SG - as you get things together for D to go to college - got to Linens and Things and look for a Serasoft blanket. Absolutely the softest thing you have ever felt in your life - my D says it's like touching a kitten. I had to get one for S18 - I figured that would be a totally comforting thing to have if he's ever having a bad day.
My D is very into soft things and very tactile. She has her "blankie" that she hides in her pillowcase when she goes anywhere. She also has a super soft blanket that she may take with her, so thanks for the tip! I was reading your thread in "just for fun" and I saw some good tips there.
This week D is doing a different fun thing with each of her 3 good friends. They are spending the night at a different house each night, and each friend is hosting a different event. D took her friends on a 2 hour trail ride. One of the girls had never been on a horse before that. I think they had fun...but it was very hot that day...we have been experiencing temps in the 100's this week! I took the girls out to lunch, and then they just wanted to "chill" so we rented "Bride and Prejudice" the Bollywood version of Jane Austin. I took the girls to my computer lab and we watched it on my big screen with the LCD projector! It was fun. The girls were not familiar with the story, although I KNOW D has seen the Greer Garson and Laurence Olivier version...The girls did pick up on the name "Mr. Darcy" from the Bridget Jones movies.
I think we will rent the Colin Firth version and have a little education! Jane Austin is always good for young ladies!
D has been gone for 3 nights now and I reallly miss her. She did pop in a few times for a change of clothes, but that is about all.
Today S finishes his summer session, and he is off to road trip with friends to SF and then to Santa Cruz. My life as "a woman alone" is starting already!
It is a good thing I have so much homework to do! SG
Survival Goddess "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." -Alice Walker
I sent my H an e-mail yesterday asking him for some information so that we can move forward.
Quote:
I need for you to get that retirement stuff to me, hopefully by Thursday if possible. I would like to send it out on Friday before I leave town Saturday morning. If you have the information, just bring it to town Thursday when you come in to class. I can pick it up at your office if that makes it easier for you. Once we have the actuarials done we can continue with mediation.
The reason I said you were delusional is that you have continued to flaunt your "girlfriend" to me and to my children while at the same time telling me things like you are not ready for a divorce. Did you ever even consider how it must make D feel to have JAL toothbrushes and other obvious signs of "her" presence in your life while you continue to stall on giving me closure? It puts the kids in an awkward position of having to feel like they need to protect me when you expose them to your nefarious relationship with out even giving me the consideration and dignity of divorce.
His reply:
Quote: I will see if I can get those insurance forms or retirement forms or whatever. I never thought of what I am doing as stalling. I am trying to see clearly.
I am trying to see clearly. ?!?
WTH?!? I swear the guy is really, really lost and confused. I think I have moved from sadness to anger and back to sadness again. I wish I could remember the man I fell in love with and married...
sheesh.
I will talk to you all soon! SG
Survival Goddess "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." -Alice Walker
Hey SG! HOT enough for ya?? 101 yesterday, was 117 in Palm Springs I heard. egads, wheres the rain. ha ha
Sounds like your D is having a blast!! ohhh to be young again!! well that young! she has so much life ahead of her, dont you sometimes wish we could do it over again? well some of it?
Can relate to your woman alone life! my S although living here, is either at work or out w/ friends, they did midnight bowling last night, then out to eat, where does the energy come from?
Yup your H is def like mine, I say wth or worse! most every time I encounter him lately! hey but SG, come on now, He wants to see clearly now the rain has gone, he wants to see all obsticles in the way. haha, prob butchered that song!
Sounds like you are doing well SG, keep up the good work and thanks for your pat on the back on my thread!!
Love and summer hugs
** Karen **
** Be happy for this moment, this moment is your life **
Your post reminded me of a funny story re HOs. While X was pretending that 'I swear on our kid's life that I am not having an affair'...d and I both knew he was lying but weren't calling him on it, so he was thinking he had outfoxed us. Ho had sent him some refrigerator magnets of cats (she has two)and he had them on...his refrigerator. So D was visiting and she points to the magnets and says: ewwww dad, what are those tacky things doing on your fridge? And he sputtered for just a sec while he said: oh I just got them out of a cereal box!
These guys are in such a state of denial...and they believe their own stories. I wish I had confronted X, but I was under the delusion that 'a Ho is just a symptom and it lasts only a few months'. I now believe that calling your spouse on his(or her) adultery is the ONLY way to have any chance of his ending it. It seems they get off on 'pulling one over on the old ball and chain'. It is the 3 year old child in them that likes to feel they are putting one over on mom?
Glad you are getting financials while there is still good communication (well.....communication of sorts) between you. Keep trucking, girlfriend! gd
I agree wqith GD 100%. While I confronted STBX about his affair, he denied it. We BOTH knew he was lying yet I allowed him to remain in the house and live with us while acting "as if". All he ended up doing was getting angrier and angrier.
When they think they'll get away with that kind of behavior, they stop loving us. I wish I'd have kicked him out the day I found out. It may not have changed what ultimately happened, but I wouldn't have felt like such a damned fool for having put up with it.
I honestly think that by trying to keep our marriage and families together we actually help them to leave it. I agree, calling them on their adultery is the only way to have a chance at fixing your marriage.
You are doing so great! I'm glad you're getting the financials out of the way. Your H has to learn, like all the others, that yes, there are consequences. I bet once you're out of his life, he's going to really miss what he had. Might take a while, but I do firmly believe that's what happens to all of them.
We all gave our spouses way too many chances and look where it got us. Well, we are better off than them, aren't we? At least we know what we do want and don't want out of life. They'll be out there trying to figure it all out while life passes them by. Ironic, b/c that's the one thing they're all afraid of...life going by too fast and missing out on SOMETHING. When that something they're searching for was right in front of them all the time. Sad.
Anyway, you sound great, girlfriend! Take care of yourself!
time to pull myself up out of the basement. I just spent a week with my family, my sisters, nieces and mom. Chicago was HOT and MUGGY but it was good to see everyone. They are all being very supportive of me and my situation.
Still busy with school and whatnot, and it is late! Just wanted to say "HI" and I hope every one is keeping COOL!
SG
Survival Goddess "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." -Alice Walker
Well Hey SG! Glad you dragged yourself up from the basement! You certainly do not belong there!
Glad you had a good time in Chicago! Nothing like being w/ family to lift your spirits ( well to some degree ) Always wanted to visit Chicago- on my list.
Sounds like all is quiet on the ailen front, hope your summer is movin along, IS IT HOT ENOUGH FOR YA?? eesh, we have even had thunder/lightning storms, which is unheard of here!
Do not be a stranger SG, we'll miss ya
** Karen **
** Be happy for this moment, this moment is your life **
101 yesterday, was 117 in Palm Springs I heard. egads, wheres the rain. ha ha
At least we know what we do want and don't want out of life. They'll be out there trying to figure it all out while life passes them by. Ironic, b/c that's the one thing they're all afraid of...life going by too fast and missing out on SOMETHING. When that something they're searching for was right in front of them all the time. Sad.