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A Message from Michele
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Detaching #75878
04/17/01 04:14 AM
04/17/01 04:14 AM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
Tia Offline OP
Member
Tia  Offline OP
Member
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
This was originally posted by Peanut.
============
II. Detachment

Detachment is critical to the process of altering and repairing a relationship. Attached, we take personally all that is said, not said, done and not done. Our ego gets wounded and we are more inclined to those actions that will undermine our very best chances of accomplishing our goals. We can not control the actions of another. We are, however, responsible for our own actions. We are responsible for our own happiness. If we are detached from the actions of another, we can meet anger or indifference with love. Met with love we are in a position to diffuse the situation and transform it in a way that will be in alignment with our goals. On the flipside, detachment allows us to play it cool when we do get a positive reaction from our spouse. It is a way to break the distance/pursuer cycle.

Detachment is not withdrawal. It is not the mind saying, I am not getting what I want so I must pull back. It is the natural acceptance that I am alone responsible for how I act. I can not control another person, but I can control how I respond to them.


Re: Detaching #75879
09/24/01 03:16 PM
09/24/01 03:16 PM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
Tia Offline OP
Member
Tia  Offline OP
Member
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
^

Re: Detaching #75880
11/19/01 02:10 AM
11/19/01 02:10 AM
Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 3,315
Boulder, Colorado USA
Michele Offline
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Michele  Offline
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Posts: 3,315
Boulder, Colorado USA
^


The Divorce Buster
Re: Detaching #75881
02/02/02 02:21 AM
02/02/02 02:21 AM
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 840
Divorce Busting Center USA
Virginia Offline
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Virginia  Offline
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Posts: 840
Divorce Busting Center USA
~~**~~


Virginia Peeples
Assistant to Michele Weiner-Davis
The Divorce Busting Center

Transform your marriage with a private session with Michele Weiner-Davis.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004.
Re: Detaching #75882
03/12/02 04:20 AM
03/12/02 04:20 AM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
Tia Offline OP
Member
Tia  Offline OP
Member
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
^

Re: Detaching #75883
06/05/02 08:06 AM
06/05/02 08:06 AM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
Tia Offline OP
Member
Tia  Offline OP
Member
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
^

Re: Detaching #75884
08/04/02 09:43 AM
08/04/02 09:43 AM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
Tia Offline OP
Member
Tia  Offline OP
Member
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
^

Re: Detaching #75885
12/16/02 05:15 AM
12/16/02 05:15 AM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
Tia Offline OP
Member
Tia  Offline OP
Member
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
refresh

Re: Detaching #75886
12/16/02 05:52 AM
12/16/02 05:52 AM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
Tia Offline OP
Member
Tia  Offline OP
Member
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
updating

Re: Detaching #75887
05/07/03 06:00 AM
05/07/03 06:00 AM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
Tia Offline OP
Member
Tia  Offline OP
Member
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
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