Andrew I apologize if I offended you. I was trying to make the point that if you are not on the top 10% of men like NONE or us are then it’s a waste of time.
Online meeting (not dating!) is the second highest way people meet their mates today and I would argue it is probably number one for those above 35 or 40. So whatever you think of it, it's a necessary evil for most if they want to meet single people. It has pitfalls but so does meeting people in a bar. And past a certain age, any party you are invited to will be mostly couples. I think the key is to just try to get better at screening people and at writing a profile that attracts the kind of people you want.
Heard from my friend 20S today asking about alimony payments.
Turns out that she's landed the latest boyfriend whose wife left him in January. I think the last one left her for an OW about 6 months ago, maybe a bit less.
Sigh.
New boyfriend is in need of "stuff" as his wife cleaned out the house. Things are rather acrimonious. Fortunately 20S has "stuff" here that she's going to come pick up and hopefully get the last of it.
I feel sorry for the girl. She wants someone so bad and sadly that's the sort she's normally landed. She says this one has a seal of approval from both her friends and family which hasn't usually been the case.
She's a nice kid with a lot to offer. Very like "S" in many ways though in that she tends to charge in and take over. As a pretty and extra curvy kind of gal she usually isn't wanting for attention. She and my son used to be best friends but he's cut her out of his life quite some time ago. He described her as "a good friend when she needs you".
Ah well - the space under my back stairwell may be cleared out finally. There's not a lot left compared to what used to be here. She took a lot with the prior boyfriend last summer.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I was trying to make the point that if you are not on the top 10% of men like NONE or us are then it’s a waste of time.
Wait, wait, wait…wait just one minute here. “It’s a waste of time” meaning the “it’s” you’re referring to is on line dating? Is that what I hear you saying? Before I celebrate, do some sorta victory dance, or congratulate you on coming over to the bright side, or anything I better confirm it with you first. If true, this is a huge transformation and congratulations will be in order.
But what’s this riding off into the sunset stuff? If you leave there goes 10 to 20% of the posts in this forum. So no we can’t approve your release. You’ll have to stay here for awhile yet.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Happy belated birthday. (Sorry, I don’t pop into this side too often.)
I’m intrigued by your ring. Custom designed; one of a kind; very cool and personalized.
Originally Posted by AndrewP
Even if I dig, I have a hard time remembering what being in love felt like.
Yep. Feelings are fleeting.
No one can remember a feeling. One cannot bring forth a pain, or pleasure, or anything else for that matter. For example, I can recall falling from my bike, skinning my knee, being hurt, crying, yet I cannot bring forth the feeling of that pain. We do not control our feelings, therefore one cannot “remmeber how they feel”. Which is actually, just trying to reliving them. One can recall the events and life of past love, yet those specific feelings will elude us.
However, emotions can be influenced and encouraged; either to flourish or extinguish. The focus on self is to lessen the reinforcement of our out of control emotions, and gain detachment. Later, in the journey, we look to our beliefs and values, those deeply held convictions, from those, our emotions can be encouraged.
Not wanting to sound like a pop song, but… Do you believe in love?
Love and hope. Possibilities. Such a wellspring. That encourages plenty of emotion.
Your posts as of late, have had a sense about them. As have you, as you have reported a few times. A weird loneliness and a missing of something. My friend, seek it from within. Personally, I believe “its” not missing within you, just covered up a bit. A little self digging and dusting will find (and feel) what you’re looking for.
Have a great day.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
No one came remember a feeling? That’s certainly not true for me. I absolutely can. I can go back in time to a vivid memory and my mind and body can feel the feeling I felt in that moment again. Times of joy, elation, hurt, and fear. Those feelings absolutely come flooding back in. And they are the feelings I felt then. Maybe not as intense, but definitely the same.
You often say “feelings are fleeting” all feelings come and go because we feel so many different feelings. Happiness is fleeting as well. The good feelings come and go and come again. The bad feelings come and go again. You never mention that feelings are fleeting when they are positive feelings.
Andrew can look “within” for the loneliness . But it is actually “within” for humans to connect in an emotionally intimate way with someone else. That’s what people do. We actually cannot fulfill every need from within. Sometimes this board can be so anti-other people and get everything you need from yourselves, but we are humans. And humans are created biologically to connect in an emotionally intimate way with others . It’s not a bad thing . It’s a real thing
No one came remember a feeling? That’s certainly not true for me. I absolutely can. I can go back in time to a vivid memory and my mind and body can feel the feeling I felt in that moment again. Times of joy, elation, hurt, and fear. Those feelings absolutely come flooding back in. And they are the feelings I felt then. Maybe not as intense, but definitely the same.
I experience the same feeling. My point is it’s a new feeling. Our feelings and emotions are fleeting and transient, unless reinforced.
My elation and joy of my memories is a brand new feeling each and every time. It’s not me reliving some dusty faded feeling. I find that to be true, and rather up lifting. The realization that I’m alive inside.
I do apologize if I have given an impression that only negative feelings flit. No, I find all feelings flit, and we can choose to reinforce and encourage our positive ones. Our influence based upon that which we can control.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
