I'm not happy that things are coming to this. It's great to have legal protections. Unfortunately, when it comes to fighting for your kids through the legal system, things can and will get ugly. What a shame. I don't care about the MR, but I do care about the pointlessness of this bickering. I'm going to be paying for lawyers' kids to go to college. My W can't let go of her abuse narrative and it's leading us to MAD.
U, I'm so sorry for the difficulty of your sitch. This "ace card" you have to play, are you mentally ready to play it? You sound like you really have yourself together. I'm not happy for your sitch but I am happy reading your growth over the months here.
The battle your W is putting up is unnecessary. Only the lawyers win in a drawn out battle. Why she feels the need to battle, I dont have a clue.
You're handling your sitch better than I mine, and mines more peaceful. Its impressive. Keep that strength. Looking forward to your next updates.
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated
Core ~ Like everyone here I'm doing my best. I am ready to play the card because I am increasingly left with no choice. I recognize with anxiety there is a fallacy that I can DO something that will fix things. In reality, my situation is a sh**show. My kids are caught in the middle and it's horrible for everybody. But I have to press on and do the best I can, knowing full well that if I get 50-50 custody or we resolve the house issue or support is established, none of those things are going to fix things magically. Regardless of circumstances, today is a day I am alive and it's up to me if I want to be happy or not.
I'm not doing all that great, honestly, but I started on a mild SSRI a couple months ago that also helps with anxiety and it has done wonders for me. I don't feel nauseous, I don't feel panicky, I'm able to refocus. I don't think differently, but the thoughts don't trigger the same levels of panic and anxiety. Long-term I want to wrangle this myself through therapy, but I decided I needed some help. I'm living alone, during a quarantine, in a medium-to-high conflict divorce, hemorrhaging money, not knowing where my life is going to end up even in the next 3 months. It's reasonable that I would be struggling.
I restarted lifting weights in my garage, I do some yoga videos. But to be honest, I just have a lot of time and not much to do. I built an outdoor chair in my garage last weekend. I veg out.
I'm trying to make sure to do one thing each day that feels good. Today I'm going to order some new photos of my kids - I have a pin-up board in my kitchen and want to replace older photos with fresh ones. That will feel good.
I want to start out by saying I have nothing but compassion for what you are going through but I would be doing you a disservice if I didn't call you out on some of your thought patterns.
Originally Posted by unchien
I'm living alone, during a quarantine, in a medium-to-high conflict divorce, hemorrhaging money, not knowing where my life is going to end up even in the next 3 months. It's reasonable that I would be struggling.
Guess what U I have all the same things going on but my D is over. I will bet you have a way better job then me and that you are younger. You are hemorrhaging money because you moved out when we told you not to do it. You are hemorrhaging money because you won't push the D through. Fade told you 6-8 months ago that this was going to happen and you chose to ignore it. I have know idea where my life is going to end up 3 months from now. None of us do. You have to stop playing the victim U.
Lots of negotiations and back and forth with mediation and L's going on at this point. Little to no progress even with upcoming hearings coming to light. I've been off the forums for about a week because so many things have been put into motion, and I'm primarily focused on my kids, work, and all the disclosure documentation I'm working on.
In some way, I could report new developments every 5 minutes.
In another way, nothing has significantly changed in my situation. I'm going with the process to stand up for what I believe in, catching flak (which is to be expected, and 99% of the time I react to with indifference), and making sure to take care of myself along the way.
I have to be pretty coy at this point about the details. I am incredibly happy that I have L representation at this point so the process can move one way or another.
[quote=unchien] I'm going with the process to stand up for what I believe in, catching flak (which is to be expected, and 99% of the time I react to with indifference), and making sure to take care of myself along the way. [quote] Good for you man!
Despite my best efforts to resolve things through mediation, we are fast converging on a court date next week. The story of the legal back-and-forth the last few months is absolutely nuts and has consumed a lot of time and energy. I've remained calm and handled it well.
STBXW and I have made almost zero progress in mediation or counseling. I suspected this would happen, and put some things in motion a few months back. I am so thankful for my L. I found the perfect person to represent me.
In addition, I am feeling great, and this has been a consistent feeling the past month now. The key factor has been getting a handle on my anxiety. That has been the key to everything for me - more than dealing with my D. I can't overstate this enough.
In addition, I am feeling great, and this has been a consistent feeling the past month now. The key factor has been getting a handle on my anxiety. That has been the key to everything for me - more than dealing with my D. I can't overstate this enough.
That's great news U! I was thinking about you today while reading Core's update as you guys have a lot in common. Maybe you can give him some pointers on his anxiety?
