Not trying to be negative or anything - but I get motion/sea sickness, bad. That's why I thought about Florida, because there is Sea World and so many other tourist/attraction places with dolphins - I could start in administration and work my way around
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
I think this thread is turning into a circus and my vote is really unimportant. Again - another suggestion, another roadblock - it goes on and on. I have wracked my brains trying to come up with ways to help you, TMW, but I don't seem to be making a difference. I have even mentioned your situation to my kids (2 are around your age) because I truly wanted to help.
Underdog wrote some great stuff and yes - she and I have raised disabled kids and there's nothing like that for bringing one back down to Earth. I hate hearing how bad it all is for you cause we all have bad, every one of us. I truly believe that everyone has stuff to deal with regardless of age.
Anyway, that's all I want to say today. I hate things that drain energy from us. I see so many things doing that to you and right now I feel that I'm draining myself in writing since it is unproductive. We'll see what happens in time. I want to hear about your positive changes, not pipe dreams.
Just wanted you all to know that things are getting through. I tried to think of ways that BF has added to my life, encouraged me, helped me towards...anything - I couldn't. I couldn't think of many reasons why I love him or he loves me.
I've been crying since about 10 pm last night
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
TMW: I know it hurts, but when you can admit this to yourself, you get REAL with yourself. The tears are healing. If you take some action now - it will be the best thing you ever did for yourself.
As much as I love Hawaii, I cannot vote that TMW moves there. I have lived there twice, most recently two years ago. Yes, there are tour boats-- and there is an ocean part. The jobs are not easy to come by (you have to know people) and the pay is low-- especially in comparison to the cost of living. A very very tiny/modest apartment would be at least $600, and that would not be in a very safe neighborhood. The cost of paradise is high. And they are cracking down on those who just live on the beach.
Now, this information about seasickness does put a major cramp in the reasonability of citing working with dolphins, as a dream. Honestly, dolphins live in the ocean. A wealthy tourist may be able to arrange to have dolphins herded up and brought to shore, but if seasickness is an issue, then working with dolphins is not realistic and should be taken off the "dream" list, and certainly should be ruled out as a reason to move somewhere.
TMW, divorce sucks. Most major life changes do. They are a call to grow up, and do what must be done. It's time for you to put on your big girl panties and deal with it. Time to take stock of where you are (not good), and where you want to be-- then chart a course from how to get from where you are, to where you want to be. Identifying a series of realistic, do-able steps-- then doing them. Whether they are fun or not, whether they are glamorous or not. That's what is required.
There is no prince charming to come save you. Each of us is responsible for saving ourselves. You've been offered some good advice here, but ultimately it is up to you to create what you want out of your life. It's your life, your choice. You can be a victem, with problems and reasons why things are not as you wish they were. Or you can "put on your big girls panties" and deal with your current situation, buckling down and making real and sustained changes in your life.
Let me just say that I don't really think she should move to Hawaii. However, her life is pretty open at the moment. She has the opportunity to reinvent herself, if she chooses to do so. For me, Hawaii is just a metaphor for starting her life in a new and exciting way. There are tons of options for her. I'm sure it's both exciting and scary.
Bottom line is this. It's time to decide the type of person she wants to be. Will she be proactive and take life by the horns and make it into something wonderful? Or, will she stand off to the side just watching the action?
