I gain so much from your input and challenges gentlemen - and also of course bfly and marching. Taking a break from working out with S. Will post more later or maybe tomorrow.
As Nicky cruz said to David Wilkerson in the Cross and the Switchblade (look it up): “You’re getting through”
Had a great day looking after myself having some fun with S (well, training and trying to keep up with a fit young man half my age is a kind of fun) and connecting with my best friends. W reached out several times texting and calling and i let them go without responding.
Now that we are through the meat of the holidays and I’m liking a break from her I am fantasizing about having no contact with her. I don’t feel any compulsion to reach out or answer her or try to get her attention or find out how she’s doing. It’s a different feeling I’m having right now and it will change I know.
Great job on the GAL activities! Keep it up so that W takes up less and less of your head space.
I find that not knowing what my H is doing is great for my peace of mind. Not too long ago, I seriously considered staying in the same country as H, and now I am so excited to be very, very far away from him.
Yes planning too and steeling myself not to get sucked in to her black hole.I find the poles seem to switch on a dime sometimes where I become very repulsed by W. She has not been attractive to me this fall in how she has lived her life and treated me and yet during th3 holidays being around her a lot of emotions stirred in me and attraction happened occasionally not gonna lie particularly when I saw the old W appear but I have no reason to believe that’s for real so I need to move forward.
So Rock I think you need to understand that no contact is not a play to get your w back. It is very your well being. So these feelings don’t keep coming up.
The good news is after the holidays you are most likely going to know where you stand. Living with her mom is not sustainable long term. You are going to have to dig down deep for strength.
So Rock I think you need to understand that no contact is not a play to get your w back. It is very your well being. So these feelings don’t keep coming up.
The good news is after the holidays you are most likely going to know where you stand. Living with her mom is not sustainable long term. You are going to have to dig down deep for strength.
I agree about no contact, as the more I didnt respond to her texts, etc during the separation/divorce, it was easier each time with my Ex. My stomach didnt turn each day waiting for a text. With kids its a bit tougher, but the conversations need to be business..
So Rock I think you need to understand that no contact is not a play to get your w back. It is very your well being. So these feelings don’t keep coming up.
I agree about no contact, as the more I didnt respond to her texts, etc during the separation/divorce, it was easier each time with my Ex. My stomach didnt turn each day waiting for a text.
That's right. It's about your self-preservation and not getting riled up by the interactions for sure, but there's also a component of giving space and letting her miss you as well.
Originally Posted by Rockon
W reached out several times texting and calling and i let them go without responding.
So Rockon you've had a lot of updates recently about W reaching out lately. When she reached out several times texting and calling yesterday what was she contacting you about? E.g., is it her wanting the bed again, about the kids, asking to move back...etc?
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
Most of it was calling and not leaving a message (4 times), and then also W texted a funny meme, a hi and a text about youngest D that didn’t need a response.
So Rock I’ve been around for awhile and what I typically see is these posts by lbs that their spouses are reaching out because they want reassurance from posters it’s a good sign. I did it myself when I was posting my sitch. The truth is it means nothing. I am going to challenge you to stop posting “my W has been reaching out lately”.
So Rock I’ve been around for awhile and what I typically see is these posts by lbs that their spouses are reaching out because they want reassurance from posters it’s a good sign. I did it myself when I was posting my sitch. The truth is it means nothing. I am going to challenge you to stop posting “my W has been reaching out lately”.
Focus all your energy on your kids and yourself.
^^^^ 100%
Nothing has changed until she verbalizes that something has changed....
Most of those interactions are small touch and go's from her, to make sure you are right where she left you.
It isn't "pursuit" from her, it's fear and guilt from her. And it's coming out the only way that she has the ability to show it.
I would always kick GAL up a notch after those.
For now....look through the windshield, not the mirrors...
