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A Message from Michele
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Can't go on another day? #75865
02/22/01 03:07 PM
02/22/01 03:07 PM
Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 3,315
Boulder, Colorado USA
Michele Offline OP
Member
Michele  Offline OP
Member
Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 3,315
Boulder, Colorado USA
Here's some absolutely great advice from Greg. Thanks, Greg.
********************************
Do you feel like you can't go on? Like your world is nothing without your spouse?
Well... YOUR FEELINGS ARE DECEIVING YOU. You can go on, and you can have a great life without your spouse.

After marriage, you both come to rely on one another for many things; love, confidence, security, and many other physical, psychological, and material needs.

But, how did you survive on your own before you were married? Could you survive on your own before you were married? Are you surviving on your own now? Legitimate questions here folks.

Marriage requires a certain amount of co-dependency from each spouse as noted above. Here's the kicker: You have to learn to be independent before you can successfully be co-dependent. This is not a one-way street either, both spouses must learn to fend for themselves.

Giving your walkaway forgiveness, time, and space to develop or recapture their sense of self-worth (the soul?) and individualism is the BEST thing you can do for your troubled relationship.

And You. You need to build/maintain your own unique individualism, and be comfortable on your own before your walkaway spouse will see you in a positive light. These positive changes are what manifest into major doubts for the walkaway spouse as to whether or not they are doing the right thing by leaving you. The right thing meaning, the right thing for THEM. After all, this really is about them.

Worrying, begging, pleading, obsessing, negativity, and the list goes on, are all extremely counterproductive to your efforts. These are traits of a person who depends on other people to make them happy and get them through life. Do you want to live the rest of your life with a person who acts in these ways? Well, your walkaway spouse doesn't either. The truth is, other people can't MAKE you happy, they can only make you happier than you already are. True happiness comes from you and only you.

So, is this crisis in your life really a crisis, or an opportunity for personal growth in disguise?

People, please take care of yourselves FIRST. It will do incredible things for you and your relationship.

Peace.

G



The Divorce Buster
Re: Can't go on another day? #75866
03/25/01 11:54 PM
03/25/01 11:54 PM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
Tia Offline
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Tia  Offline
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Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
^

Re: Can't go on another day? #75867
05/28/01 01:26 AM
05/28/01 01:26 AM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
Tia Offline
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Tia  Offline
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Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
^

Re: Can't go on another day? #75868
06/30/01 10:45 PM
06/30/01 10:45 PM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
Tia Offline
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Tia  Offline
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Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
^

Re: Can't go on another day? #75869
09/24/01 02:59 PM
09/24/01 02:59 PM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
Tia Offline
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Tia  Offline
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Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
^

Re: Can't go on another day? #75870
11/19/01 02:20 AM
11/19/01 02:20 AM
Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 3,315
Boulder, Colorado USA
Michele Offline OP
Member
Michele  Offline OP
Member
Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 3,315
Boulder, Colorado USA
^


The Divorce Buster
Re: Can't go on another day? #75871
02/02/02 02:24 AM
02/02/02 02:24 AM
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 839
Divorce Busting Center USA
Virginia Offline
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Virginia  Offline
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 839
Divorce Busting Center USA
~~**~~


Virginia Peeples
Assistant to Michele Weiner-Davis
The Divorce Busting Center

Transform your marriage with a private session with Michele Weiner-Davis.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004.
Re: Can't go on another day? #75872
03/12/02 04:19 AM
03/12/02 04:19 AM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
Tia Offline
Member
Tia  Offline
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Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
^

Re: Can't go on another day? #75873
06/05/02 08:08 AM
06/05/02 08:08 AM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
Tia Offline
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Tia  Offline
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Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
^

Re: Can't go on another day? #75874
08/04/02 09:45 AM
08/04/02 09:45 AM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
Tia Offline
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Tia  Offline
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Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
^

Re: Can't go on another day? #75875
12/16/02 05:07 AM
12/16/02 05:07 AM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
Tia Offline
Member
Tia  Offline
Member
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
refresh

Re: Can't go on another day? #75876
05/16/03 11:29 AM
05/16/03 11:29 AM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
Tia Offline
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Tia  Offline
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Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
To top!
/T

Re: Can't go on another day? #75877
08/09/05 09:59 PM
08/09/05 09:59 PM
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 8,334
The GREAT Pacific Northwest
Jamesjohn Offline
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Jamesjohn  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 8,334
The GREAT Pacific Northwest
^


JJ

Read about Divorce Busting« Telephone Coaching here!
Re: Can't go on another day? [Re: Tia] #1309401
12/28/07 01:01 PM
12/28/07 01:01 PM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
Tia Offline
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Tia  Offline
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Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 4,757
Hawai'i
Thinking of you all,
/Tia

Re: Can't go on another day? [Re: Tia] #1386997
03/15/08 08:18 AM
03/15/08 08:18 AM
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 839
Divorce Busting Center USA
Virginia Offline
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Virginia  Offline
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 839
Divorce Busting Center USA
^


Virginia Peeples
Assistant to Michele Weiner-Davis
The Divorce Busting Center

Transform your marriage with a private session with Michele Weiner-Davis.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004.
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