That answer is not a few words. I have been here since 2009 and read many books on the subject. I have read many stories here too. Been guided by many that came before me.(also Job who is really an expert)
So if you really want to learn about depression then start studying. Or take my word that I am right. I didn't believe either when I first arrived. Much time and experience later - I do believe.
Any books that you would recommend on this subject? What role does the marriage play in her state if she is indeed depressed? She was always such a fun person to be around and now people are stating that she is back to being her fun-self. I trust your experience, but I am curious to dig deeper. Not only because she is my wife, but I am generally interested as I have two other persons with depression in my circle and they trust me on being there for them. Thanks!
Heres the thing - the longer you wait the worse your deal usually becomes. So while I totally understand not doing anything (thats what I did) the more costly it becomes for you and the worse deal you will likely get.
Most states are 50/50 but I have seen it get even worse.
So it depends how you feel about that as to how fast you move.
Oh no, you need to find a lawyer asap. A separation agreement is action, and regardless of her action or inaction you need to protect yourself.
Don't tell her you aren't signing until a lawyer looks it over though. Just tell her you'll look it over when you have time, but you are booked rock solid for a little bit.
That's what I would do. You can protect yourself, and have her wondering what you are doing.
Me: 40 EX:37 Together 17 years Married 16 years 5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11
I live outside of USA. Over here, one side is enough to sign the separation agreement but she is insisting on me signing it as there are benefits for her. She wants to sell our house asap to get the money. I'll talk to a lawyer.
Cadet, you still think she is depressed?
I mean its totally unimaginable how you can go from wedding to doing such actions in a span of several months. I should have been a better partner, but I never emotionally, physically abuse her or anything like that... It's so strange. On the contrary, now I feel like being pushed into the corner.
Well if she is depressed then she was depressed when we got married. But why put all the blame just on me?
She is pushing so much...
I want to take it slowly. I read in the forum that if you stall or take it slowly the W might make a big issue of it. However, I want to stand firm to my position not to rush into this.
