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That is great to hear R2C, and I think you exemplify what continued growth and understanding in the process look like. I think back in the day I read DB and not DR.

Steve - very true. Alot is up to if the WAS wants to change their minds and how long the LB will accept being pushed to the side. Ironwill is an example of someone who fights long term.

In the end, part of it also was I the LBH fighting against accepting the reality. I think many have been there and many will be there in times to come.


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ILYBNILWY 9/19
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Lost one of our dogs this morning. Nearly 12 year-old giant breed. Best and smartest dog we ever owned. So hard to process the grief over a pet sometimes. She was so sweet, a gentle giant. We miss her so much.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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Sorry SteveLW. That's tough.


Me:39 Ex-W:37
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I'm sorry to hear it Steve. Many pets, and it sounds like your girl included, touch our hearts in some of the same pure way our children do and the grieving felt after their suffering is over reflects that. The purity and innocence but also the companionship and security different from a human-human relationship is one you'll remember. We are blessed to have experienced their lives, hearts and the joys they bring, and to know you and the family brought them the same during their journey. Seeing how you help others here, I imagine you gave her one very enjoyable time on earth.


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Thanks guys. We've lost several dogs over the years. This one stung a bit more only because of the awesomeness of this particular dog. But yes, they are such a blessing! The enrichment she added to our lives far outweighs the heart ache of saying goodbye.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
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Sorry brother. Can't beat the unconditional love of dogs.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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Found this diagram, but since we can't share or link I will just type it out here.

It shows the outline of a human head, what's inside the outline of the head is what is in my control, what is outside of the head in a circle around the head are things out of my control.

Things in my control:

My boundaries
My thoughts & actions
The goals I set
What I give my energy to
How I speak to myself
How I handle challenges

Out of my control:

The past
The future
The actions of others
The opinions of others
What happens around me
What other people think of me
The outcome of my efforts
How others take care of themselves

Felt this was a good list, so I am sharing it here in my thread.

Last edited by SteveLW; 12/22/22 03:29 PM.

M(53), W(54),D(19)
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5 years ago today I had to D bomb dropped on me. Hard to believe it has been 5 years. Time is fleeting.

I wanted to take the opportunity to thank this board again for the help you provided me 5 years ago. While I didn't find the board until early February or 2018, I remembered DBing from my previous situation in the fall of 2005. I immediately tried to start implementing MWD's advice in my situation.

But when I found the board, the advice here was unbelievable. It helped me so much. I won't mention names in the effort of not forgetting anyone. But would like to shout out to sandi. I know she hasn't posted in a while; I like to think she is writing that book that so many of us encouraged her to write! And she doesn't have time to post at the moment. I sure miss her and a lot of the newbies that have found the board could use her sage advice.

Also, shout out to job and Cadet.

Anyway, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and happy holidays if you celebrate others.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
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Originally Posted by SteveLW
5 years ago today I had to D bomb dropped on me. Hard to believe it has been 5 years. Time is fleeting.



Anyway, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and happy holidays if you celebrate others.


Merry Christmas to you and yours Steve....

Hope all is well....

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Merry Christmas to you dear friend.

Merry Christmas to all of you.

This place lights my road everday. Thank you all for that light.
Thank you.

We miss you Sandi. Your wisdom lives within us.


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Saw the light in the storm
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