I am so sorry you are going through this. The immense pain, the uncertainty and the turbulence of the hellish rollercoaster of the process is one the forum knows well and its painful knowing you are living it. I'm not the best to give advice of the process, so I won't at the moment. I broke rules left and right. I am here to say I feel you, brother; and if you want to come out of this intact and better than you started then the wise advice of the veterans here is your ticket.
You've heard this before - you will get through this. It's almost impossible to feel that right now or believe it but it is the truth and the reality. How well you get through this and how well you take care of Dink, is up to you. Vent here, drop your emotions here, to have more peace and clarity of thinking there.
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated
As far as I know the kids don’t really have any clue things are where they are currently, but the really didn’t last time either. We really didn’t discuss the Nashville much but she did got to a counselor after for a little bit. As far as Nashville I can only speculate . She now says she stayed with me after I finally told her about my affair that was back in like 2009 because she didn’t want to tear apart the family, but she was also in a emotional affair at the time and that she was always putting others happiness before her own. Maybe she felt trapped or she has other mental issues im just not aware. She has told me in the past that she was molested by a babysitter when she was young as well.
Also I believe she had daddy issues growing, and with the recent passing of her father I think that is affecting her now as well, because when she told me just recently she wanted a divorce she said we only have so much time to be happy. And yes that is true, but she is also actively in a emotional affair .
Also I believe she had daddy issues growing, and with the recent passing of her father I think that is affecting her now as well, because when she told me just recently she wanted a divorce she said we only have so much time to be happy. And yes that is true, but she is also actively in a emotional affair .
Uuuummm based on what happened the other night I would say it is more than an emotional affair.
Wow--just caught up! I see you've had some setbacks--she's having a physical affair (I'm sorry--that must be incredibly painful), in your anger you tried to control her and tell her what she "needs" to do (I know what I do when someone tries to make me do something), and now you (not a mental health professional) are focused on diagnosing her -isms.
Ready to dust yourself off and focus back on the GAL/Self-Improvement track to boost your chances both of moving on successfully solo, with someone else, or getting another shot with this lady if you want it?
We all have rough days, weeks, years. You've got this.
So I texted her and said we need to tell the kids this weekend we are getting divorced and she said we can meet tomorrow to discuss how we want to do it. I then said, this would of been much easier Telling the if last weekend didn’t happen, to which she replied I know how you feel, I felt that way most of our marriage…. So this conversation when we meet tomorrow should be fun yes I know the hurt I caused in the past but the last five years were pretty good. She told me she wanted a divorce And I said ok, not knowing really about other man and as I wrote prior I lost it when I found her at Other man’s house. Her tone had no resemblance of any regret, or compassion what she did, just now I know how she felt. It’s just sad . I at least have shown compassion and apologized foe my hurt from way back. She is definitely a wayward spouse. Bitter to the end even though this was her Who did it
So I texted her and said we need to tell the kids this weekend we are getting divorced and she said we can meet tomorrow to discuss how we want to do it. I then said, this would of been much easier Telling the if last weekend didn’t happen, to which she replied I know how you feel, I felt that way most of our marriage…. So this conversation when we meet tomorrow should be fun yes I know the hurt I caused in the past but the last five years were pretty good. She told me she wanted a divorce And I said ok, not knowing really about other man and as I wrote prior I lost it when I found her at Other man’s house. Her tone had no resemblance of any regret, or compassion what she did, just now I know how she felt. It’s just sad . I at least have shown compassion and apologized foe my hurt from way back. She is definitely a wayward spouse. Bitter to the end even though this was her Who did it
When you talk to the kids, keep your personal emotions and bias out of the picture. Resist the temptation to blame your WW or show her in a negative light. Focus on what is right for the kids and be in the right frame of mind.
I totally agree with what you have said and i definitely will put all the recent hurt behind for now when telling the kids. They are my main priority going forward. As I have learned I can only control myself and my emotions. This will,be the second time in 3 years we will be telling them this news. Not that it changes anything but i have this pit in my stomach that she is going to hugely regret this When she has cleared from her fog…maybe im wrong just a feeling. I’m much stronger this go around than I was last time.
