CSW... I have been reading your thread and admire the way you're handling your stressful situation...I don't know what form it will take or when it will be, but there will eventually be a silver lining...stay strong, my friend.
This weekend is my birthday and H has been yanking my chain a bit, saying stupid stuff like we really don't need to do anything, that we are going away for a few days at the end of the month, tht we have to go to a wedding on Sun. so no need to do anything birthday related. It's been a long yr and I am really not in the mood for the teasing but hadn't said anything. I remembered something from the DVD...if you want something, don't complain, just request it, so I actively said to H that I wish he would say something nice about my b-day, that he wanted to take me out, instead of all this other junk, and he got it! He looked me in the eyes and said he wanted me to have a wonderful birthday. The words had the right feeling, and that's all I need.
Don't sulk, complain, brew or nag... just state what you want... he's not a mind reader ( gotta remember this one).
Planning to watch more of the tape tomorrow.
IHJ---who got a post from Michele...yaaaaayyy!!!!!!
IHJ, Thanks for the optimism. I have been trying that tact with W, calmly requesting NC. It seems to be having an effect on her, but I am not sure if it will be a good one. I think I will order the DVDs and watch them, with or without her. Perhaps if I am watching it, she will watch with me. I wish our 'brary had copies!
Maybe your H is planning a surprise for you, maybe that is why he was playing down the ocaission. You are setting a good example here, and the big boss has noticed!
You know, my library (which is one of the best in the nation) has surprisingly few MWD materials. Does anyone know how you go about requesting they purchase certain items? I seem to remember that you fill out a "request" and they may or may not fill it..
HP, In light of your R book burnout, why not donate your copies? That is the best way to get them in the collection. That is my plan when I am done with my collection (most anyway) My library has a request form of some sort, but funding is limited. I f your 'brary is so good, they may have the bucks for the books. Request, have your hubby request, & who knows? Luckily, my 'brary is part of a county wide system that includes a big city, so interlibrary loans are available for a ton of books, for $.50 a pop.
Ooh yeah, I forgot about that! I can do an interlibrary loan from da big city. Good idea, csw.
I actually only have a few copies of my own of R books. I check most of them out from the library. And the ones I have I want to keep, plus I wrote in em. I hardly ever buy books, even though I lurv to read, because we do not have the excess cash to spend on expanding our personal library. It is funny to look at our book collection now...it's sorta stunted at the age we were before kids and prior to me quitting my job. Lots of history books, etc. Nary a sign that we would soon be parents and have a collection of Mercer Mayer books displayed instead of our really cool Civil War ones. lol
Well, Journey, you have almost talked me into forking over the cash for the CD's. I think that H would watch with rapt attention. That is actually a fabulous idea. He can't stay awake for reading a R book, but he loves to watch or listen to CD's. Did you buy them off this website?
Hiya HP...it's a deal...and then you can pass it to csw, and on and on,lol.
Hoping to have time to watch it tonite....we really don't discuss it, but what I like is that H is eager to do it...there's none of that dread we both felt when we'd go off to MC.
IHJ, Don't forget the boss is reading... you are undercutting her sales!!! LOL
I splurged for a coaching session, and should have bought the cd's instead. I had a very good coaching experience, but it came at a time when I was not seeing the full picture of W's A, and a time when I felt much more hopeful. I don't regret the session, but it is more temporary and less tangible than a dvd.
HP, I have splurged on a number of books, before remembering the 'brary. We moved out of county, into the country, so I wrote off the 'brary as WAY too small. A friend pointed out that for a mere $30.00, I could get a card from our old county. Since then, I have checked out several dozen books! I will keep many that I bought, but I don't think I will need SSM anymore If I do, it will be at the 'brary!
Quote: IHJ, Don't forget the boss is reading... you are undercutting her sales!!! LOL
Lol csw. I believe the reason Michele is so successful is due to her genuine passion for saving marriages. She is sending out a great message, that no matter how screwed up your marriage is, you can re-set the program by learning skills that bring about closeness. The lesson I have learned is that "just being myself" has not been good enough to create a loving marriage...the changes I am making following this program don't feel threatening to my sense of self because the suggestions are so common sense. I just feel happier knowing I am being more positive. Michele's approach offers hope and optimism.
If I do, it will be at the 'brary!