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A Message from Michele
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Re: Living in a cyclone [Re: adinva] #2607460
09/16/15 09:24 PM
09/16/15 09:24 PM
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 2,877
VA
A
adinva Offline OP
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adinva  Offline OP
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 2,877
VA
Too slow on the edit button. H's shorting me on the mortgage isn't literally ok with me; i just meant if that's the way this ends up going i'll deal with whatever it is. I persnally think he should be paying half or he can drive his butt over here and start helping me maintain it. Lol.

We just see things differently.


Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
__
Happiness is a warm puppy.
Re: Living in a cyclone [Re: adinva] #2607736
09/18/15 12:39 AM
09/18/15 12:39 AM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 14,951
K
kml Offline
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kml  Offline
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K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 14,951
One common solution with kids the ages of yours is for both of you to pay half the mortgage until the kids graduate from high school, then sell the house and split the equity. It puts the kids' needs first and he can benefit from any increase in the value of the house over those years. However, if his financial situation prevents him from being able to do that, then you'll have to just suck it up and move.

Re: Living in a cyclone [Re: kml] #2607990
09/18/15 11:34 PM
09/18/15 11:34 PM
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 2,877
VA
A
adinva Offline OP
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adinva  Offline OP
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 2,877
VA
That's basically what we've been doing, except that he pays less than half the mortgage to compensate himself for not living in the house.

I'm running in the red because of that, so I'm inclined to either convince him to start paying more or else the kids and i find something smaller that i can afford.

It is hard for me to stop looking at how much he's able to save and how much more he spends, thinking he can afford to pay me more...
...and I see he thinks if we can figure out exactly what the kid's expenses are then he'll pay that, but no more.

Our advisor's job is to help us get to a fair agreement, so we've got a lot more negotiating to do.

===
Big strides. I got agreement from him one one of our other sticking points.

I met with a realtor, learned we need to put in carpet and paint, repair the hardwood, and $1k landscaping to get top price, that's probably $15k.

I got vendor recommendations for those jobs.

More homework, i need to price out of pocket estimated costs of my new health ins plan.

This is so much work.


Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
__
Happiness is a warm puppy.
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Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

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