Truthfully people like CW you would spot a mile away because they come on so strong and that would make you feel uncomfortable.
Not gonna lie finding a man that gives you the tingles and is interested in a committed relationship won’t be easy. I think Ginger will can attest to that.
Patience is the name of the game BF you have to have it in this business.
Clearly this woman who was dating T did not have the same definition /criteria for ILU since she said it after only 6 weeks. So I doubt she’s going to be as broken-hearted as you think. That’s infatuation not love.
Clearly this woman who was dating T did not have the same definition /criteria for ILU since she said it after only 6 weeks. So I doubt she’s going to be as broken-hearted as you think.
Yes, especially since while I journaled about breaking up, she's the one who decided to move hours away, effectively ending the relationship. Ladies don't feel like you're coming on "too strong" when they say things first, nor do they feel betrayed when they break up first. LH noted back in my thread I was lucky. I pause before big decisions and often that works out well.
Because you feel love for that person? That doesn’t mean you’re committed to working it out if that person turns out to not be what you thought, or if other issues arise while dating that mean the relationship is no longer right for the two if you. Y’all are treating it like a proposal or something. Or like the climactic moment in a Lifetime romance movie.
I guess the warning for those of you who DO think it’s like a Lifetime romance movie is, many (I would say most) people over the age of 35 can understand there’s a difference between infatuation - which is fun - and real love, which takes time to build. So pay more attention to the actions not the words.
Because you feel love for that person? That doesn’t mean you’re committed to working it out if that person turns out to not be what you thought, or if other issues arise while dating that mean the relationship is no longer right for the two if you. Y’all are treating it like a proposal or something. Or like the climactic moment in a Lifetime romance movie.
Because for some of us, saying I love you implies commitment. You clearly don’t feel that way, kml, and that is fine, but it is also fine for of us who do feel that way to feel that way. Our OPINIONS do not make us right or make us an authority on anything. I personally think CW and K said it too early but I’m not in that relationship so if they felt comfortable saying it, more power to them. When I say it, I’m professing my commitment to someone and I don’t say it lightly. Some obviously do and I say the onus is on the individual to be sure they are accurately communicating what it means to them.
Several have thrown out timelines and, forgive me if I misunderstood, kml, but I interpreted your comments as your saying that ILY are just words until 2ish years in then you really know someone and are committed. (Again, if I misunderstood what you said, kml, my apologies, as I’m not trying to be argumentative or put words in your mouth, so to speak.) I contend that everyone is on their own timeline and it is important that people communicate openly and honestly with their partner. For me and Sparky, our timeline was about 6 months to ILY, started talking about marriage around 10 months, got engaged at 11 months, then married a year after our engagement. Too fast? Some here would say yes, others would say no. It was worked for us and that is what matters.
Same with CW and K. Whatever works for them. In my opinion (WHICH DOES NOT MAKE ME RIGHT) there is a disconnect in there. Not one person said they shouldn’t break up. What most of us said was CW should be more empathetic when it comes to the financial stuff because he had his own issues for which he expected empathy and he had other admittedly really awful choices in the weekend fiasco. Kml, you keep insisting we are all telling him to stay with her when literally no one said that. It’s all moot now since they have worked it out. I again credit CW for continuing to come here and take what people say and try to digest while also trying to stay true to himself. Again, that’s my opinion that some may or may not share.
What it all boils down to, in my opinion, as I have said here MANY times, is that everyone had their own timelines and experiences and they have to rely on those because the information that we are receiving from posts is only a little sliver of ALL the conversations, interactions, feelings, etc.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
I guess the warning for those of you who DO think it’s like a Lifetime romance movie is, many (I would say most) people over the age of 35 can understand there’s a difference between infatuation - which is fun - and real love, which takes time to build. So pay more attention to the actions not the words.
That’s a little insulting to my intelligence, kml. Just because ILY implies commitment TO ME doesn’t mean that I’m unaware of the difference between infatuation and real love. I don’t think love is like a romantic movie. It can be, but it is also painful, messy, difficult. I’m a grown @$$ woman and I know the difference and if I say ILY means something to me then that is my business. The one thing you said I actually agree with is real love takes time to build. Absolutely it does! But that time frame is different for everyone.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Clearly this woman who was dating T did not have the same definition /criteria for ILU since she said it after only 6 weeks. So I doubt she’s going to be as broken-hearted as you think.
Yes, especially since while I journaled about breaking up, she's the one who decided to move hours away, effectively ending the relationship. Ladies don't feel like you're coming on "too strong" when they say things first, nor do they feel betrayed when they break up first. LH noted back in my thread I was lucky. I pause before big decisions and often that works out well.
Yeah I thought you were luck finding a girl who puts up with your needy behavior. Apparently you don’t agree so that is that.
