recently I was invited to the first post-D party where both me and XW are invited and hosts have really been keen on me being there
My XGF had a simple rule--she wouldn't attend social occasions where her XH was invited. As a result, her in-laws invited her to some holidays and him to other holidays. She doesn't want to hang out with him. Simple enough. She's implemented the same policy with our close friends and us. If they have a house party, they either invite her or they invite me.
I only attend social occasions with my XW for the kids, and my focus is on the kids.
Alas, one of my jobs is to host certain large events, and as a result, I can't get out of seeing my XGFs if they choose to attend. It's an awkward 2-3 minutes saying hello and then I move on to other people.
Holy cr*p. I heard this exact line too! She said I'd come over and she'd make dinner for me and the kids.
My brother is best friends with his XW. They do exactly that--Brother + Brother's GF have dinners, vacations, and shared businesses with Brother's XW + Brother's XW's Husband.
I've always envied him that! Upon BD, he wouldn't have imagined!
He managed to work through his anger within 2yrs.
I prefer firmer boundaries with my XW. The cause and process of divorce may say something about each others' suitability as future friends--did we try therapy and find an inherent incompatibility, or did one of us cheat? Do we feel residual attraction, or are we both happier with other fish in the sea?
Last edited by job; 04/29/2206:40 PM. Reason: added link to new thread
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
