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Kind18 #2944766 04/03/23 02:53 PM
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I'd like to chime in about walkaways and MLCers wanting to return at some point. Not all of them will want to return. Why? Some will think that it is too difficult to return and be viewed by friends, co-workers and family members as cheaters and are waiting for the other shoe to drop, i.e., thinking that they will leave again.

You do have a few (50/50% chance) will make the difficult and hard decision to attempt to return to the spouse/partner that they have left. It may take a year or many years for them to work on themselves and come to realize that what they where looking for was right at the place they ran away from all of the time.

Some will apologize and others will want to sweep the entire saga under the rug and try to move on without discussing what transpired. It is always best to allow them to come to you, listen to what they have to say and keep your expectations at zero. If they do want to return, the old marriage is dead and a new one needs to be created which means, whatever changes that you made along the way must be permanent.

Ultimately, if your spouse/partner does come to you and hints at wanting to try again, you and only you can make the decision as to whether you want to try again. In many cases, they have been MIA too long and you, the lbs, have moved on.

You will know when you've had enough and make the decision as to what you want to do with your life and whether or not you want your spouse/partner back. Until then, continue working on yourself and moving forward.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
dunnm #2944847 04/07/23 06:46 PM
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Looks like you can add spiral and only bent to the list too.



Edit -you know we have 27,782 users on this forum - I would guess most of them have left - Cadet

Last edited by Cadet; 04/07/23 09:07 PM. Reason: comment

Me: 40
EX:37
Together 17 years
Married 16 years
5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11

BD 03/06/20, divorced 12/23/21
JosephS #2944853 04/07/23 09:22 PM
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Hey Cadet, not quite sure why you are taking this personally. Out of those 27000 members how many post and how many are bots? It’s not uncommon for me to find myself as the only person online anymore.

It’s undeniable there’s been turnover, and it’s undeniable the slack hasn’t been picked up.

The ongoing busting forum so far as been a complete bust.


I’ll be quite though, don’t wanna stir the pot, Im sure others have been banned for less.

Last edited by JosephS; 04/07/23 09:22 PM.

Me: 40
EX:37
Together 17 years
Married 16 years
5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11

BD 03/06/20, divorced 12/23/21
dunnm #2944855 04/08/23 07:27 AM
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WTF happened to War and Peace then

dunnm #2944856 04/08/23 07:46 AM
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Twice now, not sure whats wrong

dunnm #2944857 04/08/23 07:55 AM
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Job, Cadet, DnJ can I have a new thread? this is not where I am at?

dunnm #2944858 04/08/23 12:44 PM
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Good Morning dunnm

Yes you may start a new thread. I’ll not merge them, and lock this one.

D


Feelings are fleeting.
Be better, not bitter.
Love the person, forgive the sin.
DnJ #2944859 04/08/23 01:33 PM
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Do you just want this one linked to the new thread, merge them together or just let this one float to the bottom? We will do whatever you want us to do.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
JosephS #2944860 04/08/23 01:44 PM
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JosephS,

Many of those 27,782 users have left the forum. Some of the users date back to when this Board was created. Why have they left? Because they moved on with their lives, found new relationships or they no longer wanted to post. This happens on other forums as well. The user listing should be updated...but that's not something that the moderators would be involved in. As for Bots, I haven't found any in my searches for users. Have you found any? If so, let us know so that we can notify Headquarters of the situation.

Everyone is welcome to post on this Board. Posters should be mindful of what the mission of the Board is. It is the choice of the poster as to whether to stay or go at any time. We have a few that return every now and then give us updates on their lives and we welcome them back all of the time.

Last edited by job; 04/08/23 02:11 PM. Reason: added a sentence

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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