Rebirth to a New Life II

[Jeff223]

Thanks all.

Nice poem BBA. Thanks for stopping by RMG. FIB and ISLH, thanks. Glad you found me John; I was scolded by several folks for moving here.

Rain here and damp cold. Blaaaa. WCW is getting snow, as is IamTJ!

Mom is hanging in. I talked to a lung specialist yesterday and he said he sees improvement since she checked in but the whole team of docs are still concerned since they expected more improvement than they have seen. They are going to take some lung tissue tomorrow to see if the pneumonia is masking something more serious. But the doc said he did not think that was the case and that she just has very bad pneumonia. He thought she would get better.

Mom is very uncomfortable. Bed sores and a secondary infection are adding to her problems. I am getting the "please God, take me" talk. Very depressing.

As sick as she is, my mom wanted to talk about me and W. She is put out with W for not coming to see her. She went on and on how she treated W "like a daughter" and "now look". "I was so good to her and she can't even come for 10 minutes on her lunch break". My mom does not understand why the D. "What did you do to her? There must be someone else. W doesn’t know what she wants. She does not know what real trouble is". Then she got serious and told me to find someone else. "Whatever you did Jeff, W has no right to treat you and the kids this way. You are still a young man - think of yourself, find a nice girl, don't be alone."

My mom’s illness brings things into focus. How important life is and how my focus on my R really is not. How some people love no mater what and some choose not to. How we must focus on the future and not the past. How we must assess the present and use our assessment to move on.

I really like my mom. I hope she sticks around. Bless her heart.

[BaseballAnnie]

She sounds good. Her thoughts are clear. She sounds like a mom.

While I know you would rather the conversation be about something else, to hear her talking like a mom must give you comfort.

She sounds like a tough lady. And wise.

You're both in my prayers,
BA

[WCW]

Yes Jeff, I scolded you for moving here. Attitude is everything. But, maybe I'll start a thread here and call it Done But Not Divorced Yet and Too Chicken To Call The End.

Rain here and damp cold. Blaaaa. WCW is getting snow

Oh Jeff, it was just the greatest day. It started coming early this morning, so soft and gentle as I was waking up. Then it kept coming, all day long. It kept building up for a full six inches. I haven't had a full six inches for so long, it was just so wonderful, and to last so long too. What more could a woman want? HA, a bigger shovel!!!!

some people love no mater what and some choose not to. How we must focus on the future and not the past. How we must assess the present and use our assessment to move on.

Oh my, how these words really hit me hard tonight. More gut punches.

Your mom has a right to feel put out. Your W is most likely afraid of getting talked to like your mom is talking to you! Your mom sounds like she has a lot to say to you. Aren't moms great? When you think about it, have moms in general been off base or totally wrong? Very seldom. She is right Jeff, you're a young man. When the time is right, when you are ready, there will be more love for you.

Just to make you jealous - I made a snow angel tonight! The snow is so soft and fluffy and irresistable, I think it's been since grade school since I laid in the snow - on purpose. I was riding without a saddle one time loping thru the snowbanks, it kept getting deeper and was up to his belly but my horse was only 2 strides from the other side... I kept riding when he stopped. I somersaulted right over his head and landed on my back looking straight up his nostrils. I laughed so hard I could hardly stand up again. H was along that time too, many years ago, when we had fun together. Sigh.

[I_Still_Love_Him]

Jeff...Your mom sounds good. It never seizes to amaze me that no matter how old we get, Moms will always be Moms and yours cares about you and your kids so much. I think she cares about your W too but is also hurt by your W's absence.

You are still in my prayers today.

[princess_nic]

Jeff,

I've missed out on some important goings-on here. I'm sorry about your mother's illness, but glad that she seems to be doing well--lucid, in good spirits.

What a shame that your W is not able/willing to open her heart to you or your mother at this difficult time, but as you say, that is her choice. It's a sad one, but it's the road she has chosen.

I'm still with you,
Nicola

[faithisbelieving]

Jeff...you read my 'inspirational' note on my patient, right? It's funny how, as we grow older, we see our parents in a different light.....once we begin walking the same path they did.

My mom is 83 Jeff and I can understand how you feel. I have less time left with her which makes me cherish her more. Stay strong, and yes, puts life in perspective, right? I know you a 'little bit' by now Jeff.....you WILL be loved again. Trust me on that one. Be with your mom and hold her hand. FIB

[SweetRedd]

How important life is and how my focus on my R really is not. How some people love no mater what and some choose not to. How we must focus on the future and not the past. How we must assess the present and use our assessment to move on

Wow... this one got me. You are a wise man Jeff. Don't stop living and don't stop loving Here again you're speaking of detachment I think, maybe, possibly. How do we do that? Continue to live, love and put out good, but not focus the R with our SO as a measure of how successfully we're living and loving? Do all of us fight that? I mean... I can be having a great day personally, and then Wham! something will happen or not happen in my R and my outlook on life isn't so rosy. Maybe it's that lingering expectation that someone else can make us happy or not having enough of our own life to fulfill us on a continual basis. Not sure, but it's a frustrating cycle.

Glad your Mom is doing better and she had a chance to tell you how she feels. She is SO right.. your W doesn't know what troubles are. She could have so much with you if she'd just wake up and see that. Before you find yourself a nice girl No doubt if you decide to move on you won't have trouble finding a dance partner.

Sheila

[Jen_Jam]

How important life is and how my focus on my R really is not. How some people love no mater what and some choose not to. How we must focus on the future and not the past. How we must assess the present and use our assessment to move on

I will say these words hit me too, and helped in my current R problem. Your Mum is one heck of a wise lady and I am still praying for her recovery.

[Jeff223]

Thanks all. I so much want to respond to each of you – and I will when things get back to normal.

Mom got her lung biopsy today and it near killed her. The procedure is a non-risk one but she is so weak. I have seen corpses look better than she did today. Results of the biopsy will take a few days.

My W went to see her yesterday and again today. I was surprised but proud of her. I must admit my first reaction was “butt out of my business” and then I saw how hateful that was. She is trying to help as best she can and that is my first conclusion????

Wrong Jeff.

W did get to talk to the primary doctor and she called me to fill me in. Also very nice. Is that why I am still in love?? Bottom line, her doc said unless mom shows real improvement soon she may not make it.

I stopped at the hospital’s chapel and asked God to end her suffering, one way or the other. I also asked Him to help me – I hope that was not out of line.

[Jeff223]

Oh, BTW my "one year since the bomb" happened late last night. I remember after hearing her speech getting out of bed and going into the living room and asking God for a favor. After about two hours I went back to bed and W put her arm around me and said "it will all be okay, we will work through this".

It ain't that easy, is it