Deb, My oh my!! You go girl. I am extremly and I mean extremly proud and excited that things have gone as well as they have. I am sorry for not being around, I have taken a long break from the boards - I needed it. It truly sounds like you are on the road to recovery and it is only a matter of time. You made my night!! How long has he been back? mndad (In recovery myself )
But are you serious about this shirt thing? Come on, you be the bigger woman, the classy one. Gloating in her face may make you feel better for a sec, but do you really think that it will help matters?
As we love to say, will it get you any closer to your goal?
The answer of course is "no." Leave it be.
It is not your job to punish her, it sounds like she is self-punishing anyway, and you do not want to push her over the edge into a breakdown, or give her a reason to fight harder for H or make your lives any more miserable.
I wouldn't do the t-shirt either. Nor the flowers (your H does sound like he's trying - you don't want him thinking you have been running around on him).
The t-shirts would be hostile, and you should be happy now and not causing possible problems that might upset your H as well. Just think - she sees you plenty, and she KNOWS you are with him and not her. She is reminded of that every day.
Ha...goes back to my story about the bar w**** having to hear about me... Oh, sure I fantasized (a lot) about beating the crap out of her. But, as I said before--my revenge was sweeter. And H always made a point of being lovey dovey and kissing me or hugging me when she was around. (Okay, so I have a mean streak. I enjoyed every second of it.)
Who doesn't want to beat the crap out of the OW? I asked H what his ONS looked like. He said why? I said so I can identify her and then beat the s@!t out of her. He just laughed and so OK, she looks like this ....
Got a chuckle out of the shirt idea. I have my doubts that you will actually do it though....but it is fun to think about, isn't it? LOL
Okay, more importantly, STOP that damn backsliding! You are making it worse for both of you. Instead of the accusing words (and they do sound accusing) try something like, "man, oh man, all of the sudden I feel insecure H. Give me a minute and I will be fine." Then breathe and GET OVER IT. Chances are he will say something to help the situation. I mean it Deb...CUT IT OUT.
And yes, I can see that OW is a manipulative wh#re. She is probably eating ice cream like a fiend in order to get the desired effect. LOL There is likely more to come on that front. Prepare yourself and don't fall apart. You can do this.
Well dang, you all, if I have to be mature and level headed about this, can I at least have cheese-lovers pizza delivered to her house????? I hear she LOVES it! OK, I'll rethink the shirt, but it sounds like so much fun, and much kinder than choking her. I did get myself some flowers though, havent said a word to H about them.
I know you're right Dawn, I gotta keep the self-defeating backsliding down, and I will. I'm gonna refocus on the "good stuff", H really craves that, obviously. I did check out hotels here locally with whirlpool suites last night, so I know which ones are an option. I told H I'm planning his kidnapping, and he sounded kind of "tickled", and asked "where to?", told him I couldnt tell someone where I was kidnapping them to, and he said "well it kind makes a guy wonder", so I took that as a positive. H initiated ML last night and this morning, so I guess that is a sign that things are going well, we didnt talk last night about OW/A, which is ok, I'm just following his lead on that.
Hi MnDad, it's good to hear from you, I hadnt seen you around and wasnt sure If I'd just lost you somehow or if you were of the bb. I need to check things out on your thread!
You asked how long H has been back. He never actually moved out, never even moved into a separate bedroom, but we were sure miles apart emotionally. I would have to say it's been a slow emotional reconnection since about February. One teeny tiny creeping inching step at a time. Finally, I think We're about there!
Hi Deb - Threre are just so many parallels it never ceases to amaze me.
Quote: said he told her he has been telling me all about "everything" (havent heard and don't intend to hear details about sex) told her "I mean EVERYTHING" and he said that upset her, she didnt like it. H commented, "I guess I can understand that, it is personal, but it's not private any more". maybe that's part of what helps me to feel better when he talks about it. That and i see in his face that he is FINALLY being honest about it.
For NG too, telling me was a turning point, except the ship is still turning as he lets go in little dribs. And yes, it ticked off OW big time.
You are an amazing lady, Deb. Looking forward to reading up about your weekend. Slowly
)
I enjoyed every second of it.)