Things have ben going good for me. Pretty much status quo on the R front. We are getting along, talking, doing work around the house but nothing really emotional or physical.
I have been working my a** off at work and my W has been sick for almost 2 weeks so that makes it hard to do anything for us.
We had MC last night and she sent us home with some things to do. Since it has been forever since we hugged or kissed she said that we should start doing that when we get home from work. She told us it would be very awkward which both of us knew but I think my W is willing to try and so am I.
Second we are to come up with ideas of things to do together that are different then we have been doing which is basically dinner, movies and watching tv. We told her we take walks when it is warm and she said that was good. She asked if we talked and enjoyed each others copmpany and we both said that we did.
Lastly she wants us to write down two things over the next weeks of things that the other person does that you either like or dislike that you wanted to tell them about but did not. My W and I do not tell each other when something upsets us or when we want something from the other person. We sort of ignore it and it builds up and festers inside. Its a major problem with our R and the MC said we need to work though it but it will take time.
It was a light session but we are both very apprehensive of doing some of it. We are in a rut and like all things its hard to change but I am hoping that we both put forth the effort and that it will become easier over time. I look at it as I did when I first started to address my issues. It was difficult at first but once they become part of me it was very easy to continue.
Mike, I hope all is well in your life and that your dad and girlfriends mom are getting better.
Bridge, Ken, WT and NDS, I hope all of you are doing well also.
First off..excellant post..I think your MC may just be the bomb..he/she sounds like a really good one and it's nice to see that your W seems receptive to doing the exercises and going..
My life is good..I could use more money of course..
dad is doing great but as uyou know there is no cure for his brain cancer..so it will be a matter of time...Michele's mom is taking radiation treatments and is doing Ok..time will tell with her..
carry on brother..maintain...I'm liking what I read..
Our MC does seem to be good and when I meet with her alone a couple of weeks ago she said that her and my W seemed to hit it off so that is good also.
I think if we just put forth a real effort and not just go through the motions we might just be able to move this R forward. Time will tell but I need to just stay in the here and now and work from there.
Hope your enjoying the nicer weather and getting out for some golf. I did ok with my first round a couple of friday's ago but I need to get out more because I am rusty.
it rains like hell here lately..I've played golf 3x since my Febuary golf trip...GF and Caleigh taske up a lot of my time..now dad...I'll be glad when it warms up..
I like what your MC is doing. My MC was really good but didn't focus enough on the actual doing part like yours is. Although she did tell us to start dating when my W moved out of the room - but my W never got around to the dating part...lol.
At least your W looks like she is going to do the 'homework' with you.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
Our MC did give us "homework" but so far it is undone. I did ask her for a hug before she went away on Monday and we snuggled for a while in bed on Sunday morning but that has been about it. We seem to be on cruse control and its hard to change a habit that is so ingrained in our routine.
We are getting along well but its just very awkward at times and I need to find a way to ignore the tension that creeps in every now and again. Also my W is having a bad time at work and that of course adds to the stressfulness of the sitch. Its never easy, its always one thing after another. That just makes it hard to connect and stay connected and how if your not constantly working on your R that we end up where we are at. Nobodys fault, just ignorance and life, I guess.
Anyways,
I am going to my brothers this weekend for some much needed rest and time away from work and all the chitt at home. He has tickets to the NASCAR race in Richmond so it should be a good time. I am leaving on Thursday night to make it a long weekend.
I was going to give you a call on the way down to bs for a little bit if your avaliable around 7:30-8:00. If we don't get to talk have a great weekend.
Sounds like you need this coming weekend, hope you have a good time.
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We seem to be on cruse control and its hard to change a habit that is so ingrained in our routine.
Really? Maybe she's still not ready. I think there are times when we all think something sounds like a great idea until it comes time to implement. Then we find out if we are really ready.
Going to MC, to me, says that you are both ready for a change. Are you both on the same page or still trying to find that out?
I feel like there's more you'd like to say, but you're not. But I could be wrong (but also understand that you may not want to say it here and are talking offline).
I feel like there's more you'd like to say, but you're not. But I could be wrong (but also understand that you may not want to say it here and are talking offline).
hells bells...tell it all brother..tell it all...
Ahh Nascar in Richmond...nothing like a relaxing weekend amoungst drunk rednecks... just kidding....
you know what they say..Virginia is for Lovers... and I'll be in SW Virginia this weekend..
We seem to be on cruse control and its hard to change a habit that is so ingrained in our routine.
Really? Maybe she's still not ready. I think there are times when we all think something sounds like a great idea until it comes time to implement. Then we find out if we are really ready.
Going to MC, to me, says that you are both ready for a change. Are you both on the same page or still trying to find that out?
I feel like there's more you'd like to say, but you're not. But I could be wrong (but also understand that you may not want to say it here and are talking offline).
WT
Not sure if she is not ready or it just feels awkward because we have not be intimate outside the bedroom in a long time. I know how it feels for me but I cannot speak for her. I want to be more physical but don't because it feels like I am putting pressure on her.
And I hope your right about going to MC. She still makes off hand remarks but the MC told me to ignore them as long as she comes that is what is important. That is what I try and do.
I think we are on the same page most of the time. I just need to keep giving her space as I have been doing and not try to force any issues.
You are right about having more to say but just not sure how to write it exactly. I kinda need to just either think it through or talk about it more than anything. If you understand what I mean.
Good to hear from you WT and I soooooooo need this weekend to just unwind and forget about work and home. Putting in 11 to 12 hours a day for the past three weeks is starting to wear on me a little. Couple that with my W having problems at her work and it makes for a bad situation if we don't both find a way to relax. Getting away from each other might be the best thing right now.
How you doing? Hope your enjoying the great weather we have been having. I had a great weekend with my son. We went to a RR museum on Saturday and he go a RR merit badge. Then on Sunday we stained the deck together so it was good father son time.
of course..