piece by piece like slowlee slowlee

[treesa2]

Time to start anew again.... with Fee and L A W trading obsucre lines from B films & the birthday messages taking over... for which I thank you all... it was th 20th btw - Blue dogg just can't count .

OK... so doing the ouside work for the FFC - turns out more to it. Isn't there always.... H feeling responsible for hs older brother because of guess what- shared childhood issues... This brother...while a creative genious and working on some interesting things for Parker Brothers we hope... needs money to live on... and to support our neice. Long story short... FFCs little job would help Brother and get him in a place to talk to potential investor for his products.

As well... going back to childhood issues... H told me he has protected and helped this brother all his life, and always will. Interestingly, I have been finding bank receipts for a bank where we don't do our banking... (yeah yeah... snooped again) In my usual creative way of making assumptions I believed he was stashing dough for his own nefarious purposes down the road. But given our above conversations... I had this gut thing to ask him how much money he has sent his brother over the past year... and voila.... there it was... he told me a couple thousand...and I would bet it's more.

While it is laudatory, I do resent it because then our kids don't get the things I, maybe even we, want them to have... summer camps, a new musical instrument, a vacation out of town not with either of our relatives, renos nd repairs on the house..... sigh

However, the GOOD thing in all of this... we talked about money without totally killing each other, I learned more about his father's nastiness and H's feelings for his sibs.... in a new way... and while I don't agree that it's a burden he should bear.. he does, and my own experience in counselling tells me it won't change.... so I deal with it... Perhaps I might call my C and get her reaction to all this stuff. More than ever I know H needs some therapy to deal with this family dynamics stuff and the responsibility he believes he must shoulder for an older brother who basically ran away further than the rest of them did.

This is truly a case of marrying the entire family... so... I guess we are still trying to piece it together.

tree

[ANS]

quote:Originally posted by treesa2:

we talked about money without totally killing each other

There's a communications epidemic going on, and even tree isn't immune!!!

Not only that, but she's showing some understanding towards her H!!

Tree, have you been abducted by aliens????

But seriously, tree. You sound really good, and I believe that you're accepting more from your H and perhaps he's more accepting of you too.

Yeah. Still piecing, but it's starting to get a wee bit easier. Isn't it?

Andy

OK. the smartass got his digs in on the first post, so in fairness, here's a link to tres's last thread:

I THINK the divorce is busted?!!! NOW what?

[ May 23, 2002, 10:42 AM: Message edited by: ANS ]

[treesa2]

oooooh yeah... nearly forgot the other breakthrough...

So there we were mid way through "fireworks" on weekend morning when H's "sparkle" rather fizzled as I was in high flame shall we say, yet not quite wanting to do the H's usual maratthon type performance. Was looking more for the quiet slow burn instead... H seemed up tight, turned his back to me. I was left with a slow burn of another kind. H tends to turn his back to me as his way of dealing with his issues... part of the running away thing.

So I left the room slamming the door hard on my way out. Came back about 90 minutes later to get dressed and head out and he asks me if I am upset. "well d-uh" she says... and we talk about umm performance issues and the need for high calibre excercise all the time..and we chat some more; he gives me a hug and apologizes... and in the process tells me that he would appreciate initiation every once in awhile... hmmmm this is such a turn around... This is a major major change. Get involved... ok... but please I don't need a gymnastics routine every single outing.

did any of this make sense?? gawd... if he ever find me here I m sure I'd be toast!!
but we ARE piecing it together eh?

[Phoenix]

Hey TrEEgirl - great title for the new thread. Really applicable for some of the big stuff that's been going on for you guys at the TrEEhouse.

I like the new scenery for you guys. But it is scratchy isn't it? Check for ticks. For now it's just good to see how the two of you are relating to each other. Refreshing.

As for the $...well, if you can, look at it as therapy $ for H for right now? You know, one of the big reasons IGgy & I separated (among many ) was his need to rescue the family (and friends and aquaintenaces - the gas station attendant...) who refused to rescue themselves. Nothing left for us. It was really extreme as was everything. Guess what? It's changed. Not saying if someone has a valid need we wouldn't help - and sometimes we just give for no reason. But no one besides us is counting our income as part of theirs. And no one will again if I have anything to do with it.

It just takes time and direction. Anyway, you guys are aces baby! Really, I'm happy for you.

U - that was basically what Aretha said to Matt Guitar Murphy before she told him he had to think in Blues Brothers.

And for all the birthday songs, I say Dutchess had the best. But I just like her style anyway .

[Zebra]

Thanks tree. I had forgotten how many b'days. Now I remember --- 20. Good. I haven't lost as many brain cells as I thought. They grow back, right?

Happy birthday...... (hey, wait, doesn't tree have a 32 year old daughter???? )

z

[treesa2]

Zed Man.... sigh.... You are cracking me up... glad to see your sense of humour comin on through.

Fee... scratchy all right... but the fact he is trusting in the telling... biiiiiig thing.
Just gotta watch the cash flow...

Every now and again, I catch myself falling back into old patterns and I have to be soooooo careful. CanNOT go back there un-un... no way no how.... shall see how things go.

Bought H two tickets for a Dylan concert for Father's Day. I'll be out of town again this year on dad's day, but the concert is not til the end of the summer... and WHO ELSE would he take but me.... The latest Dylan album - I even like it... not like his blowin in the wind days where he sounds like a hyena in serious pain or somethihng... this new album actually quite hum-able...

Zed... watch the email.... Atlanta comin up... ya know?

[Duchess]

looking good tree.

I think about ya 9 months..same bed..no sex..that's right isn't it?

Here's me 7 months sep rooms no sex..sigh..

Duchess

[ANS]

quote:Originally posted by treesa2:
oooooh yeah... nearly forgot the other breakthrough...

So there we were mid way through "fireworks" on weekend morning when H's "sparkle" rather fizzled as I was in high flame shall we say, yet not quite wanting to do the H's usual maratthon type performance. Was looking more for the quiet slow burn instead... H seemed up tight, turned his back to me. I was left with a slow burn of another kind. H tends to turn his back to me as his way of dealing with his issues... part of the running away thing.

So I left the room slamming the door hard on my way out. Came back about 90 minutes later to get dressed and head out and he asks me if I am upset. "well d-uh" she says... and we talk about umm performance issues and the need for high calibre excercise all the time..and we chat some more; he gives me a hug and apologizes... and in the process tells me that he would appreciate initiation every once in awhile... hmmmm this is such a turn around... This is a major major change. Get involved... ok... but please I don't need a gymnastics routine every single outing.

did any of this make sense?? gawd... if he ever find me here I m sure I'd be toast!!
but we ARE piecing it together eh?

"well d-uh," says Andy. Do you have any idea how hard this was for him to talk about?

This was a major major step closer to you, tree. Bravo!

[Phoenix]

The other day I watched Poetic Justice (Janet Jackson/Tupak Shakur) - never had seen it, always made fun of it. But...It was a lot better than the credit I gave.

ANYWAY - toward the end Janet recites a poem - "Phenominal Woman". Hmmm...where have I heard that before... Wonder who popped into my brain?

Don't worry about the scratchy hon. Or even the ouchie. You guys are on a great path and it's supposed to be like that. Just trust your gut and that brain. Think you'll navigate fine.

Getting a LUSH-jones...Already told that friend who got me hooked that I'm gearing up for an order. No hinting dahling - just really hooked on that stuff !

[treesa2]

quote:Originally posted by Duchess:
I think about ya 9 months..same bed..no sex..that's right isn't it? Here's me 7 months sep rooms no sex..sigh..Duchess

Yep Duch... it was a looooooong 9 months... same bed... and nothing... then out of the blue.... he starts to touch... doesn't flinch if I touch him... started moving beyond what we called the NLMzone... no man's land zone in the middle of the bed... and the next you know it's Canada Day.... FIREWORKS!!!!!
It was also the same morning my 8 yr old decided to cut her own hair....
Quite the day...I won't forget that one.... and if I do say so... now almost a year later... I even notice how the fireworks have changed... it's all evolving....

patience Duchess... that's all I can say... as hard as it was and still is. As Lily always says about what does she call him... Oregano or something?? I Love Him... what ELSE am I to do?

tree

[ May 24, 2002, 01:54 PM: Message edited by: treesa2 ]