Well, I got out of dinner, and then got pulled back in. When she voices that she WANTS to go to dinner with me, I don't know what to do...
W: D is still napping did you still want to go to dinner? Me: Her and I will just eat dinner at home. W: Did I do something to upset you? Me: No, why? W: Because you seemed excited about dinner earlier today but don't want to go anymore. Do you want me to wake D up and bring her over? (note - she's already 30 minutes past drop-off time) Me: Yeah, she should probably go down for naps earlier on Tuesday! W: I try! But I'll wake her up and we can head over. Me: Okay. W: I wanted to go to dinner. Me: It seemed like you didn't want to since you've asked twice today. W: We will just come over and go from there. Me: Okay.
W: D is still napping did you still want to go to dinner? Me: Her and I will just eat dinner at home.No W: Did I do something to upset you? Me: No, why? W: Because you seemed excited about dinner earlier today but don't want to go anymore. Do you want me to wake D up and bring her over? (note - she's already 30 minutes past drop-off time) Me: Yeah, she should probably go down for naps earlier on Tuesday!Let her sleep for 30 more minutes before waking her. W: I try! But I'll wake her up and we can head over. Me: Okay. W: I wanted to go to dinner. Me: It seemed like you didn't want to since you've asked twice today.You are free to do whatever you want. W: We will just come over and go from there. Me: Okay.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
W: How is work? Me: It's okay, thanksBusy or Very busy W: Just okay? Me: Yeah W: Everything okay? Me: I'll be fineYes W: Just having a hard day? Me: I'll be okayNo,just really busy W: Okay
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Hey lumis I think you need to be careful if you’ve agreed to something like dinner to advise her if you’re then not going. If you’re responding to her confirmation message by then declining it could make you sound wishy washy and unreliable .
Me: early 40's XW: nearly 50 T: 15 M: 5 BD: Jan 19 S:10 SS: 22 SD: 24
I appreciate the coaching and I will refer to your responses for future texts I receive; thank you!
We did end up going to dinner. I don't regret it - it was a positive experience overall and we had a good time (plus, she paid). R talk was minimal.
She mentioned one really interesting point - in her time alone, she's realized that she's never let herself be fully vulnerable with me (do to her obvious trust issues), and believes this is what caused much of her inability to come forward when she's made mistakes (money, cheating, etc.). Just something that gave me food for thought, but it was an interesting perspective.
We have more or less been keeping to ourselves aside from exchanges of our D. On Tuesday, she said she was going on a solo vacation after dropping our D off. I asked where, then quickly said 'not like the exact address... just wondering!' and I was expecting her to say the coast, or something.
Nope!
She cleaned out our frequent flyer points to take a 2-night vacation to Vegas saying it was 'cheaper than driving to the coast'. She mentioned a few times that she was going alone. Whatever... nothing really shocks me anymore and I don't really trust anything she says.
I filed papers on Friday, she signed the acceptance of service a day later (again, didn't read anything - just pencil-whipped it).
Today, while cleaning, I found out that after her EA in January (which started on a video game online), after I had taken the game away (it was her Christmas present to me...), she purchased a second copy of the game to play without me knowing (and using voice chat was a wholly perfect way to continue the EA without any way of me finding out). That said, the second copy was still sealed... but it still hurts.
Sorry Lumis. Hate to say it...but Vegas isn’t somewhere anyone goes alone unless they are a professional gambler. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was meeting someone there. But...like you said...whatever. You just need to do what you need to do to move forward with your life. (((HUGS)))
Sorry Lumis. Hate to say it...but Vegas isn’t somewhere anyone goes alone unless they are a professional gambler. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was meeting someone there. But...like you said...whatever. You just need to do what you need to do to move forward with your life. (((HUGS)))
It's a little different for her and I as it was a frequent short vacation destination, but I'm not in denial here, it's probably a 50:50 chance she met someone there.
