Well, this is a sort of PG-rated board. What I went through with my ex really brought out a vocabulary in me that shall we say was rather colorful and descriptive?
When they lie, they honestly believe themselves. A lot of these guys are narcissitic. That is something I don't need in my life. I still get angry from time to time thinking about what my ex did, and I think the anger is directed at myself. Staying in that repetitive loop of theirs of denial and lies is really unhealthy. I want to kick myself in the arse for having believed my ex would finally "see" that he had a problem and would take care of it. Three years later, he still has a bad case of cranial-rectal inversion. Even though I have no contact with him, he contacts the kids. They tell me he just talks to himself or about himself when they're together... almost like there's a disconnect with him and reality and that the universe revolves around him.
You're doing all the right stuff. Just keep moving forward, working to keep this guy at a distance, and don't get roped into his lies, drama, and fantasy about himself!! They will end up either waking up or running further from their problems. They have to learn to deal with reality.
Yes, my mother actually get's shocked with the thing's that come out of my mouth. They sure do bring the vocab. .
I personally think my H is in big time denial. Maybe you are right and really never thought about it that way. H is narcissitic and truely believe's the crazy thing's that come's out of his mouth.
H acted as though we were GF and BF instead of H and W. H turned the whole bad sitch. around on me and I actually felt like a "stalker" as he love's to call me.
Quote: I want to kick myself in the arse for having believed my ex would finally "see" that he had a problem and would take care of it.
I still get angry over this and know for it's not healthy. But I do have my bad day's were I would like to put my hand's around his neck and strangle him. I would also love to tell H what's on my mind, but were would that get me.
Do you ever think the lie's ever catch up with them? I know I should not waste my energy on that, but it creep's up every so often.
Cranial-rectal inversion ya that seems to excatly the case here. . My H has and always has been the type to live in denial. So there went little me to deal with day to day stuff, so he did not have to.
H hate's prob. and has never been to good at dealing with them. H literally make's himself sick if presented with the reality of masses we have been in. I think mommy's boy (in a bad way) is the only way to describe him. He lived an extremely sheltered life and had his mom take care of all his prob. Who knows?
You know the funny thing about his JGG (OW) is she look's just like me in the face and has the same hairstyle. But she is tall and I'm short, she has nothing up top and I could donate to 5 OW. I kinda of find this funny in a way. Humm wonder what H was thinking?
Quote: They will end up either waking up or running further from their problems. They have to learn to deal with reality.
I wonder what will happen with him. I'm just happy the mothership decided to take him and not me . Well sometime's!!!!
There is nothing wrong with being angry. It's a way to know that something is wrong and you know that you need to fix something when you see that. The anger I experienced at times was explosive I think, but I never was one who held things in. But with my ex, I had to at times to "keep the family peace." He'd treat me one way in public, and a totally different way in private.
It helped me to learn how to meditate... to just accept those thoughts and to let them go without acting on them.
Sounds like he is a mommy's boy and like he's looking for some praise and admiration. Which of course, is being fed now. You become the "bad" guy. I certainly can empathize.
Keep working on yourself. LIke you, my ex's major domo OW (there were bimbos du jour along the way as well), is nothing like me. She's short, I'm tall. She's dark haired, I'm blonde (when I remember to cover the gray these days). She looks pretty beat from the drug use, I still get carded when I buy booze. My oldest daughter and I have been mistaken for sisters at times. I have boobs, OW is flatter than a 2X4. So in someways, maybe they are looking for something "new" and "exciting," like a kid in a toy store. You can't take it personally although it sure is hard not to. Keep taking inventory of yourself. Look at what you like about yourself, work on those things you feel may need some improvement.
Yeah... motherships. It does seem like a bad black and white Japanese sci-fi flick from the 50s doesn't it?
You hit the nail on the head with this one . I'm the same exact way, I don't hold anything in and Im extremely honest. I think that was one of the R problems. I was kinda of bossy to lol. I'm the type of person who does not like to p*ss around. If something needs done it's getting done now and the right way.
My H on the other hand would stuff everything done and not say a word. So I guess I know where the bomb come from. I am so layed back now, I don't even know how I got there. Not to much bothers me and my friends and family ask how can you be so calm. I guess it's learning for me to pick your battles wisely and let more slide off my back.
I'm looking the best I have since I got married. I kinda of let myself go after I was married. The last time H was here and I bent over, hum you should of seen that look lol.
I know H thought I would just crumble and die with out him. In fact he told me so. Well I guess I'm proving him wrong . But right now it's only for me and my self esteem.
Well today may be a bad and I may be forced to do something I really don't want to do. At midnight tonight, H will be in contempt of court if I do not receive my support check. So what should I do just wait awhile or call my Att.? She told me to call her if I did not receive it.
I'd say call her!! But then again, I wouldn't expect immediate action, either! Sounds like he's challenging the system to see how far he can push things. Heh... been there, done that too! My ex did all of these moves. You sure you didn't marry mine?
I don't know why this is, but it seems like some MLCers just love to push the limits. Compliance with agreements or rules just is something they can't understand.
Lord help you...........I really hope that this guy doesn't consistently push the limits for you. It really does little but to destroy faith in them.
Jade, I'd have the Atty's # on speed dial and handy at 12:01AM! Don't let him think he can do what he pleases in this case... He has no right to deny what is owed to you...
You're doing great! Keep up the changes and make him regret every minute of not being your H! Cap
I think Im going to call her first thing in the morning. I just don't want to be the B*tch in the sitch. But H is in the wrong, so I guess that's his problem.
Actually I think H has an complete idiot for a Att. I know after court I would of fired him. But I know if I was in H sitch I would of paid there and then.
Oh I do think the Stupid H is going to push me to the limit's. Because you know since all of his friend's are Att., I'm sure they are giving H advice LOL. Mind you they are under 23 years old.
Quote: I'd have the Atty's # on speed dial and handy at 12:01AM!
I wondered why I liked you!!!!!! You better believe first thing in the morning when she get's in we will be talking. Poor Att., Im prob. a pain in the a**. Oh well she is making a good amount on me.
Like I said before, H has plenty of legal advice from his friends . They are little kids LOL. I think H needs to deflate his head, H head and neck has to hurt.
