Question:
My husband says he wants to come back for the kids but not me. I believe it’s a midlife crisis but it’s been 9 months since he’s been gone and I’ve come too far to accept him without change. I’m a stronger person than I was before. I just filed for divorce April 13 and took my half of the marital assets. He still doesn’t think he did anything wrong. He’s a liar, he wants the money I got, not the kids. Trust was broken and then he moved in with the other woman and her two young kids the 1st of April with a years lease for $1700 a month. I’m better than what he’s done to me. The family deserves better and yes, I’m scared. We have two children, a 16-year old daughter that is getting in trouble and a 13-year old son that is a non-verbal autistic and I know finding someone willing to take on my baggage is going to be hard. I don’t want a divorce but I can’t live like this anymore. He’s a control freak that wants his cake and eat it too. By the time he sees what he’s lost it’s going to be too late to fix it. Move on or give it a chance? My heart says I still love you but my head is screaming run away!
Michele’s answer:
My answer is short. Given how far you’ve come emotionally, if your ex wants to come back- whether it’s for the kids or not- you should insist on intensive counseling first. You and I have no idea whether he will grow, take responsibility for his actions and make real changes, but if you still love him and he’s willing to truly change by working with a professional, it might be worth the risk. But DO NOT LET HIM MOVE BACK WITHOUT GETTING HELP. First things first, even from the Divorce Buster!
Michele