Like a ton of bricks.

[Lost_for_now]

LD,

Yes, our situations do sound similar. I never got the intense pressure to have children that you describe, but clearly (since that's one of the things she now says got us to where we are) she wanted them.

I want to thank you for your advice as well, I do appreciate it. We just got a lot of snow here, and I am planning on taking the dogs out to run. They love the snow!

I am going to check out your thread, mostly to see if I can take anything from it but also in case I can add something. I don't know if I'll be able to, but I will try!

[faithisbelieving]

Lie detector? Whew...better drop that NOW!!!! Even for me...that is NOT a good thing to say to a woman..or anyone you love.

Listen, it was not fun but my W TOLD me..on her own...what happened. 10 years ago that would be an instant D for me. But...we have kids. Both of us weren't virgins when we entered this M...and my W may not be 'sick' but she is certainly confused and has issues. Does that make it right? No. For me, I can forgive what happened. At least from what I can see, it was one time, terminated quickly and my W was depressed about it, upset and it sent her back to me.

I can tell you right now that if you pursue this in this fashion, you will lose her for sure. If you need to know, you can do your own stuff. You can many times get your cell records online...you can order your itemized phone records for several months in the past and look for extended unrecognized phone calls. Best yet..just hire a P.I.

But get caught....and you'll have your pants around your ankles. Drop the lie detector my friend. Even I WOULDN'T SUBMIT MYSELF TO THAT. Go to that website and read some of David Cunningham's stuff. Would you characterize this behavior as 'alpha-male' or wimpish?

Think about it.

FIB

[Lost_for_now]

Well, the idea of having her take a lie detector test isn't really that relevant anymore, and hasn't been mentioned again since that night. However, the damage was probably done.

My thinking is though, if you've got nothing to hide, why not do it if it will make your partner feel secure?

In the end, you're probably right. When things are shaky already, adding that into it might well push it over the edge, and not in my favor. I've cetainly made mistakes through this process, and I'm sure I will make more unfortunately.

[Lost_for_now]

As an aside, I have too many threads going, so I'm going to center on the one I have in Newcomers. It's linked in my sig as "Reposted story to newcomers"

Any that wish to follow and offer advice are appreciated!