It’s been crazy last 10 days with holidays. First one I spent by myself little lonely but then went out the state, was totally unplanned to help out a friend. It gave me an opportunity to get out the house which was great but I did miss my kid a lot.
1. I have learned (from my L) that my eX doesn’t want her dog to live with her. WTF really this pooch was a life of her life, BFF, he slept with her, eat out the same plate they were best friends for 9 years - now she doesn’t want him because I got it for her… really? She lives in single house - she can have pets there (her older brother bought the house for her to live in)
Ran into a buddy at the store who is in eXs Circle…… 2. eX commented that that my NC just pushed her into the loving arms of OM. She wasn’t getting much attention/love from me before so it’s “ Typical me - an a$$hole came through” nothing changed
3. eX and OM are in some kind of “counseling with relationship couch” wow they both investing that much into this relationship. Buddy said that OM insisted….
4. eX changed her religion, LOL 😂 she doesn’t believe in God, she is atheist…. You would never believe this but she went to Church with OM for Ester service and prepped food to get it blessed.
Amazing, I am speechless…. I think all this is first for DB community.
Actually it’s all pretty common around here. Nothing unusual about your sitch at all. As for the NC comment it’s all BS she is slinging to anyone who will listen.
LH - some people she got really close with and you are right on the money, the ones that would listen to her maybe even approve what she is doing. Our mutual friend was in town and met up with eX last week, friend called me when she got home to tell me that eX is so bitter at me that she is “scared to ask what did I do to cause such pain and ultimately D” they no longer will talk because friend stood up for me I guess the only one.
Kml- there was no dance, I was super attentive and loving for the first 7-9 days, it did not work only made it worth, she was iced cold and wanted me to get her things in the middle of the night from the store, get her lunch at work. Then I learned about the OM. I did not confront her about it but implied couple times that I know about OM and then lies came. Pretty much that when NC started….
They hate it when we’re not waiting to be their Plan B in case it doesn’t work out with their affair partner.
She is rushing with a divorce like there is no tomorrow, everyday I Hear about it to speed up thing with my L. I really doubt that there is a plan B anywhere. Lol 😂 she is playing roulette everything on ZERO. Things she does make no sense….. it might sound strange but I feel like I am dealing with an angry kid or a drug addicted.
I am working on myself… anybody have a link to PIES examples or discussion? Ty
It’s been crazy last 10 days with holidays. First one I spent by myself little lonely but then went out the state, was totally unplanned to help out a friend. It gave me an opportunity to get out the house which was great but I did miss my kid a lot.
Sorry for the loneliness. I completely understand missing your kids, especially on the holidays. It's great you visited a friend to socialize and get your mind off it. Keep that up. Better to be with your friends and family and doing activities than by yourself.
Originally Posted by Jq25
1. I have learned (from my L) that my eX doesn’t want her dog to live with her. WTF really this pooch was a life of her life, BFF, he slept with her, eat out the same plate they were best friends for 9 years - now she doesn’t want him because I got it for her… really? She lives in single house - she can have pets there (her older brother bought the house for her to live in)
I'm with kml maybe OM doesn't like the dog. It's also likely she's trying to find happiness and changing a whole lot of things about her and her life to find it. Don't be surprised if she changes a lot more about herself (as you mention in #4). Do your best not to spend time trying to figure out her changes, but instead focus on what's best for your life going forward. For example, if she doesn't want the dog...do you? If so, take her up on the offer and keep it. If not, tell your L it's her dog and let her figure out how to handle it. Worry less about what she wants and her changes and more about what you want.
Originally Posted by Jq25
2. eX commented that that my NC just pushed her into the loving arms of OM. She wasn’t getting much attention/love from me before so it’s “ Typical me - an a$$hole came through” nothing changed
That's BS. Don't spend your time thinking about it. If you didn't go NC and were trying to reach out she'd tell your friend you were smothering her. Doesn't matter what you do; there's no way you can win right now.
Originally Posted by Jq25
3. eX and OM are in some kind of “counseling with relationship couch” wow they both investing that much into this relationship. Buddy said that OM insisted….
What does this mean? Are they in couples counseling already? That was fast.
Originally Posted by Jq25
4. eX changed her religion, LOL 😂 she doesn’t believe in God, she is atheist…. You would never believe this but she went to Church with OM for Ester service and prepped food to get it blessed.
See my answer to #2. She's going to change a lot and do bizarre things; do your best to focus yourself.
Originally Posted by Jq25
Amazing, I am speechless…. I think all this is first for DB community.
Trust us, none of this is a first. Everything you've written you'll see in many other threads here.
Originally Posted by Jq25
friend called me when she got home to tell me that eX is so bitter at me that she is “scared to ask what did I do to cause such pain and ultimately D” they no longer will talk because friend stood up for me I guess the only one
You'd have to be pretty bad to justify her affair and the D, wouldn't you. Her actions are causing her pain and she's projecting that bitterness onto you. Don't pay it mind. Just focus on improving yourself and your life.
Last edited by BL42; 04/23/2208:31 PM.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
Jq, better days are ahead. But you're not going to get there worrying about her reasons for not wanting a pet, her current relationship status, and her religious beliefs. Cheeseless tunnels all.
What is Jq doing to GAL? What is Jq doing to self improve? Are you working on detachment? Next time you run into a mutual friend, why not just stop any discussion about STBXW by simply stating, "I'm not interested in what she is saying and doing." and then changing the subject?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Steve - I am doing my best to GAL when I can I go out, sometimes just go by myself. I gave up alcohol and smoking. 99% of “couples” friends try not to associate with me. Going to the gym is one of my GALs and spending time with a kid - that’s my #1 priority. I do my best not to involve with what she is doing. Only handful of people know about her A, couple mutual friends between eX and OM. Most of our friends think that she left me because I am alcoholic and a horrible husband.
I am working on detachment, trying to figure out the whole emotional validation too. Living my life and we will see in the future how it’s going to be,
