Her death made me especially glad that CMM was able to die peacefully at home in his own bed. Her death was tortured, in the hospital. CMM had chosen to take advantage of the Medical Aid in Dying act that we have in our state. Any doubts I might have had about him taking that course have been firmly erased by seeing what she went through in the last weeks of her life. Everybody’s choice is theirs, but I have peace that he made the right choice for him. And I’m grateful that we live in a state where that was available to him.
Most people in our state don’t even know we have that option available. And I found out after the fact that his oncologist would never have been able to discuss that option with him, because they are affiliated with a Catholic hospital and are forbidden from discussing it.
I was raised Catholic, and I understand the mindset. I’m not sure what I would choose for myself. But when someone is days or weeks away from an inevitable death, what value is there in enduring more torture? I’m grateful that I was able to be fully present with CMM at his death. He didn’t die in the middle of the night, unable to wake me up. He didn’t die while I was out grocery shopping. He was not alone when he died, I held one hand, my son held the other.
Death is something that we as a society do not deal with well. I know a lot of my attitudes towards it have been formed both by my upbringing and also by the writing of Terry Pratchett.
I've known from when I was a boy where I will be buried. The kids and I would often go out and "visit the relatives" - something I still do on my own. I purchased my own plot about a year or so ago and my wishes are clearly expressed to the kids. Something I encourage everyone to do. My xW was phobic about it though refusing to even have our wills done up, something that especially when we had young kids was in hindsight, pretty irresponsible.
Sir Terry wrote one bit "I wish to die like a wizzard. Reluctantly." But a lot of his writings both fiction and non accept death as an inevitable part of the journey of life. He wasn't a believer in an after-life and neither am I. But I can certainly understand the idea that at some point that I will find life a burden that I will want to lay down in a time and manner of my own choosing.
So sorry that your friend had so many struggles at the end. I think it really depends on the practitioner they are dealing with. You would know better than me, but I would imagine that some look to preserving life at any cost whereas others look to the patient's comfort and dignity. I remember when my grandmother passed that the staff just worked on keeping her comfortable and she left us in a medicated sleep with her daughter at her side (my Dad had passed some years earlier).
((kml))
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I think because she was a physician herself, she was able to talk them into some treatments that were perhaps in retrospect ill-advised. They did finally decline to give her any more chemo.
So sorry to read about your former classmate. I wish our state gave us a choice as to how we would like to die...but we aren't so lucky as your state.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Sorry to hear this KML. My condolences. Having watched both my parents suffer needlessly a the end of their lives, my dad in particular, I, too, believe in having the choice. (((HUGS)))
The series follows the lives of siblings Kevin, Kate, and Randall (known as the "Big Three"), and their parents Jack and Rebecca Pearson. It takes place mainly in the present and uses flashbacks to show the family's past. Kevin and Kate are the two surviving members from a triplet pregnancy, born six weeks premature on Jack's 36th birthday in 1980;
I'm watching "Stranger Things", and I re-listened through Hamilton on my road trip!
I love, love, LOVE “This is Us”. I haven’t watched last night’s episode yet but I’d be shocked if I were wrong if I guessed whose divorce was involved. This show is just SO well written. It is my weekly ugly cry because, man…..I know they are tv characters but they are just so believable. (A testament to the writers and actors alike.) I hate is ending but also glad that they aren’t dragging it out longer than they should.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
But a lot of his writings both fiction and non accept death as an inevitable part of the journey of life. He wasn't a believer in an after-life and neither am I. But I can certainly understand the idea that at some point that I will find life a burden that I will want to lay down in a time and manner of my own choosing.