building a gym in my basement - though I need to use it more building a pandemic era vegetable plot in my back yard changing attitude going dark with WW - no communication unless necessary and only using a calendar app on phone doing more with the kids starting graduate degree to eventually become a teacher
If the WW was of previously good character and had good morals, is it more likely that they will come back at some point?
No telling. This is why I hate the term "Midlife Crisis". It could be a permanent change. Or it could be a change that last so long it doesn't matter if eventually she will come back because the LBH as already moved forward past ever being open to an R with her again. Lots of WWs never change back into who they were before. I do think, and have stated, that there is a high likelihood, if they live long enough, that they will regret their choice enough to want to try to fix it and get back with the LBH, but the LBH should not ever count on that occurring during their lifetime. I have known a handful of WASs that after their LBS passed away years later have lamented the fact that they ever left their marriage. But of course, by then it is too late.
All I can say is move your life forward, and if you ever come to that bridge you can decide whether or not to cross it then.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Last year I built a 20 * 16 enclosure with individual veggie plots. It was a pandemic project since I worked remotely and didn't get much chance to go out.
I used to have a greenhouse at the bottom of the yard but it always flooded when it rained so I decided to start over.
If the WW was of previously good character and had good morals, is it more likely that they will come back at some point?
No telling. This is why I hate the term "Midlife Crisis". It could be a permanent change. Or it could be a change that last so long it doesn't matter if eventually she will come back because the LBH as already moved forward past ever being open to an R with her again. Lots of WWs never change back into who they were before. I do think, and have stated, that there is a high likelihood, if they live long enough, that they will regret their choice enough to want to try to fix it and get back with the LBH, but the LBH should not ever count on that occurring during their lifetime. I have known a handful of WASs that after their LBS passed away years later have lamented the fact that they ever left their marriage. But of course, by then it is too late.
All I can say is move your life forward, and if you ever come to that bridge you can decide whether or not to cross it then.
Interesting - we're both the same age - mid 40s. I suppose she's at the age where she's almost about to go through menopause.
There is still the same defiance and bad attitude that wasn't previously there prior to all this. She was raised with Christian principles.
A friend of hers encouraged her to ask me for an open marriage. I said no. But this friend was also cheating on her husband with a married man of four kids.
She divorced her husband, sold the home to buy him out and moved elsewhere. It was her who told my then wife "it's not cheating if you tell him you're separated."
Last year, my ex wife invited her to my daughter's sweet 16 and lo and behold, she turned up with her exhusband who is now back with her.
My relative told me that my ex WW is now the only member of the "leave your husband behind club."
A friend of hers encouraged her to ask me for an open marriage. I said no. But this friend was also cheating on her husband with a married man of four kids.
She divorced her husband, sold the home to buy him out and moved elsewhere. It was her who told my then wife "it's not cheating if you tell him you're separated."
Last year, my ex wife invited her to my daughter's sweet 16 and lo and behold, she turned up with her exhusband who is now back with her.
My relative told me that my ex WW is now the only member of the "leave your husband behind club."
Very common tale. Both with a friend doing the same thing informing the WW to do similar. And then an ex-WW going back to a husband after having destroyed lives or helping others to destroy lives. Which is why we tell LBSs that you cannot control others so focus on yourself.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
The L is contacting STBXW because her view of financial settlement isn't realistic. I've a month of back on forth on stupid nuances of Family Law. It shut her up.
With the upcoming Parenting Plan, she's angry at so many things. At the request of the mediator we emailed family statements, and I called her out that "sharing common rituals" is not on the table; we are separated. Of course I get the response that "I don't want that either, shared birthdays only under duress, after you accused me of DV, I struggle to see our shared humanity."
After Parenting Plan, I'm out of the house. I've been repeatedly told that it doesn't affect any sort of rights.
