around mild pillow fight and some slow dancing. I did not initiate any of this. I did not call her all day when she came home I made sure I was not there. When I walked in the door and was leaning on the kitchen counter asking her what she needed for me to get from the store she leaned against me as in "Iwant a hug" I put my arm around her and when I came from the store we sat down. All through the night it was her who would ask me to rub her feet. Something she always enjoyed and something I stopped doing along time ago. I told her I would brush her hair later she smiled and said "no you won't" that always was very seductive to her. I told her there were no strings attached it was just an IOU. She laughed and said "I have a whole list of IOU's for you" I smiled and said I know. Later she laid in my arms and gave me a very passionate kiss. When it came time for bed I did not initiate anything she actually pulled me next to her and wanted me to hold her (spoon). We have not done that in years. No sex and that was OK I told her I just wanted to be her friend again. We woke up and she acted as if she was happy I was there. Thanks for listening.
