I'd let it go. I know you'd like the outcome to be a "Wow! How stupid was I!", but it won't be. What do you see the outcome being? Just so he knows you know? Does this help YOU in some way I'm not seeing?
I'd also think about whether you want to hear this stuff from friends. If not give them some guidelines. Something on the order of not relaying conversations back to you. You need to decide for yourself first though.
Be careful about your friend from what you say about not knowing if she is trying to hurt you or not, she could be blowing things out of proportion. Some people who have the best intentions still do things that are more hurtful because they think you are trying to find a reason to end your marriage so they think by telling you all sorts of things it will help you in your quest.
Does she know that you are working on your marriage? Is she married?
I think that I would not confront him now. Wait see what happens, how did he act when he got home?
gals, I know I should let it go... that is what my DB coach told me too when I talked with her today! she said that unless I think that confronting him about it will bring us closer. But she would be worried since it was second hand info.
as for the friend that told me she is not married, but she has SO for 12 years and they are currently separated and things are not going well there... so maybe she just wants someone to go thru this all with... I don't know... I think she knows that we/I am working on this. She seems surprisingly happy for me when things have been going well!!! so I just don't know. She has been a friend for 10 years and I don't want the relationship over b/c of something stupid like this!
I think you guys are right, I am just going to let it go unless it comes up someway or how in a coversations. Who knows if it ever will... But I don't know everything that is said at his job and he doesn't at mine... and I think that is why we no longer work together... this is best for us to have separate jobs so that time together at home was more beneficial.
Like Always THANKS!!! you guys are life savers...
wife of an addict M 39 H 39 D18 D 16 Together 19 M17
Wow, just an update, H stayed home again last night with me. He didn't ask to go out with the guys or anything. it has been 2 full weeks since he has gone out by himself. Tonight H is going out with me. it is my BIL's bday and so we are celebrating.
Hopefully things go well.
gotta run. Need to get gussied up for the night out
Last edited by TabD; 03/31/0710:42 PM.
wife of an addict M 39 H 39 D18 D 16 Together 19 M17
