So long as you think you can handle this casual relationship, go ahead. Honestly I don’t know how you’ve survived such long stretches without sex at your age do go ahead and get some if that’s what you want. But also be careful of becoming what my friend calls “needless and wantless”. It’s okay to want things in a relationship and to express that.
You said something very key. I have a tendency to become wantless and needless in a relationship/ situationships, whatever it is. That’s where I become not true to myself. From past experiences I feel like having wants and needs is being “being needy” but it really isn’t. As long as it’s reasonable having wants and needs and expressing them is a healthy true to your self thing
My middle son sent me a link to a song yesterday. It's really catchy - but also might be a song you could relate to right now. Casual by Chappell Roan. (Warning - NSFW)
So, here we are again in the holiday season. I feel the SAD kicking in. A big part is the lack of family and sharing my kid. I’m working Christmas and I was asked to work Christmas Eve and I said yes. I just have no one to be with. D will be with her dad. I do have friends, but no one really knows or asks if I’ll be alone. I think it’s often assumed around the holidays that people have someone . So by working, I basically give myself an excuse to be alone. Pathetic, I know. Every year I pray it will be different, but it never is. Well, one year it was. And it was really nice. I was on cloud 9. It’s hard being an only child with no spouse and not much family. It is what it is I guess. The holidays will come and go.
Work is ok. I’m awful, but my new counterpart drives me nuts. She means well, but she always has something to prove, everything turns into a story about herself and she is constantly talking over people. I just sit quietly. I am having dinner tonight with my friend,the social worker I worked with for years and we grew super close. I can’t wait to catch up.
House problems abound. Got mice, can’t take it, finally hired someone. He was the kindest guy. His 13 year old son works with him . They came last night and planted the bait. Next is getting a new door I had to kick in for D’s room.
I also don’t know if my situation with hockey guy is working for me. Sometimes it feels good, sometimes it doesn’t . Don’t need to make any decisions now though.
I just have no one to be with. D will be with her dad. I do have friends, but no one really knows or asks if I’ll be alone. I think it’s often assumed around the holidays that people have someone . So by working, I basically give myself an excuse to be alone. Pathetic, I know. Every year I pray it will be different, but it never is. Well, one year it was. And it was really nice. I was on cloud 9. It’s hard being an only child with no spouse and not much family. It is what it is I guess. The holidays will come and go.
I've been a single dad separated from family for over a decade and never spent a Thanksgiving or Christmas alone. E.g., last Christmas Eve I didn't pray that I wouldn't be alone nor wait for someone to ask if I'd be alone. I told a dozen friends/acquaintances that I was solo and invited them over if they were free to share a meal. 5-7 who were also solo came. It was a wonderful evening. I'm planning to firm up my holiday plans tonight to ensure similar success this year. If being with friends on the holidays doesn't work for you, that's fine, but a reminder accompanying prayer with action works well.
Traveler, your holiday last year sounds great. I was already committed to work on Christmas and having people over wouldn’t even be feasible.y friends all have families and plans already. It’s OK . My dog will be there
First of all, you do see how you became "needless and wantless" around the holiday issue, right? Don't do that next year. I understand how it is in healthcare, but just work either Xmas Eve or Xmas, not both, okay?
Second - it's not too late to plan a holiday get together on another day. My mom used to do "Grandma's Xmas" a week before or a few days after Xmas, as her adult children and grandkids were all busy with their own families on the day of. And a guy I knew through my BFF used to throw a big party every year on Xmas day evening. He called it "The Loser's Xmas" and held it for something like 30 years. All his friends and acquaintances who didn't have someplace to be on Xmas came. I went with her the first Xmas that I didn't have my kids with me (after my Xmas Eve second date with Spa Guy) and it was a fantastic gathering. My sister has a big gingerbread house making party every year before Xmas and all her friends love it. Throw a potluck Xmas party sometime before Xmas (to save yourself some of the work and expense) and invite lots of people. You're not the only one who is lonely around the holidays.
As for the SAD - make sure your vitamin D levels are good (this plays a huge role) and get a light box if you don't already have one.
