Yes, you need to pay a retainer fee for a L to make sure everything works for you. You have to live with the agreement and it takes a great deal of effort and time to rebuild. Don't go cheap on this.
I realize this may be the best $3000 I'll ever spend. I won't cheap out
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
I say 'babble' because her saying our son would be better off having his world shattered is ridiculous. The same as when she rewrites our history. Back when I thought we had a chance, I would have listened and validated. But I'm not going to give her that satisfaction now since all of our lives are upended because of her weekly subjective sense of 'happiness'.
My W said the same about my D11. She felt D11 would be better off with the divorce. I said no divorce unless something really bad is happening will be better for the kids. My daughter is now devastated. I’m happy as can be to not be living with W anymore and looking forward to meeting a lady that is a better match for me but my kids are suffering and it [censored]
The justification and excuses they come up with to make themselves feel better is amazing.
Seriously, has there ever been a psychological study on the walkaway wife? Husbands too. It has to be common enough for it to be classified as some sort of mental disorder
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
I feel stupid for even asking this, but when I get served and if everything looks good, do I need to pay a retainer fee for a L? Is it possible to just pay a L a few hundred dollars to look everything over?
Before you receive hers, draft up your own. That way you know what you want. Then you can have a lawyer look them both over and advise you.
Lawyers know the court rules and you don't. That is the biggest issue.
I have been playing with Chat-GPT. It is not a substitute for legal advise, but you can have it review things, draft up documents, etc.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
I feel stupid for even asking this, but when I get served and if everything looks good, do I need to pay a retainer fee for a L? Is it possible to just pay a L a few hundred dollars to look everything over?
Before you receive hers, draft up your own. That way you know what you want. Then you can have a lawyer look them both over and advise you.
Lawyers know the court rules and you don't. That is the biggest issue.
I have been playing with Chat-GPT. It is not a substitute for legal advise, but you can have it review things, draft up documents, etc.
I did draft up my own, at least a preliminary one. Regarding household items/assets, I started creating a list, but my God, the crap you accumulate after 17 years.
So is Chat GPT an app, website, etc? I googled it, but I really don't know what I'm looking for. lol
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
W has now changed all of her passwords (facebook, ipad, etc). Not that it matters now, as she's already filed. I just found it funny that when I transferred a few hundred dollars to my account, she immediately came home and tried explaining how she's not hiding money or anything from me. Then that night she changes all her passwords and has hidden all of her 'WTF is my Password' notebooks.
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
Yep, W is likely going to become highly secretive. Step off the roller coaster. Turn away from watching the upcoming train wreck. Focus upon you.
As to the business, watch the accounts. Watch the credit cards. Be prepared. Or better yet, cancel the joint credit card(s) and get your own.
In my case, cancelling the joint credit card required me to completely pay it off first. And we just had a family vacation six weeks before the big bomb drop and her announcing and moving out with OM. There was quite a balance on the card which was a bit problematic. Still, it needed to be done.
A long time poster, and good friend, her husband took his paramour on a vacation, put the tens of thousands of dollars in charges on their credit card, and expected her to pay for half of it. Well, she is a strong willed gal, and she blew apart that fantasy of his in pretty short order.
Your W has filed. Be business-like when dealing with her. Protect yourself.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
Yep, W is likely going to become highly secretive. Step off the roller coaster. Turn away from watching the upcoming train wreck. Focus upon you.
As to the business, watch the accounts. Watch the credit cards. Be prepared. Or better yet, cancel the joint credit card(s) and get your own.
In my case, cancelling the joint credit card required me to completely pay it off first. And we just had a family vacation six weeks before the big bomb drop and her announcing and moving out with OM. There was quite a balance on the card which was a bit problematic. Still, it needed to be done.
A long time poster, and good friend, her husband took his paramour on a vacation, put the tens of thousands of dollars in charges on their credit card, and expected her to pay for half of it. Well, she is a strong willed gal, and she blew apart that fantasy of his in pretty short order.
Your W has filed. Be business-like when dealing with her. Protect yourself.
D
It was $3000, not tens of thousands.
And my exact words were, "If you buy someone a cup of coffee and it costs a nickel, you're paying for all of it yourself. I do not pay for your extra curricular activities."
But he did have a secret credit card, and because it was in his name only I was not responsible for it. However, any card I had access to, even if I wasn't the primary, I had to pay half of.
Terapin, there are many ugly stories here. If so inclined, you can dig them up in the archives. My advice: don't do that. Spend your valuable time instead meeting with your own legal counsel to determine your rights and go from there.
I'm sorry you're in this position. Truly.
DnJ - please don't reference my history any longer. I'm working hard to leave the past in the past and dredging it up is not helpful to my present. Thanks.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
We don't have any credit cards. We consolidated everything into one loan. We also don't have more than a few hundred bucks in savings or joint checking accounts. I'm really not worrying about her emptying the accounts. There isn't much to take, and defaulting on bills will impact her as much as me. Damn, gotta go. be back!
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
