Quote: Good luck with the party. I'm still trying to figure out if I should buy candy for trick or treating.
Thanks!
You could buy some Halloween pencils, erasers, etc. and less candy. You can always use any leftover pencils yourself if you don't get a lot of traffic.
Barb,
Quote: I want you to just imagine the day when you're kissing your sweetie good morning and sending her out the door when XW is waiting outside.
There's a pleasant thought!
One of the things that bothers me is the idea that she's only there to watch me. There's no reason she couldn't let the kids wait for the bus there without her. I offered to let them wait here before and after school while she started looking for child care. (She never tried to find any until the school year was about to start.)
I don't like the idea that it would be fun for me to have her see me with someone else because that seems to me that I'd be with someone else in part to "get back" at XW or something. I don't like the idea, because I want to be "better" than that. It's like I'm not sure yet that I can trust myself and my own motivations to be in a new relationship, although friendship would be very nice right now. It's so complicated after D and I'm so concerned about "making sure" I don't make a mistake. Way too self concious or something.
Quote: I didn't realize you were a fellow Libra.
Yeah, for what it's worth. When I read horoscopes it seemed that any or all of them could have fit me or any number of other people, so I don't bother anymore. Besides, the sun wasn't in Libra in October, 1960. Maybe in October, some thousands BC, but not 46 years ago.
Michele,
I sent you a message today. Ignore the mail I sent yesterday.
Betsey, Glenda, Kev,
Thanks for the birthday wishes. It was Thursday. I turned 46. The Mets started a rookie in Game Seven who was wearing 46 and looking sharp against the Cards. But it was not to be this year. I wasn't all that disappointed because I saw two rookie pitchers do very well in that series and that bodes well for the team's future. And I had gone to dinner with the kids that evening and had no dishes to clean up. Always a mood booster, that!
Today is Party Day, and I'm looking forward to the finish line this evening! After Christmas and their birthdays, this is the biggest deal of the year to the kids, so I want to make it a good one. For the first time I'll be making T-shirts, using the artwork D11 made for the invites. They'll be in the prizes box for kids, but if they go over well, maybe next year I'll make them for everyone!
I have no idea what size crowd to expect this time, so I'm going to go easy on the hot dogs until (if/when) the crowd starts getting large. S7 and I over stuffed a piñata last night. I need the kids to make some "pin the nose on the pumpkin" kinds of decorations, and I need to do some more cleaning here. The party will be outside in this stunningly beautiful, autumn weather (Thanks again, God!) so I can do the clean up with a rake and a hose , but people will still need bathrooms!
Now I need to go get the kids in gear. They're on the trampoline and they won't do a lick of work while I'm on the computer. Oh, yeah, I need to have S14 help me move the trampoline so I don't have to try to watch over it, too!
Thanks,
Spooky Joe
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
I guess I wasn't thinking of it as a way to "get back at her" or anything like that, I guess I was just thinking that there will be a time when you have a new love in your life and it will do wonders to make this pain a thing in the distant past.
I hope the party is great. Sounds like it will be a lot of fun.
Each experience in life has formed me, become part of me, made me stronger.
Quote: Fall parties in this gorgeous weather are the best! [
I do love the fall. I used to go back to PA every year at this time. I'd meet old friends, take the kids to get pumpkins and to ride a steam train, see the valley in its fall attire as we rode down the mountain. I may have to make the trip without the kids, just to make the trip again.
I'll be writing to ask about this "digger" asleep behind me. It was just a very busy week.
Barb,
Quote: I guess I wasn't thinking of it as a way to "get back at her" or anything like that, I guess I was just thinking that there will be a time when you have a new love in your life and it will do wonders to make this pain a thing in the distant past.
I knew when I posted that comment that I was being unclear. I did not think you were suggesting I should get into an R to "get back at her." You're way too classy a lady.
But this is the kind of thing that goes through my head. I'll be working in the yard, for instance. It's way too much for me. It was a hobby and an escape for XW, and she worked part-time or not at all the last several years before the bomb, so she had a lot of time to spend on it. So when I'm working on trying to tend plants I can't name and I wonder if another woman someday will want to plant something here, then I wonder whether XW will get all worked up over someone else working in "her garden." Then I tell myself that if the thought of someone else working in the yard and upsetting XW is part of the motivation to have another R, I'm obviously not ready for an R.
I can't think of what a new R will be like without thinking of how XW will react, which is strange in itself, since there's no reason for her to react at all. She got what she wanted.
If I think about what I'm thinking, then I will think about thinking about what I'm thinking, etc. If I avoid thinking, I can't escape the feeling that I'm hiding from myself.
I'm still being unclear, I see.
I kept my eyes on the finish line and then S14 and his friends moved the darn thing! The party was way past quitting time (too late, really, for S7 and his classmates so I'm moving back to an afternoon to evening schedule in '07) yet S14 and his chums were still running loose in the neighborhood. As I was bringing tables and chairs back indoors I saw a couple vehicles picking up some of his friends. So I walked over there and found only two of his guests remained.
They had already cleared their plans to stay overnight with their respective parents! Acck! I had visions of crashing and sleeping in tomorrow. But S14 has not had visitors in a while, so I went along with it. They're all downstairs right now on the GameCube ('cause they have 4 controllers for that) playing some "E" rated games with S7.
So another Halloween party in the books. I was still trying to print the T shirt transfers, with the iron warming up in my room, as the first guests arrived. Now I have a small collection of bright orange T-shirts to go with the leftover chips and way too many sodas and juice boxes.
Oh, and I have three kids with a good memory of their traditional annual Halloween party. Some things even a WA can't kill. I done good!
Thanks,
Joe
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
You have any ideas to share for a girls only Halloween party at my house next Friday night? I've got the decorations, but I don't know what else to do with all those girls.
About the garden? Why not start small and begin planting things in the garden that please you? That way, you're reclaiming space that's already yours and customizing it to who you are now and not who you used to be.
Just an idea.
Back to dumb guy movie weekend. It's my theme this weekend.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Quote: I do love the fall. I used to go back to PA every year at this time. I'd meet old friends, take the kids to get pumpkins and to ride a steam train, see the valley in its fall attire as we rode down the mountain. I may have to make the trip without the kids, just to make the trip again.
that sounds like a great time.
I will give you any thoughts I can on the digger but that isn't an easy one. I still have digging goes on but no trees for it to bother and it doesn't happen often so I haven't tried to address it.
Thank you for posting about your party. It was so reminescent of some of the plans and happenings that we held every year at our house. Right down to the left overs! I always started working on additions or changes right after one to make next years even better.
I like Betsey's idea on your garden. Pottering with the plants is great just being time.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I just checked with D11 about how she'd plan a party if it were just for her and her gfs. She didn't name any activities. I asked about playing volleyball or touch football in the yard, and she said, "But I don't know if my friends like volleyball."
The last several years the girls from S14's class usually hung around in one or two groups until they'd start playing chase with the boys, not always boys chasing girls. The playing the bales of straw that was such a hit with S7's classmates, male and female, last night has no allure for the middle school crowd.
FWIW, D11 and two of her friends wandered around and chatted most of the night. If you're indoors and they're crafty, maybe let them work around a table on some kind of decoration? Ceramics, painting, something like that? You can always go with movies, too, but it seems to me there are more chances to chat when there are fewer chances to "Shush!"
Is it the v-ball gang? Do they enjoy playing enough to want to play some more? I'm looking to add a ping pong table downstairs when I can for our indoor entertaining. Do you have anything like that?
Thanks,
Joe
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
K, congrats on a party well done. You do have your hands full trying to plan a party that entertains such an age span.
I'm going to pipe in and second the thought that you make the gardening your own. Home Depot and Lowe's both have gardening publications that discuss your "zone" so you wouldn't be putting in stuff that would die right away for whatever reason. I know I have a yard full of trees that I don't even know what they are. They are all the same, deciduous tree but they are ugly. Given the long winters here, I tend to like conifers but I get really nasty with the squirrels because of all the damage they are causing at the cabin...so I probably won't put many in the yard here.
There are also a couple of great plant encyclopedias that show almost ever plant imaginable, whether it is annual or perennial, flowers (I often pick due to my favorite colors), and height so you can get an idea of whether to put them in the back of a flower bed or the front. My grandmother used to have beds of moss roses, a flower that is perhaps better for the central states, and they were always such a great variety of colors. I don't think they required much care but they were great ground cover in type.
So, I'll throw in my vote -- make the landscaping what you like and what you have time to care for. Then, it won't even cross your mind whether your XW will feel bad when you have a partner who putters in the yard landscaping.
Betsey, I'd suggest manicures with orange or black polish, face painting each other and watching HalloweenTown High on the DVD player! Add into that "make your own English Muffin pizza" and some weird dessert (like pudding with oreos and gummy worms -- I think they call that "trash" or something) and you will be The Best Mom in Colorado-oh-oh-oh!"
Joe, your party sounds great. I love how flexible you were with your son and his pals.
Hey, I think that is dirt cake -- we made it for one party and it was great. Had another one come through my e-mail that is made in a "new" kitty litter box and has crumbles of cookies and cake and cute little tootsie rolls. That might be too gross looking for any kids party.
After Christmas and their birthdays, this is the biggest deal of the year to the kids, so I want to make it a good one. For the first time I'll be making T-shirts, using the artwork D11 made for the invites. They'll be in the prizes box for kids, but if they go over well, maybe next year I'll make them for everyone! 
