Quote: I mentioned that D10 thought Pam had an interest in him. Instead of saying, "WTF? I'm not interested in her!" he said, "What? Really? Does she really think that? I don't think Pam would be interested in me as a package with kids and D7's disability."
So this doesn't make you feel the slightest twinge of jealousy? Just curious...
Quote: You’ve worked so hard, Betsey, to become the woman you are today. You’ve build a rock-hard foundation of friendship out of a quagmire of anger, pain, and lingering resentment – I would have thought it impossible, but you did it. And let’s face it, it was you who did all the hard stuff and logged those extra miles. You two will be wonderful co-parents to your daughters, and that friendship will carry you through the difficult and the happy times ahead.
I second Pen's eloquent words. She is right on the money, girlfriend.
Nope, I don't feel jealousy at all. Not one twinge. Had I felt any, I wouldn't have brought it up whatsoever--because I've learned that poisonous negative thoughts are contagious.
I can actually visualize him married to someone else other than me. How is that for being completely detached?
Wonder, thanks for your vote of confidence!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Quote: I picked up a very grumpy and tired D10. Hey, KAW, is your tween an attitude queen? I'm afraid that D10 has bouts of a real crappy and sullen attitude and I don't like it. Of course, I can remember that I felt the same way in 5th grade...
Oh yea, with the tiara and all to go with it!!! CAW jokes that when when D11 really begins to PMS, she bolting for an underground bunker and won't stick her head out for a week every month! Seriously tho, it amazes me how quickly she can turn it on and off ... like a light switch. One day you can make a comment and she will laugh crack a joke about it and in just a couple of hours make a comment in the same vein and she will go Tasmania Devil on ya. REALLY!
As for the rest of my comments, I sent ya an email so I won't duplicate it here. Sorry to the rest if that seems rude. Its not my intent and beg for your understanding.
Howdy all! Thanks everyone for their happy thoughts today. Once again, I feel good...
PIB and Wonder--Thanks for checking in!
KAW--D10 also has moments that vacillate between being her usual jovial self to becoming Ms. Hyde. Fortunately, I've gone through that process myself and know it for what it is. Doesn't make the road less bumpy, but I know what they mean.
She told me the other night that she is too old to hug me. After a disagreement and a reconciliation, she told me afterward that she would make an exception for me since I'm such a good mom. Ha!
Per the usual lately, I walked in my door to find some happy campers. D10 was hard at work doing homework, and D7 was camped out in front of the TV watching The Three Musketeers. Mr. W. was helping D10 with her homework.
He looked really sharp, and I commented on it... saying, "Wow, don't you look great today! Is that a new shirt?" He looked up and looked at me with a grin but some disbelief and said, "Uh, Bets, no. You bought it for me several years ago and bought me a black one too. Remember?"
I just grinned back and said, "No, I don't remember. But it's good to know that I still have good taste!"
He and D10 found that to be really funny... but he was in a hurry to get to D10's back to school night, so our amusement was cut short.
He called after the meeting and gave us the thumbnail sketch of what is expected of D10 this year and told me he would see me bright and early this morning.
I awoke at 4 am at the tail end of a nightmare where the subject matter was him. I was in a wheelchair and living in some institution (which actually reminded me of my college dorm) when I heard a strange man asking for me.
He looked really sad so when he approached me, I knew his news was bad. He introduced himself as one of Mr. W.'s uncles (that I had not met) and let me know that Mr. W. had died a horribly tragic death. As he started to describe the events leading up to his untimely demise, I felt horrible anxiety and despair. I really wanted to know how he died, but I really didn't. I think my subconscious knew that I didn't need to go there, because I forced myself to wake up.
D7 was sleeping peacefully, so it wasn't her movement that stirred me. I was sweating profusely and had adrenaline coursing through my veins. And let me tell you, I was really relieved that I wasn't going to be processing feelings of grief and sadness to that level in reality.
I really don't need a dream interpreter to figure this one out, as it is really obvious. But why the heck was I physically disabled and living in some institution? Boy, if I go there, you guys better come visit me...
Fortunately, he walked through the front door with all his limbs intact and wearing a smile. D7 and I were watching the tail end of Sponge Bob (it was really funny this morning), and he and I just stood there laughing at D7, who was imitating Bob...
All is well in my part of the ocean. Take care!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Gotta love the subconscious, don't ya? That was perfect.
Your story about the shirts reminds me of something H always teases me about. Whenever we used to go to the video store, I would habitually pick up a box, read it with interest and then say to H..."Hey how about this? It has actors X, Y and Z. Do you think we might like seeing it?" H would always nod with excitement and say, "Well, yeah, I am sure you would. You liked it the FIRST time we saw it!" Ugh.
Your description of entering into the domestic setting with DD's and Mr W hanging out with homework and Sponge Bob, sounded so relaxed and easy. I could actually feel the release that your decision has brought. Or, maybe I am just good at imagining it.
Ok Bets, stop it with the Spongebob humor you are killing me!!, my s 10 loves that and I have to admit to laughing out loud at Patrick and SB antics
It must be really wierd to have Mr. W so much in your life , in your house etc and fight off the urge to drop into R discusions, I have a real hard time with that as evidenced by my W thinking I didn't want her within 5 miles of me you are a heck of a trooper the way you handle all of that. And did I say my hero!!
Just checking in as promised, no more convos or emails from W since the nice exchange you commented on? saw her an hour ago when she came out to the car and droed off some things for the kids, she barely said hi or looked at me? think she is going out of town supossedly to visit my aunt and uncle? she may well be taking her Dr. friend ( OM) he was at her brothers wedding , drove W and my kids and went with them, guess that's why I wasn't invited after all.
Same weird stuff, different weird week, like you gettin a little tired of treading water
You have a great, no AWESOME weekend girl. Belt a couple for me
Hello Betsey...wanted to stop over and say hello and thanks for visiting me. You are such an amazing woman! I sure hope that Michelle can use your services for this BB. Maybe you need to become one of the moderators since you have such great wisdom and words to spread to the rest of us here. You are an inspiration, a heroine, a survivor. God be with you as you continue on your journey in life and love.
I'll be looking forward to our coast to coast toast and possibly a face to face encounter when you return from whenst you came! God is certainly shining on you and the rest of us for knowing you during this journey. Thank you for all that you have shared. Tootles................
There can not be a Sponge Bob convo without me, and in my opinion, it should be the Patrick show. Without Patrick, SB would be a has been.
But if you want a few laughs, check out Johnny Bravo! I get a kick out of him.
And whats this coast to coast toast? People tipping brews without me! Am I not popular enough to invite to the party? I swear I'll leave my pocket protector and cheap hawaiian shirt at home.
But on a serious note, I hope those dreams are few and far between. No one likes nightmares, especially ones that involve a loss of some sort. I can relate as I too dream of loss, but more of my children than XW. And I really think it would have the same effect if it were her.
I really don't have any words of wisdom. Your in a strange place right now. But there's lots of light and love around you (especially from D10 and D7).
Triple J
Things were different then. All is different now. I tried to explain, somehow..........
Eddie Vedder (Pearl Jam)
Betsey 
you are a heck of a trooper the way you handle all of that. And did I say my hero!!
