OK, I apologize for this "post and run" style replies. Tonight was supposed to be my "catch up on others' threads" night!
Ellie,
Quote: if you can emphasize it's not a punishment or a failure to take a less advanced class, she may benefit from a change. ... make sure she isn't weak on some fundamentals.
I tried to present it as a "correction" in her scheduling. It's not a punishment, but I did tell her she would have to do much better right away to avoid the change. She seemed determined that night that she would (during our bedtime chat), but at homework time Saturday, she was not all that interested.
She doesn't know times tables like we learned them. I do see it slowing her calculations. What she's missing right now are the concepts. I didn't do so well in my first algebra classes, but in college (and still today) I loved abstract algebra. When the concepts fall into place for her, the details will be self-evident.
Glenda,
Quote: I was asked in college why I didn't just figure that out in my head and skip that step. It was always because if I didn't get the right answer I couldn't figure out where I messed up. There were times in chemistry I didn't get the right answer and my prof remarked how much he liked that I wrote out every step. If I had the correct formula and proceeded in the right direction, he always gave me partial credit.
I always showed all the work, too. Just like you, I was able to follow my own logic that way and I had some teachers who gave partial credit for the parts I did correctly when they could see what I had done.
D11 skips steps, and I don't know why. She doesn't understand why the steps are there, so she probably doesn't have a good reason to skip any.
LNL,
Quote: What you have is Joe time - use it!
Yeah, but how? I'm still playing catch up on the bills from the S and the D so when the kids are away, I'm usually working at least some extra time. Recently I haven't made up all the time I miss with their schedules (and the pets' appointments/crises), but I still try to make up time. Time is money, and time off is money I don't get.
Michele.
Quote: Joe, I'll bet that if I gave you an assessment which I use from time to time, you'd come out with a strong trait toward belongingness or connection. Would you agree?
Yup. I'll have more questions for you about that assessment later. I do wonder what the difference is between "a strong trait toward belongingness or connection" and an unhealthy "need" for external validation.
Barb,
Quote: Take Michele for example. When her kids are away, she makes eyes at naughty french men across a crowded room...just to keep in practice :
Yeah, why don't I get invites to the parties where unattached women are making eyes across the room. Maybe it's because je ne parle pas français? Mais je parle irlandais très bien.
I did work today and I'm officially caught up. Caught up for the one 2½ hour day from last week, that is. I still need to make up the time from all the other days. Life is grand.
I spent a zillion hours working on invitations and envelopes tonight. As soon as I check the Postal Service web site for regs on extra postage and size of envelopes, I'm off to la-la land.
Thanks,
Joe
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
Quote: D11 skips steps, and I don't know why. She doesn't understand why the steps are there, so she probably doesn't have a good reason to skip any.
Sometimes it's because they don't understand the steps. Sometimes it's because they are figuring itout in a different way. My oldest son had trouble with math classes at about this age, because he "just knew" the answer and couldn't explain how he got there. He always had very strong spatial skills, and I hear that many famous mathematicians have unconventional thinking skills.
Anyway, S19 got a perfect 800 on math on his SATs.
Quote: My oldest son had trouble with math classes at about this age, because he "just knew" the answer and couldn't explain how he got there.
Ellie, this made me smile. While I am no mathematical genius, I liked maths at school and often found I could come up with the answer intuitively. I hated those problems when you had to prove why something was so, I wanted to answer - It's just obvious !
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
D11 isn't figuring things out a different way. She just doesn't understand. She called me for help with her work in math, one night this week. Of course, I didn't have my phone with me. I called her back later that night and again the next day, but the first call was at her bedtime and the second was during her play rehearsal so I didn't reach her.
I did see her at her dance Friday night, wheree I seem to be an established figure now as the "Stairs Cop." I spent the early part of that night telling middle school kids in costumes, "Slow down!"
Last month they were using the normal stairwells. Friday night they used the seating in the gym, which opens to the cafeteria. Those stairs are much steeper, and a lot of the kids were in costume, so I wondered more than once if I would have to catch a kid falling down the stairs.
It was a blast to see the kids at the dance, though. They had a lot of fun, and I saw some of the chaperones on the dance floor doing some of the dances, too.
This morning's sermon was all about forgiveness. Just what I needed to hear. Fr. Dan cited the examples of the Amish parents in Lancaster who set up a scholarship fund for the children of the gunman who shot and killed the Amish students. Kinda makes my struggle with forgiving XW look petty.
I'll save you the tales of communications from the schools about work undone this week. I get the calls and the letters because I registered the kids. It's not the school's job to keep track of the custody arrangement, so I pass the word on when they contact me and then get off the phone as quickly as possible. (I don't like sending email from work, at least not on this job, and waiting till the transfer isn't always best for the kids.) It just seems that there is no easy way to get this woman's influence out of my life. How hard can it be to check a notebook each night and see what homework is assigned?
Talking with my T this week she said that I have often told her in recent months that I have a good life. And I do. I know I do. Yet when I wake up and XW is sitting in front of my house, instead of feeling thankful for having a house, I feel resentment towards her. For a guy with a life as good as mine, that's a helluva way to start the day, isn't it?
I got two morningtime visits from D11 this week. The first time I'm pretty sure that XW sent her in for some reason. I had just eaten breakfast. D11 didn't seem to know why she was there when I opened the door. But we chatted a bit, I suggested she greet her cat, and then she left before the bus showed up.
The second time she came in to use the bathroom. I may have scared her when I answered the door in my old glasses. This was on Thursday which should have been my "make up the hours" day at work because I knew I'd leave by 4 for the dance on Friday. But that morning the frame of my glasses had broken. I dug an old pair out of my glove compartment. They're huge compared to the wire frames I've worn the last several years, and they're tinted. Not to mention the prescription is ancient. Now I take them off outside the car and away from the computer, but D11 was stunned when I answered the door wearing them that morning.
I learned Thursday afternoon that new glasses are expensive. I can see why people save for the Lasik surgery. It'd pay for itself in a few years.
Yesterday morning I slept in since I could go to work anytime I felt like. I treated myself to the last of my blueberries for the season in my breakfast. I hope we do even better next year if some of the new blueberry bushes bear fruit.
Once I left the office I did some running around to gather party supplies. All the pumpkin piñatas were gone, but besides that I did pretty well. We're supposed to split the decorations, so I'm going to ask XW to follow me back tonight so the kids and I can put up whatever we keep.
Not much else going on. This is the calm before the storm, with the Halloween party on tap for Saturday. So far I've only heard back from one of S14's classmates that they will be here. I'll check with him tonight to see if he's heard from any others. S7's class doesn't know about the party, since this is their first year invited. I hope we get a good turnout from them. D11 hand delivered her invitations because she has people to invite from several different classes but we can't get a list of students' addresses like we got for S7's class.
And my birthday is this week (the big 4-6), so the kids and I will probably go out to eat somewhere so I can skip cooking. Depends on how the party prep is coming along.
Thanks,
Joe
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
Wow Joe, that was a doozie. I want you to just imagine the day when you're kissing your sweetie good morning and sending her out the door when XW is waiting outside. I think a big part of the pain is that our spouses have moved on before we've had a chance to heal and move on ourselves. I'm not saying that is the answer, but I think it's a big part of the healing process. Imagine she's out there, you just haven't met her yet.
I didn't realize you were a fellow Libra. Mine was the 8th. Happy Birthday Joe! Another reason to love October. Sounds like the party is going to be a good one. Have fun with the planning.
B
Each experience in life has formed me, become part of me, made me stronger.
Joe, did you get the email I sent you? I got a bounce back notice to a strange email address... like one of those replicating programs... let me know, will you?
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