...where does the time go....AMD I did manage to catch up with your thread....slowly too. Matilda I couldn't spot one but I do recall you saying you may not start one. Apologies for being so neglectful. Hope you are all well. All good this side of the pond.
I've been asked the questions that follow a couple of times recently but am not really sure I have an answer. My situation was different so I never faced this scenario.
Your partner/spouse has said it's over. You are physically separated. The roller coaster starts, you go through the pleading, ILY's, explanations etc.... They don't respond to your SMS, e-mails, phone calls. There is no immediate reason to meet.
So you stop the chase, stop trying to make contact. GAL, look after you, try to detach . . .
But then what:
- do you simply wait for contact from your partner/spouse? - or do you make contact and how long do you wait before making contact? - what do you say when you make contact?
I think it depends on what the goal is after/while GALing and learning to love yourself. For instance, my H is really laying low these days. He doesn't answer his phone often and stops by VERY occasionally. My response is to text a "nice" message every 3 days or so, something like "Hope you had a great weekend! Be well." My goal is twofold:
1. to let him know I'm alive and doing very well, and 2. to make him wonder why the hell I'm texting and not calling--creating mystery, in other words.
Of course, my H is crazy MLC, so this may not apply to everyone.
I think the real key is where we all start: ask yourself what your goal is and plan from there.
Hope that helps somehow. What are you up to these days, Andy?
Well, this thread has been going for a while.So thought it was time I posted.
Hard to believe but I joined 5 years ago. The children are 5 years older now of course. My son (now 18) has wheels and my daughter (16) would like some next year.
2009 was a funny old year. One of ups and downs. A Lemony Snicket kind of year in fact. It kicked off well but went a little awry about the point I totalled my car. It started a chain of events though that brought me to where I am now which is 7 months into a new relationship. The lady in question is gorgeous and has a young son. So I'm absolutely made up.
Strange though that the direction ones life can take hinges on such small details. A few m.p.h more or less, a few minutes more or less and things could have turned out so differently.
I'm going back to studying next year. Never too late I thought.
