I am speaking strictly about myself and my situation. seems that there are a million opinions about how I should handle my relationship with my son, but the only one that matters is mine. An aunt told me at my baby shower that of all the women in this world God chose me to be this baby's mother, because I was the best person for the job. I took that to heart and it's sustained me through some pretty dark times.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Parenting is always a very touchy subject. When I was OG on these boards under a different name I was parenting a very difficult kid as a new mom with no support. And trust me, EVERYONE had an opinion. I would be really upset sometimes and feelin like a failure as a mother.
And to be honest with you, in retrospect, it actually was like my village here helping a scared new mom trying to figure out the mom thing going through a divorce with no mom or husband herself. When the heat wore off from some of the opinions, I really saw what was said and I was so grateful for it.
Actually when my ex and was marrying his wife, I told him he was not taking our daughter to the wedding. I was so distraught and disgusted. If it wasn’t for the opinions of friends from these boards and the strong urging, my daughter may have not gone . And she would be asking me now why. And I would have regretted that so so so much.
Honestly, while I truly think I was chosen to be my daughters parent, I have always valued the opinions of others who have different perspective. People have helped me see things the way I couldn’t see them on the inside. Maybe about how I some of my everyday tendencies into my child that I should not.
I’m sorry you are leaving as well. And I will reiterate over and over again, I fully believe every parent should be there for their kid and never let them drown. I never in anyway suggested that is right thing to do.
And I am thankful to my armchair QB’s over the years on this board quite honestly. She got to meet a good deal of folks from these boards who helped me along the way. And they all love her. They always felt like a part of the family and vice versa. I will forever be thankful for the help in a trying situation I wasn’t prepared for.
Hi, I would like to hear peoples experiences using Michele's 2 day private retreats. How do I finds posts on this? I am new to this site and have no idea how to use it. Guidance would be great. Thx.
Hi, I would like to hear peoples experiences using Michele's 2 day private retreats. How do I finds posts on this? I am new to this site and have no idea how to use it. Guidance would be great. Thx.
Hi Bema, welcome! First, I would create your own thread, ideally in the Newcomers section. Repeat your request and tell us a bit about yourself. This will get more replies than “hijacking” / using Andrew’s thread. Not that we’re offended, of course! You’re new here.
A few members have gone to those, of course. I’ll search for your thread later today and point you to those experiences, and probably you’ll get other replies sooner.
I can only speak for myself, but it's very important that my son knows, beyond doubt, that he has at least one parent who will not abandon him.
Amen, bttrfly. Amen.
I won’t apologize for helping my children, especially when my ex is so unhelpful. (My ex- FIL loaned us the down payment for our first house - I don’t expect my ex to help with any thing like that when the time comes, once he couldn’t even cough up a lousy $200 a month for a year to help out middle with his health insurance).
If I’d been willing to walk away from the kids like my ex, I could have bought a smaller home, would be at least a couple hundred thousand dollars richer and could be retired already. But my kids would be in horrible places, all of them. If me continuing to work and living frugally is what it takes to help my children not end up mired in poverty or debt then that’s what I will do - and I’m happy to do so. And in many cultures this would not be unusual, members of a family pulling together to help each other.
I won’t apologize for helping my children, especially when my ex is so unhelpful.
So nobody asked you to apologize for helping your kids.
Originally Posted by kml
If I’d been willing to walk away from the kids like my ex, I could have bought a smaller home, would be at least a couple hundred thousand dollars richer and could be retired already.
K we know your ex is a narcissist and a bad father.
Originally Posted by kml
But my kids would be in horrible places, all of them.
Really? Like homeless?
Originally Posted by kml
If me continuing to work and living frugally is what it takes to help my children not end up mired in poverty or debt then that’s what I will do - and I’m happy to do so.
So are there boundaries? Or is bank of KML open 24/7 for any amount for any reason?
It boggles my mind how saying one little thing gets so blown out of proportion here.
