Morning Andrew - how's life going? Yes, you should set some higher standards for the women you date - just because we CAN love a variety of people doesn't mean we SHOULD. On the other hand, I do find myself more able to accept romantic partners for who they are, and don't have to have someone who ticks every box (not an easy thing to find at our ages anyway).
I still think you should consider the possibility of dating outside your immediate area. Perhaps a city woman who dreams of retiring to a charming small town like yours in the future? Long distance dating isn't that hard if you're within an hour or two drive of each other, and might keep you from moving someone in too quickly.
I'm going to give myself a year to focus on me, my kids and my friends before I consider dating again. I know I've said I'm not sure if I'll date again - and I'm not sure - but having coffee with my friend SG at the golf course the other day, I did find myself noticing some fine looking golfers who didn't look like old Republican white guys! So maybe I will be open to the idea in the future, once a year is up. We'll see.
Things are generally pretty good - a bit bland on the home front although work is certainly keeping the little grey cells more than occupied (and watching Poirot)
I tried that new bread recipe that was suggested to me and it turned out very well. I learned a new trick too of putting my batter in a warm sink to encourage it to rise - something that is an issue with my house as cold as it is. In "old numbers" my kitchen rarely gets up over 70F in the winter which is too cold for this. I would never have thought of that but now have a new trick in my arsenal.
I also went to my jeweler on the weekend and they are finding me a new signet ring. I'm supposed to hear back from them early this week on what they can do. I wasn't surprised that a small town jeweler didn't have the exact thing in stock but I've dealt with them for years and they have done a few custom things that have been fabulous. And surprisingly custom isn't necessarily a lot more money than something they have on the shelf.
Had a difficult conversation with my son yesterday. It seems that his older cat is not at all accepting the younger one he adopted so after talking it over with me he decided to return the younger cat to the shelter. A difficult but mature decision. I did suggest that I could adopt her. He didn't want to take that step because he wants to give this cat a fresh start and in my house there could be similar issues with my older cat too who has never had to deal with another pet in the house.
I'm proud of him for being thoughtful about a very difficult decision and doing what is best for his older cat. I'm also rather flattered that he wanted to talk to me about it first and go over the options even if at the end it was his own decision. This is a couple of times that this has happened - perhaps a sign that our relationship has changed.
Originally Posted by kml
just because we CAN love a variety of people doesn't mean we SHOULD.
This I think is a major shift in my thinking in recent years. Finding out from bad experience that there are potential partners out there who cause more harm than good was a game-changer for me. Some people, if there are rude, outwardly arrogant, overly needy were I thought fairly easy to spot and avoid. I'd not dealt with what almost felt like a bait and switch before. What I felt was S's expectation that I would take care of her and her extended family financially and materially wasn't something that I was able to accept. I had fooled myself into believing what she presented as a capable person who had been sabotaged by circumstances and then got in too deep before the scales fell from my eyes.
Also in my first round of dating I wanted to find somebody who I could share my life with in a marital type relationship and had put pressure on myself to "do the work" of finding someone. Being as far out as I am now from my marriage I can see even better that there are lots of other ways to live my life than one that "needs" to have a partner.
Originally Posted by kml
On the other hand, I do find myself more able to accept romantic partners for who they are, and don't have to have someone who ticks every box (not an easy thing to find at our ages anyway).
You said it. I strongly doubt that I'd tick all of anyone's boxes either
Originally Posted by kml
I still think you should consider the possibility of dating outside your immediate area. Perhaps a city woman who dreams of retiring to a charming small town like yours in the future? Long distance dating isn't that hard if you're within an hour or two drive of each other, and might keep you from moving someone in too quickly.
Actually I just heard from "C" this morning and we're getting together for drinks next week. It will be nice to catch up - we've not seen each other since the summer. She lives a bit over an hour away from where I do but about 20 minutes from the plant.
Originally Posted by kml
I did find myself noticing some fine looking golfers who didn't look like old Republican white guys! So maybe I will be open to the idea in the future, once a year is up. We'll see.
Golf in my mind is over-rated. I think it was Samuel Clemmens who referred to it as "A good walk ruined". I'll play occasionally for charity or similar events and will do decently enough although I think that members of the foursome I was with thought me odd when I started laughing hilariously when I managed to hit the flag from the fairway. The ball dropped several more feet away and I think took 2 or 3 puts to put it in, but that was a pretty astounding shot I still think.
Bad joke time
Originally Posted by bad jokes
Four married guys go golfing on Sunday. During the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued:
First Guy: "Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."
Second Guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool."
Third Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."
They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they ask him. "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?"
Fourth Guy: "That's easy! I just set my alarm for 5:30am. When it goes off, I shut off my alarm, give the wife a poke. 'Golf Course or Intercourse?', I ask. She says, 'Wear your sweater.'"
Happy Fat Tuesday to all out there. I still have a couple of paczki left and will be making pancakes with garlic farmer's sausage for dinner. Local maple syrup on top.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
CMM was starting to teach me to swing a golf club, then we got rear-ended in that accident which messed up my SI joint. I haven't tried it again but suspect that it would just trigger more pain in that joint, as it's pretty crucial for a golf swing. And golfing is so expensive I don' think I could ever see myself willing to spend that kind of money on it. I can see the fun in it though.
Some people, if there are rude, outwardly arrogant, overly needy were I thought fairly easy to spot and avoid.
They are easy to spot. The problem is when you are looking out for them you can't have blinders on. A person can maybe hide who they are for 90 days max. The problem is Andrew you are usually shacking up and engaged by that point. If you do not want to date because of your past experiences that is cool and we completely understand but there are ways to weed the bad seeds out in time.
Really liking the "ignore user" button on here. Makes for a much more pleasant experience.
Had an interesting conversation with a co-worker yesterday. He was very worried because he was in his bank and they told him that his pension investments had lost a lot of money recently and he wanted my opinion on what to do. I'm sure a lot of people are having those sort of questions recently.
I suggested to him that his best course of action would be to find a financial adviser that he could trust and ask them. My only input on his money-losing investments was to not cash them out at this time but to wait to see if they go back up. He said that his primary concern was in making sure that he doesn't lose any of his money which in his late 60s isn't something to easily recover from. I told him that yes, there were investments where he could have his money guaranteed but that he wouldn't make as much off of them - which seems to be where he wants to go.
He said that his mother had an adviser that she really liked and trusted and that another of his relatives also uses them and he's going to go talk to them.
It's a bit of a weird dynamic here because in some ways I'm sort of kind of in charge of a number of things but actually not. And the people who are asking me for advice generally know far more about the topic than I do - they're just looking for someone to make a decision. Recently I was asked about filling a container that had a particular style of gasket and valve that wasn't really suited for the product. I had vague memories of this being an issue, asked a few questions and got the answer that there was another, better container available and that the operator thought we should use it. "Good choice - let's do that" - decision made
I recall a few years ago having hired in 2 experts in related roles for a project and they also needed a decision made. I stood there and listened to them discuss it back and forth, waited until they seemed to have reached a consensus and said "We'll do that then".
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
