Action 4

[Kind18]

Interesting evening tonight. D put on an art show and it was wonderful! She was amazing. I took her early and then went back and got S after he was off work and he and I went together. D had quite a crowd of loved ones/fans attend. Members of my family were there. Several of Ds friends also came out and W and her mom came as well. I was reserved around W but not cold or unkind and I mingled with everyone and kept the focus on Ds night. S is still very much at odds with W and he kept a pretty wide berth from her. W interacted in a friendly fashion with Ds friends and my family and seemed to really enjoy the night. D made a point to engage with both W and I in a special way. Once the concert was over and I had a chance to hug D (she was going out with friends after), S and I made our exit to get on with our night. W called me later and I didn’t respond. I was ok with how I handled myself tonight. D just got home and came in to say good night and that she was happy, I told her I loved her show.

You did good, young grasshopper 😁

Not answering W’s call - excellent.

Well done.

[Rockon]

Yeah I really don’t think she did notice me noticing her. I just happened to see she was watching and then I got back into focusing on the conversation at hand.

[Rockon]

It really does feel great. I felt my emotions getting tugged at 48 hrs prior when I needed to talk with W about S’s stuff. She showed great interest in my out of country trip and called me terms of endearment and I ended up cutting it short “gotta go”. I got off the phone had a little cry to be honest and regrouped.

[Rockon]

LH: I am fighting some instincts. She is throwing out lots of hints that I am resisting reading anything into. She is calling, video calling, texting at all hours and by the way she looked really hot last night. I am staying on track and focused. I’m not being unkind but I got places to be and things to do. MIL complimented me on my clothing and appearance in front of W last night and I said thanks, asked about MIL’s day and went over and talked to Ds boyfriend for a while.

I am noticing W’s overtures but resisting any interpretation or getting towed behind the boat.

[Ready2Change]

I am fighting some instincts. She is throwing out lots of hints that I am resisting reading anything into. She is calling, video calling, texting at all hours and by the way she looked really hot last night. I am staying on track and focused. I’m not being unkind but I got places to be and things to do. MIL complimented me on my clothing and appearance in front of W last night and I said thanks, asked about MIL’s day and went over and talked to Ds boyfriend for a while. I am noticing W’s overtures but resisting any interpretation or getting towed behind the boat.

The key is for you not to pursue her. Let her pursue you.

And have fun doing it.

[Ready2Change]

Will check those videos out. I have been cooking a lot - making good salads and fish - grilled a lot but would like to expand my repertoire and skill set.

I just made butter from heavy whipping cream and also clarified 2lbs of store butter. Both very simple by following his instructions!

[LH19]

LH: I am fighting some instincts. She is throwing out lots of hints that I am resisting reading anything into. She is calling, video calling, texting at all hours and by the way she looked really hot last night. I am staying on track and focused. I’m not being unkind but I got places to be and things to do. MIL complimented me on my clothing and appearance in front of W last night and I said thanks, asked about MIL’s day and went over and talked to Ds boyfriend for a while.

I am noticing W’s overtures but resisting any interpretation or getting towed behind the boat.

This is a difficult time for a LBS and when they typically slip up. They are so desperate for the signs and positive interactions that they bite and the clock starts all over again. The goal is to keep moving forward, keep GAL until at some point you say “you know what this BS doesn’t work for me anymore”. That’s when your situation will flip because she we feel it. WWs have a six sense about knowing when the LBS is done. That’s when the real decisions are made. I see lots of improvements here. Don’t worry about ignoring her it needs to be done.

[Rockon]

I was watching him on YouTube- inspiring. And mouthwatering.

[Rockon]

Yes I am working on it. Not initiating, looking after me and my side of the street not asking about her not reaching out to MIL. Not answering her call. I even Changed the name on her contact on my phone to don’t call for awhile. A friend suggested I lock my phone in my safe for awhile - I didn’t do that.

If she texts without a question or something needing a response I don’t respond and if it does I try to employ the 24-48 hr rule. Work in progress

[BL42]

Rockon,

I even Changed the name on her contact on my phone to don’t call for awhile.

I changed my now Ex's contact info to "STBXW" in my phone during the divorce process, including a picture change. It now reads "ExW". Though now that the kids are getting a bit older I have started to think of what they will think if they see my phone w/that contact info. There are about 3 dozen texts from her in the last 6 months with only 1 response (critical/time-sensitive item).

A friend suggested I lock my phone in my safe for awhile - I didn’t do that.

Seems extreme. You do need your phone for other things after all. If you truly needed to lock it in a safe to avoid reaching out I'd say you need to work on your mental strength.

If she texts without a question or something needing a response I don’t respond and if it does I try to employ the 24-48 hr rule. Work in progress

What is the current situation? Sounds like you're in a bit of limbo. Your W's still living with your inlaws? Sounds like she's reaching out a good bit. It's she making any mention of her next steps (whether that be R or D)?