((((((((((((mermaid))))))))) I have often thought of you along with everyone else here, I wih you luck wit your new adventures and your new home, You have been such a great support to me when times seemed so bad, I am also very proud of you I am glad you stopped by to let us know what is going on with you
I everyone I have not been on but I have thought about you all often. I am glad that Lonelybutwaiting and Wishing have updated. It is good to hear from you both.
BND I am so jealous that you were in New York but I am not sure it is possible for me right now.
MTN you sound so great as usual.
I have been busy with school and moving into my new house. It is not really my house and I don't really like it. I would have preferred not to move but my girls love it so that is okay for me.
I have had to close my daycare. It was not really my choice and I was quite sad and scared to do it but I know God will open another door for me. So right now I am between jobs and that is a little scary for me. I miss the kids in my daycare and now I have to fidn childcare for my own children so it is a bit difficult.
Christmas was harder than I thought it would be but not too bad. I did have fun and I got more Christmas presents that I thought I would get. Even one h bought for the girls to give me.
I have been distancing myself from h quite a bit. As my life moves in another direction I have no interest in interacting with him. I am not sure if I am just trying to protect myself or if I am not as healed as I would like to think. I know I do not want h back but I do miss my family entact.
I have caught up with a lot of posters and I will catch up with more of you. But Nic's postings struck me because there are similiarities between our two stitches and it makes me wonder if I won't file for d because I am afraid h will marry ow. But maybe I should so it would be the final rip of the bandaid and time for the final healing and really moving on with my life.
Anyway I am looking forward to a new year, new job and a new semester in school.
Mermaid! I am very happy to see that you've posted. Welcome back! Happy New Year and the whole nine yards.
I'm sorry you had to move and also close your day care. I know you loved to work with the children. I'm sorry that Christmas was very hard for you, but it's over now and you can look to the new year.
I do hope that you find that special job that will bring the light back into your life. Healing takes time and sometimes the wounds have to open in order to breathe new "cells" into the wound. Take each day as it comes.
I'm very happy to see that you and the girls are okay.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
It was really great to hear from you. I'm glad that things are going well; so sorry about your daycare though. Please keep us posted. I never thought about that before, not filing because as long as it stays like this, he cannot marry ow. Well, your heart will tell you what to do when the time is right, I am sure. You already know you're on a better path. Keep in touch!
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Happy New Year, mermaid! Sounds like you are going thru quite a lot of changes, hopefully all will work out for the best.
Don't worry about filing. You can always do it if you feel it's time and you determine that it's something that will work for you. Meanwhile believe me, if H decides it's time to M OW, he will be motivated to file and you will be D in no time. At least that's what happened to me. So don't sweat it. As for its possibly being the "final" rip of the bandaid good luck w/ that. That piece of paper did not make things feel any more final for me (and I don't even have kids to share w/ him).
Good luck w/ the move, daycare, school and on the job front.
Happy New Year, Mermaid! It's so nice to read this.
Originally Posted By: mermaid
I have been distancing myself from h quite a bit. As my life moves in another direction I have no interest in interacting with him. I am not sure if I am just trying to protect myself or if I am not as healed as I would like to think.
Both of those options seem to have a negative spin. How about that fact that he's just not someone you would really care to know if you didn't have children together? That's how I feel.
I can't say if you should or shouldn't file, but I CAN say that I'll be signing on the dotted line sometime this month - maybe even next week - and I am really looking forward to this being OVER. It's bittersweet, of course, since I never wanted it to happen, but it will be a relief when it's done.
Best wishes to you and your girls!
Nicola
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
Even though I am still standing after the divorce, I cannot tell you what a relief it is that it is over with.
The lawyer stuff was making me so anxious not to mention broke.
It seemed my ex could not see anything past his nose but the divorce process.
Now he is being nice and even doing things around the house, paying bills, filling the water softener.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
I figured I would post again before school starts again. My girls start tommorrow and I start Tuesday.
I have a couple of leads on a part time job so I hope to be employed soon then I will treat myself to a lap top.
Anyway I do kind of want to settle everything and have nothing left between h and I but of course the children will always be there. H is actually been very agreeable when it comes to the ds and me changing the schedule based on my schooling.
I am only trying to make sure that I am healed or at least healing. I see so many people who are able to accept ow and become friends with their x's. I am not sure that I can ever do that. I am not sure if that is healthy or not. I think though that if I were to just accept it all it might send a message to my ds that it is okay because every one lives happily ever after. I am also so against d and the fact that my h could expose my children so such immoral behaviour. I can't understand how he could just flaunt it in front of his daughters. Most people try to protect their children from such stuff not expose them to it. I think I need at least to be consistent with what they are learning.
Another thing is that h had no respect for me and I know he has none for ow so it sets such a bad example for my girls. They will learn from their father that it is okay for them to be treated that way by their future boyfriends or husbands. I know it is up to me to show them that they deserve to be treated with respect.
Well that is all for now. I hope to check in more often but working and going to school may make it difficult.
