Cool! Planning on later in March, will be there Thu - Sat (23-35). Driving Wed and Sun. I'll have a couple friends with me, and sis, and of course none of them have a clue about my marriage fiasco. Keylime pie? that's H's favorite, I hate to be ungracious, but good old apple would be great! Ashville is where I'm headed. Should I bring an extra horse(s) for you and GF? Know any cool places to ride? Sis hasn't been out around there enough yet in the little time she's lived there to know the good spots.
Good luck on your adult meeting! Overall you sound great. I am so happy for you.
Just keep the sun shining, and anything above freezing temps will be a welcome warm. Keep in touch!
Hi all... Guess I discovered that I'm not indestructable at my advanced age of 58. Was feeling "puny" earlier this month so I went for a checkup. That turned into an invasion into parts not meant to be prodded by anyone
But, I'm back, having left some of "me" behind and added a couple of small zippers. Doc said years ago it would have been a great deal more than the couple of small ones I'm sporting. Feeling pretty good, but no heavy lifting for another week so the workouts will have to be light. Lost a few more pounds from it too, just in time for summer
Girlfriend thought she was Florence Nightingale and drove me nuts for the couple of days I was really "down". "Honey, I can't sleep if you keep adjusting my pillow and asking me if I'm O.K." XW was even concerned.
Actually, that really broke the ice and it needed to happen. XW and I are now having good, open discussions about the welfare of the kids. And GF doesn't feel threatened anymore since she understands the real connection with her is the children. Or, at least, she doesn't appear to be jealous any more. We had some very difficult times last month over the XW. GF wanted to know where I was all of the time and then she would get mad at herself for being jealous and mad at me for being the cause of it. She told me she "broke up" with me several times even thought I didn't know it.
So, though I'm moving slowly and cautiously, I'm feeling better every day. GF tried on her bikini Friday night and declared herself on a diet. I am begining to see symptoms similar to one who is trying to quit smoking so I think I'll be spending more time with the kids or at the airport.
I hope all of you Big D survivors are doing better too.
Interesting post--the fact that your GF broke up with you a couple of times. It sounds as if she really was concerned. It might help to remember that you're a guy and the women need to hear things--they need to have us talk--to let them know what we're thinking.
It's true that guys are linear, and we like to move from point A to point B, but that's not necessarily the common path we share with the opposite gender--talk things out--verbalize and vocalize in a positive way to clarify what you're doing and why you're doing it.
Might help you avoid some troubles in the future.
Nice to know you're going to be fine, health wise.
AV8R, you hang around here yet? Missed you on my trip, but it sounds like you were having some minor difficulties at the time.
Lots of things have popped up that keep reminding me that I wonder how you're doing - 1 - Sis in AL has a neighbor with an airstrip and he is a retired stunt pilot. Now he gives lessons, so most every night when we returned home from riding we'd get to see the last of the airshow. 2 - BigAl and I were talking and we wondered how you are.... 3 - Had a guy stop in at work, and he was all excited about the big annual air show in cheese country, he attends every year. He gave me his name, and said if I come to the gate and ask for him he'll give a personal tour. He is from Alabama.
It would be great to hear from you.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Hi WCW!! Yup, I've been out of touch for a while. Trying to get my financial house in order . Changing jobs next week - funny, but they always said that once you get into your 50's the demand for you on the job market drops. Well, they called me . Experience counts for something after all. The new job will help, and I've initiated a new financial conservatism to my budget.
Girl friend and I are getting along very well. She's happy and doing much better with a somewhat stable guy around. She met my kids and loves them.
I'm spending as much time with the bambinos as possible. D18 is working full time for the summer. Apparently XW has abdicated responsibility for discipline in the house and her new hubby doesn't want to get involved. D18 was telling me about S16 1&2 and how SHE has to keep them under control. Very bad
At 18 she is still a child and does not need this responsibility. I spent time with the three of them last week and noticed S16#1 seems to have developed a mean streak towards #2. Meanwhile #2 has become withdrawn. Were I there daily I'd have this under control, but I'll not hide behind my absence.
I'm open to suggestions from one and all. My feeling right now is S16#1 needs a stern meeting behind the woodshed. #2 needs some one-on-one time to concentrate on rebuilding his self-esteem.
I discussed this with XW and got a weak "oh, they're doing better". Not true and not good enough. I think S16#1 is venting his anger about the upheaval in his life on #2. S16#2 is holding his anger inside and the agressiveness of #1 is driving him further into himself. As far as D18 is concerned, I'm afraid she is turning into "mommy" before her time. She's going to end up marrying someone too early just to get away from a responsibility she neither wants nor deserves. XW doesn't want to look beyond her own self-interests, which is what got us here to begin with.
Sorry for venting, but I feel better . This is also helping me formulate a plan.
Scotti, where have you been girl? What's happening in your sitch? Did you move to a forum that I can't locate?
The kid thing has an ebb and flow to it. There are times when they just don't seem to get it, and then there are moments when they seem so mature. Now that I've come to understand some of what is happening, (I think) I'm acting on the issues. Looking forward to Father's Day.
Scotti, I miss your upbeat attitude. Please let me know how you're doing.
Journaling: Funny how, at the lowest point this time one year ago, I thought all I wanted was to save my marriage. Now that seems like a distant memory. I kept a journal and have re-read it and remember the pain and the highs and lows.
Now my XW is married to the OM that I never believed existed Today that distant memory doesn't even result in a twinge, but I do miss my kids terribly. I see them every weekend but it is still very hard.
In an effort to be sure I don't fall into the same trap that ended my 18 year marriage, I refer to DB and Love Languages on occasion. Girlfriend and I have grown very close and this just might turn into something somewhat unexpected. Hey, I'm pushing 59 years old so who expected to feel like a teenager again 40 years later? Just goes to show you that there is a future after the misery is over.
I'm glad to hear you're doing so well. I remember our time together over on DBND and had all of the same feelings you had. I hope that I can join you in your new found liberation. I have made a number of realizations that should help me along once I get past the reopening of the wounds. I can't wait.
. Changing jobs next week - funny, but they always said that once you get into your 50's the demand for you on the job market drops. Well, they called me 
Today that distant memory doesn't even result in a twinge, but I do miss my kids terribly. I see them every weekend but it is still very hard.