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A Message from Michele
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Re: wise---from JJ re: LRT --must read :) #42407
03/19/02 03:52 AM
03/19/02 03:52 AM
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,035
Memphis
Roland Offline
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Roland  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,035
Memphis
Haven't seen JJs wisdom on going dark. Point me there.
We aren't legally separated and haven't bothered to work out any formal visitation schedule. I bascially let her come and go as she pleases. She has been here every weekend but one since she left so she hasn't really 'missed' the kids enough to ask to see them w/o me there. We still get along quite well, go places together, sleep together (though that is winding down). I guess I am just waiting for her to come to her senses (my opinion).
Can she be trusted with them? Absolutely. She is not as loving a mother as I would like and is sometimes inattentive but she does love them.
A condition of her wanting this sep was that she goes and the kids stay. She agreed and said I was the better parent anyway. She is giving me the typical "I love you but not IN love with you" speech. We married when she was 19 so I understand where she is coming from. No oat sowing time. Patience right?


I took the road less traveled.....now where the heck am I?
Re: wise---from JJ re: LRT --must read :) #42408
03/20/02 05:20 AM
03/20/02 05:20 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 10,805
sgctxok Offline OP
Member
sgctxok  Offline OP
Member
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 10,805
That's what THIS thread is, Rodrigo(at the top).

[Big Grin] [Big Grin] [Big Grin]


sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
Re: wise---from JJ re: LRT --must read :) #42409
03/19/02 07:23 PM
03/19/02 07:23 PM
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 8,334
The GREAT Pacific Northwest
Jamesjohn Offline
Moderator
Jamesjohn  Offline
Moderator
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 8,334
The GREAT Pacific Northwest
SG & Fee - You ladies are making me blush! I'm really not that neat of a guy, kinda messy, but I DO clean up after myself on occasions! AND I also can do my share of dishes and laundry!!

I feel a lot of love on this thread! Time for a (((((group hug))))).

SG - I'm checking out that other thread now. Will give it some thought between my thinking about sex every 20 seconds!! [Smile] [Smile] [Smile]


JJ

Read about Divorce Busting« Telephone Coaching here!
Re: wise---from JJ re: LRT --must read :) #42410
03/19/02 07:30 PM
03/19/02 07:30 PM
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 56
West Virginia
wv_blueeyes Offline
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wv_blueeyes  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 56
West Virginia
this original post reminds me of the poem IF by Rudyard Kipling:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!


sumus quid sumus
Re: wise---from JJ re: LRT --must read :) #42411
03/19/02 07:54 PM
03/19/02 07:54 PM
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 342
Florida
PunkinsMom Offline
Member
PunkinsMom  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 342
Florida
WOW! This thread was just what I needed today! If you look at my post for today on my thread, this is the answer to my question! THANKS!!!!! I'm printing this one out.


Bomb Nov 01
PA w/OW (lied for 10 yrs)
Dumped OW/back home Nov 02
I became WAS:Feb 05
Reconciled:Oct 06
Current:Going strong, Still using DB techniques to KEEP it that way 10 years later!
Re: wise---from JJ re: LRT --must read :) #42412
03/20/02 03:55 AM
03/20/02 03:55 AM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 383
Cynda Offline
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Cynda  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 383
[Smile]

Re: wise---from JJ re: LRT --must read :) #42413
03/20/02 04:10 AM
03/20/02 04:10 AM
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,035
Memphis
Roland Offline
Member
Roland  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,035
Memphis
Duh! I'm kinda impatient so I have been jumping to the top of the last page of each thread so I missed the first JJ post. Excellent!

Drop by my thread and provide some input?

I don't feel I am at LR stage but think the LRT is just what I need to do right now. Only been hard at it for a couplke days. Eager [Razz] to see some results.

Watching 'Blind Date' God I hope I never have to date again, uggh!


I took the road less traveled.....now where the heck am I?
Re: wise---from JJ re: LRT --must read :) #42414
03/22/02 03:12 AM
03/22/02 03:12 AM
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,234
Phoenix Offline
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Phoenix  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,234
Another thing (can't remember if it's already been addressed) - Give your techniques a chance to succeed or fail!

Most of the time you won't know for a week, 3 weeks, 3 months, etc.

Just another reason why it's important to get your heart out of it as much as possible and use your head.

Blind date...that's an entertaining show.

Re: wise---from JJ re: LRT --must read :) #42415
03/26/02 03:12 AM
03/26/02 03:12 AM
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 4,511
SoCal
Committed2Him Offline
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Committed2Him  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 4,511
SoCal
^ If newbies could attain this mindset quickly, restoration could take place more quickly.

It should be called the First Resort Technique. C2H


Committed2Him- "C2H"
All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
Re: wise---from JJ re: LRT --must read :) #42416
03/26/02 03:24 AM
03/26/02 03:24 AM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 350
tscanlon Offline
Member
tscanlon  Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 350
C2H,
I gotta agree. I'm struggling with this, but have days that i really make it happen.
I feel better and my W has said that she is "growing more fond of me". This seems to happen when i'm really working on my self and finding i am in control of MY happiness.
Tim [Wink]

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