Here's a wonderful letter I received from a dear woman who attended the seminar in April. Isn't life great? **************** Dear Michele:
I'm very moved by what's happening in my life right now. Jason, my husband, keeps responding to my changes, so I keep making them. We're on track to be a couple again in time for the May anniversary of "our first kiss" 17 years ago. The way we're behaving, it's going to be a romantic anniversary.
I'm just amazed. Moved, astounded and humble, too. And you know, we were bitter, resentful and estranged in December when I picked up your book.
I would NEVER in a million years have been willing to soften first if your words hadn't reached something (sensible) in me. I would NEVER have been able to open my heart. I was hurt, righteous, adamant and miserable not very long ago. We were both depressed and sinking.
Your book opened my eyes and offered me a lifeline. I'm not kidding! I didn't believe you at first, but I had to laugh as I did the exercises and saw I was being stubborn. I softened. I stopped accusing. I shut up and dressed up and attended to myself -- what did I have to lose?
Your book and your messageboard guided me. I would have retaliated and initiated an affair if you hadn't told me I could save my M. I'm proud to say I listened and learned.
I'm doing things differently now, and not out of desperation and pain, but because I want to thank my H for being nice to me. Yes, nice! The MEAN guy who stonewalled me for months DANCED with me at a party last Saturday and winked "let's go home early."
And he came home with with his cheery, friendly, no-longer-resentful, no-longer-grudge-holding, no-longer-self-pitying wife.
Right now I'm totally absorbed by DB -- I gave my DR to my sister. I feel like the missing piece of the puzzle of how relationships work has fallen into place in my life and I want to apply these ideas all over the place.
Once again, thanks from the heart, and smiles from a satisfied customer.
I placed my order yesterday and I'm praying that I can talk my wife into at least watching the first one. While I think my 180 has been noticed, there has been a setback (nothing I instigated, but I couldn't just walk away..arrgh) and I need to try something else.
Just wanted to let you know that I FINALLY got control of my TV long enough to watch the first of the Marriage Breakthrough tapes, and it was AWESOME!
As you may know, I've listened to the KLA tapes dozens of times, and found that "listening" to you TALK about the DB principles made them sink into my head a lot deeper, much more so than just reading the words in your books.
However, after WATCHING even just the first tape, some of what you're saying has even more meaning! The way that the audience participates is especially great. They ask some great questions, things that I hadn't even thought of. Things that help to define the possibilities of DB'ing even more clearly, in common, everday, situations.
I'm anxiously looking forward to sending our young male child on a mission to help out his grandma tomorrow, so I can regain control of the TV, and watch the rest of the tapes!
From my experiences at home, I have been quite "enlightened" to how important the "medium is to the message" when it comes to how people learn best. While I'm pretty good at learning from reading, my wife is a "fiction reader", and has a hard time really absorbing ideas from the written word. Too much like reading a high school text book, I guess! She learns much better by "seeing things in action", more of a "hands-on" learner, which I think the videos are most excellent for! I'm sure that there are MANY others out there who are the same way.
I would suggest that you get these video tapes if you can. If you can't afford them at this time, try hitting up your local library, and see if you can request that they get them. The tapes would even be a great investment for whichever church you might be attending.
Read about Divorce Busting« Telephone Coaching here!
Michele; I swear that the more and more I watch DB, the more I see the errors that I have PERSONALLY made in my relationship with my Wife. I can now understand how she would think that I didn't show her that I cared about her. Of course it is a dual responsibility. And now that things are coming out more and more as to why we find ourselves in this position. And EVERYTHING is soooooo fixable.
I have found an actual MC who knows of you and applies your same theories in her approach to MC. Now it is just a matter of getting my W. to actually go to a session or two just to see what happens.
Do you have any ideas on how I might be able to accomplish this? Or even have her watch the DB videos? She seemed really interested when I told her that it only takes ONE person to make a relationship change into something much better. But I didn't go into it any further.
Thank you for your books and your videos. I am hoping that I can save my M before it is final in June. Again thank you.