Stay tough. Believe in yourself, I know how hard that is. Don't read too much into things as well. It is probably great that you are not here every day.
Allen -45 W-36, D-17, S-13 Bomb 11-15-06 "Energy and persistence conquer all things." -Benjamin Franklin [url=http:// My 1st Thread ] My 1st Thread [/url]
Thank for the input Allen, I do know that there are others on here that need me, so I drop in once in awhile. Last night I was discussing the whole sitch with someone who is familiar with my story. She made the comment that "I had made good/right choices" along the way as this ride has progressed. It gave me a good feeling that someone, who was not familiar with the books and this site, could recognize the good work I have done since this began. I don't think I have not made mistakes, however they have been very minor.
Things are going generally smooth. W is not feeling well lately, some of the crud going around, she still has been very decent to me. I think she is starting to share more with me and include me more with what is going on in her life. No we're not out of the woods, but I think there is positive steps going on.
OK, looks like it just journalized in someone else thread. So, I figured I better come over here and put something down. Keeping very busy. Making new freinds and associations. Having lots of fun.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Trying to line up a weekend where we can get away and discuss what is going on. So many thoughts, I'm so unsure what to do. Perhaps need to sit with a C before I do that. I need some change but I don't want to drive her off either. There has been some efforts by W, however I don't know if it's just trying for a better atmosphere, or trying to make things better.
Maybe what puts us where we are is a fear by both parties to deal with things head on. I find I am either an "on or off" type person when it comes to that. When I am on W sees it as controlling. W likes to feel that she is in control of her sitch, even though when it comes to M/R she does not know how to address things. When I try to jump in and save the day, it's seen as manipulative, but if I do nothing it's seen as apathetic. Kind of a no win. We need to see a C, but how do I present it?
Ha, so you are accused of rushing in to save the day too? jeesh that still stings from when H said that to me. I suppose he was right (IMO defensive because he knew I was right), but um, the cows are in a heat cycle NOW, you haven't taken care of this for months, and you want fall calving not winter calving so yes I rushed in to save the day and got a bull here. Sorry Phoenix, can you tell you struck a n-e-r-v-e?
If you are ready, I suggest you go see a C for yourself. You might get fresh perspective and ideas. It doesn't need to be a secret, when W finds out she might be curious enough to join the party. It could push her off the fence, and you've got a 50/50 or better chance she will land on your side.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Yes, I'm going to have to get the ball rolling next week to get this happening. Since $ has been tight, this has been put off. However, there is another path I can take, that will take care of that. If I don't do something soon, we will be stuck on the fence.
This week I finished a major project, on time and everyone was very pleased. Do you think I got a word of praise from W? No, but I did catch her taking a picture. Doesn't want to show her hand I suspect.
180s
Stay on top of projects. Showing a little of the old friskiness. Do major stuff around house, especially when not asked. Handle things that require public interaction which W hates.
No negative responses to 180s, so I guess I'll call it a good week.
