Although I have never watched them, I’ve been told you can take a break from a soap opera for a year or more and pick right back up where you left off. It feels like I just did the same here. I’m terrible with remembering screen names and who did what and all, but then it came to me, oh yeah, i remember now. I even double checked the posting dates to make sure I didn’t somehow stumble back on old posts. Nothing has changed. How sad. Glad you are back posting though. Means there still is some hope.
And --- you have free will. Don't watch. Change the channel.
I don't need your judgement and I didn't ask for it.
I'm still allowed disappointments. It doesn't mean I'm broken as a person.
KK I didn't say you shouldn't be disappointed. I questioned a broken heart. Last year I dated a girl for about 3.5 months where things were going really well. We were exclusive seeing each other when we could. One day I get a text that she heard from her ex boyfriend and needed time to think things through. I gracefully bowed out. Was I disappointed? Yes. Was I heart broken? No. My heart wasn't hers to break we were just getting to know each other. I never contacted her again and accepted her decision. This is what all of this pain teaches us.
Originally Posted by KitCat
I'm ducking amazing. I'm wicked smart. I have a successful career making bank. I'm financially secure. I have no debt but what is still minimally owed on my house which the $200k in equity is all mine as well.
If you truly believe this then why are you settling for two idiots?
Originally Posted by KitCat
If there was something better than me he surely would have found it in the last year or in the 8yr prior to meeting me.
KK I don't think you understand what this guy is all about. It is not you personally. He is a player.
KitCat, if you switch channels again, please let us know where to find you. There are one or two handfuls of stories I return to hear updates on, and yours is one of them.
Battlestar Galactica! Well, whether you're a fan of the Classic or Reimagined--huge fan of Edward James Olmos here--I think the difference was Adama and crew expected the frack to end and a good outcome when they reached Earth. So say we all. This forum feels more like The Walking Dead where we watch people get off'd one by one. Whether it's due to lack of new content, the vibe, or search engine optimization.. in the end WHY IT'S DYING matters less than IT IS DYING when the owner's not committed to trying. Please note, I'm full of appreciation for our mod team.
As for the "calm"--I so get it. My father endangered my life. My XW was a physical danger. My XGF was verbally abusive. Ms. Sunshine would say ILU one date and not kiss me the next.
My current partner K has NOT said ILU and last night was the first time we just chatted about our days on the phone. But, each time I see her she kisses me, she's kind, and she's curious about my day. WHAT?! We have to remind ourselves that we didn't strike the lottery--this is normal behavior. Most people are not crazy drivers. I've done many road trips. I can't recall any road ragers. I recall only one person I felt uncomfortable because she tailgated everyone at 80-90mph. She had quick reflexes, BUT we're both smart and know there are limits to human reflexes, and limits to break systems (his Fiesta or her Lexus), and how much stopping distance even the most attuned of drivers need. Most people out there are normal drivers and don't road rage. Most people out there when they like someone will kiss them, be kind, and be curious about our days.
Rambling a bit. I hope you get your needs met via friends or supportive people on the Internet. I hope, the next time you think about being partnered up, you cast your net for someone new. Showing ANY fury or anger within a few dates is unusual and a red flag. Most will wait 4-6 dates for sex if intimacy is increasing and they're enjoying your company. We've both missed red flags. Taking things a little slower for potential LTRs is a good remedy. THEN, you are clearly a creative lover, enjoy the sex!
I'm still allowed disappointments. It doesn't mean I'm broken as a person.
KK I didn't say you shouldn't be disappointed. I questioned a broken heart. Last year I dated a girl for about 3.5 months where things were going really well. We were exclusive seeing each other when we could. One day I get a text that she heard from her ex boyfriend and needed time to think things through. I gracefully bowed out. Was I disappointed? Yes. Was I heart broken? No. My heart wasn't hers to break we were just getting to know each other. I never contacted her again and accepted her decision. This is what all of this pain teaches us.
For the all the love that is holy please do not think I'm like this with everyone I date...
I've had many dates over the last year.
I had a couple of dates with a guy. He was wanting something more serious committed than where I was out with him. I didn't know him that well but I didn't want to hold him back from what he was looking for. I bowed out and wished him well. He came back all apologetic that he was chasing the wrong thing. We went out again but I was a point where I just said I'm focusing on tidying up my D. We were in the last 90 days after a year and 1/2 of limbo. I was focusing more on friendship and having fun... taking the time to get to know someone before being committed. Again, he was wanting a bigger commitment and said so... I let him go again.
I've been on dates and there will be light texting after the date but I really leave it up to the guy to pursue asking me out again. Sometimes they just don't for whatever reason and I let them go.
I don't bat an eye, shed a tear or give a flying F.
I don't want you thinking I'm hung up on every guy I date. Soooo, far from the truth.
I think I made the mistake when pilot came back around that we were just dipping our toes back in the water to see if there was something still there... but he literally seemed to act like we were just picking back up where we left things 11mo ago.
Its just a trainwreck and not one worth revisiting any longer.
You say you are amazing , wicked smart, financial secure, etc. Any guy would be lucky to have you, right ?
So why are you sleeping with your abusive ex husband who cheated on you and left you? And heartbroken by some guy you went on a few dates with who only wants sex. And yes, he only wants sex. Can you see the disconnect here ?
I don't want you thinking I'm hung up on every guy I date. Soooo, far from the truth.
No just a Don Juan pilot using you for sex and an abusive ex husband.
So you would give the pilot commitment and not the other guy?
Timing....
I had history with pilot.
I had very little history with this other guy... and had trouble making a true connection. But, when he popped back into my life I had made the commitment to wrap up my D. I was honest with him. I wanted to look into building a friendship first. Hang out, get to know each other... I was open to that. He decided he was not.
I'm not going to apologize for falling for a guy. He's not that in to me... I get it. I've not been bothering him/texting him/just getting my crap together.
Hey KC, I'm not gonna comment one way or the other.. as you will learn whatever you need to when you need to.
I am gonna say though that I notice a pattern of how you respond to us when we ask you certain questions. You are very defensive. Full of reasons to explain why what you do. If I remember correctly - I believe you took a break from the board because you felt like you are being judged
It does seem to look the questions trigger you a bit. In your time away from us - have you looked at why that is? Why you feel such judgement when we ask you hard questions?
Might be a 180 for you to answer in a different way.
Last edited by Valeska19; 03/01/2206:30 PM.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
I was honest with him. I wanted to look into building a friendship first. Hang out, get to know each other... I was open to that. He decided he was not.
Because that is what players do. Cut ties when it becomes more than sex.
Originally Posted by KitCat
I'm not going to apologize for falling for a guy.
You don't have to apologize to anyone.
Originally Posted by KitCat
He's not that in to me... I get it.
Uuuuuummmm I am not sure you do.
Originally Posted by KitCat
I've not been bothering him/texting him/just getting my crap together.
