It has been a long time since I have posted here. I see that there are a few tried and true helpers and I see many more that have joined this MLC LBS club.
For those of you who don’t know my sitch, the basics are- BD May 2019, H leaves to go to another country for work and was gone the whole summer. When he came back, he stayed home and then would leave when work permitted. There have been 2 different OW (both in another country) at this point there is not as far as I can tell. One year after BD, he tells me he wants a divorce. I tell him I don’t and NOTHING HAS PROGRESSED. Our D28 is grown and is currently home and will be leaving for work overseas. H currently still lives in D28s bedroom. She lives in the living room. It is definitely not ideal, however, I am getting a plan together and that takes time. H does not go anywhere and I do! I have a life! DNJ once said I have a teenager living at home and I do. He stays in that room and will not eat with D and I, goes to work, comes home and stays in the room. I talk to him like he is a friend but there are not any conflicts and he really does treat me like this is MY house and he just lives in it. I think that he thinks this is how it will be forever as he recently bought a new area rug for the room and a new bedspread. I think when I am ready to file he will be shocked.
For those of you new to this journey, being a lighthouse takes time and open yourself to learning about you. I never could have imagined i would be here 4 years later, but I am. Again, not ideal, but it works for me.
What a pleasant surprise to see an update from you. You sound grounded, level headed, and well healed. And you shine beautifully, just like a lighthouse. Bright and yet not focused upon H. You just become.
H is certainly wallowing away. It’s not hard to see that his path is steeped in depression. Depression is ever present in a crisis. And their progress is glacially slow.
You’ve reached 100 posts, please do start a new thread.
How was your summer? Mine went by in a seeming flash. Lol.
Have a great day.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
DnJ is right, you do sound strong! I am sorry that things have not progressed further with H. Him living in daughter's room does not sound ideal. Ho does she feel about living in the living room? That has to cause some resentment within her. How long do you think you can continue on this way? I am glad that he is at least respecting you with it being your house. It does sound like you are living with a teenager.
You mentioned that he will be surprised when you file. Do you have plans to file? Why do you think he will be surprised?
