Glad your d is enjoying her vacation and sharing her time with you.
(((G)))) not really sure what to say, but big hugs, prayers, positive vibes. Hang in there!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
If I understand correctly, he had a preference for kids and you told him "no", but the preference wasn't so strong and he wanted another date and to get to know you better.
D went to sea world yesterday and dad bought the opportunity for the both of them to swim with the beluga whales. She loved it. She’s having a really nice time. I am glad she gets these experiences. I’m a little salty I can’t be the one to give them to her, but this is the way it is. I for sure miss her and I look forward to her coming home. I’m glad she wants to include me through pictures and FaceTime. The house is quiet though. I talk to the dog a lot, lol. We go for a walk every day the weather permits and today is gorgeous.
As far as this guy. He ideally wants a family. Accepts that might not be in the cards at his age. When he said he was open to not having kids, he said “so, does that go in reverse for you? You would be open to kids?” I said absolutely not. I told him I loved raising my daughter, I wanted more kids but it didn’t happen, and I got the privilege of loving my exBF’s kid, but I am 100000% percent done.
Sure, he wants to get to know me better. I’m pretty sure until the opportunity comes along where someone who wants and can have a family with him comes along. Will there be a second date? Who knows. He told me he wanted one, where he would take me as well, but hasn’t asked. We exchange a text or 2 day, but he is a poor text communicator .
Am I attracted? I haven’t been attracted to anyone since the one guy I went on 5 dates with. We quite a chemistry. He was 5’7 with a dad bod and not someone you see and say “that guy is hot!” But to me, he was. The phenomenons were there and he’s the best kisser ever.
Anyways. I can’t attracted to anyone. This guy was better in the looks department than the others, but eh. No one can get my engines revving anymore. I don’t know what has happened to me. I swear, a part of me is dead and it would take someone super special to it back.
I went out with a guy I knew like 10 years ago ( friend of a friends husband) and it didn’t work. He still wanted that family and didn’t want someone with kids. Tried again 2 years ago, and I think we both got so jaded that both of us wanted the other to make the real effort. But we had been burned too many times. He texted me the other day with a picture of the restaurant he took me on our first date of the second try. He’s almost 50 and it never worked out for him. We are both perpetually single. He owns a house, takes himself on nice vacations. Stable fruitful job. I dunno. Maybe we should just give in and marry eachother.
Yes I have a lot of first dates and not many second. Sure, it makes me sad.
The manager job has been posted. She wants to start interviews this week. I’m going to apply tonight . I’m scared for so many reasons. But I have to try.
I applied yesterday and I had my interview today . I think my interview went well. She did stress a few things. 1) she knows I have solid relationships with my coworkers in and out of work and that those will change. 2) it’s a 24/7 job where there are a lot of phone calls and stuff to be done outside working hours.
Both I though long and hard about. Yes. My relationships will change. That’s probably the toughest for me. I hope to take the good relationships I have with my coworkers professionally to implement change and have them trust me. I will very much It’s doing the events we do with our marketing partners. I have to stand back from those. Not easy.
The plus is, I’m mostly friendly with the social workers and I won’t be their managers so that will stay pretty solid. The case manager friendships I have outside of work are solid.
Not being on a nursing unit will be hard for me. I love my unit. I love the interaction. But I did say I want to make the position more hands on and have a stronger presence on the units rather than just in the office
She said she had one other interview. She wants to make a decision soon so training can start while the other manager is still here. I think I’ll know by next week.
I’m scared. Not of not getting it, because I am cool in my present position. But if I get it. The changes that will come.
I am only going to take it if the money is right and I won’t have to struggle without a second position.
D is coming home tomorrow morning. Can’t wait to see her I am working Easter because I volunteered because I don’t celebrate. Atleast I have tomorrow night and Saturday with the kiddo.
Change is a little uncomfortable. But like I said to my boss/ interviewer. I adapt very easily to change because nothing in my personal or professional life has ever been easily predictable. Pretty nothing in my life I ever imagine working in a certain way has.
What will be will be.‘I’m going to trust the universe
I’m scared. Not of not getting it, because I am cool in my present position. But if I get it. The changes that will come.
Oh how I know EXACTLY how that feels. My thoughts and prayers are with you, my friend. I have very recently been in the same boat you are in at the moment (although the root causes were different), so I empathize. I'm sure you did well and would be a great asset to the position. My fingers are crossed for you.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
D- thank you for the thoughts and prayers. I know you are going to embrace your new job and position and give it your all. Change can be scary, questioning whether it is the right move or not, but it’s something to embrace
I had a pretty weird day and not in a good way. First I woke up with vertigo. It’s happened to me once before. It’s awful. Eventually it went away by like 2pm. Then. I walk into work. heroin guy’s mom and dad work at my hospital. As I’m walking in I see his dad. Super friendly guy, he doesn’t know who I am yet in relation to his son yet. His dad is joking around with me saying let’s ditch this place, the weather is too nice. He then asks my name and I tell him. He realized who I was. And brings me in for a hug! He goes on and says he hopes me and his son hang out soon and that he’s a great guy and blah blah blah. This is really hard. I work Im a hospital where everyone knows everyone. I will never sh!t where I eat again. This really stinks all around. I have to figure this out.
Then. One of my coworkers found out who the other interview was. And I was crushed. I didn’t expect it to be that person. She works in our department but isn’t a case manager . She doesn’t know the job like o do, but she would make a great manager. My competition is really stiff. I honestly think she is going to beat me out. While I had coworkers who personally asked me to apply because they think I would be great, I also found out 2 coworkers don’t want me to lose my position because they hate doing weekends and they know I will do them.
And just then when I realized I likely won’t get it, I realized I really want it. Not only for the new opportunity which I’m excited about, but I can’t lie. Not working a million days a week and making enough money in one job was something that I need in my life. I can’t sustain this anymore.
I was feeling really hopeful a positive change was coming. I needed something. I could almost taste it. And now, I feel so sad. Definitely down in the dumps today and I ate a lot of carbs, which I never do anymore. But they made me feel a little better, lol
Listen, I get it. More than you can even imagine. Don't doubt yourself. If you went in there and feel good about how you did, hang on to that. Do NOT compare yourself to the other person because you only know what you know outside of the interview. Maybe she did great too, but maybe she didn't. You have a lot of positive qualities and if this is meant to be your job, it will be regardless of who else interviewed. Cut yourself a little slack and just take solace in the fact that you did the best you could and it is no in the hands of the decision maker.
As far as the coworkers who don't want you to leave your current position because you are willing to cover shifts they don't want to, well, that's bull. That's a p!ss poor reason to root against someone and it sounds like they are selfish.
Hang in there, G. Good stuff is totally coming your way....just may not be in the form you envisioned.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
What Dawn said…100%. Don’t count yourself out yet. Even if you don’t get it, now you know that as much as you like your job, you want to find a better-paying position with more responsibilities. This won’t be the only job that comes up. Years ago, I panelled for a job that I wasn’t 100% sure I wanted. I didn’t get it but what I did get was the experience of the interview and a better idea of how to prepare for the next one. A few months later, another position came up that I really wanted and I got it. I think it was because I had already been through a similar interview prior and was better prepared. Sometimes we don’t get what we want because there is something better coming along. Keep the faith G!!! Good things are coming your way!!!
