I told him that I wasn’t going to exchange multiple emails and text indefinitely to try to build a relationship that way as experience has taught me that it isn’t wise to emotionally invest in someone until you meet them as it can get super awkward if there is no chemistry. So….haven’t heard from him since I wrote that. If I do hear from him, great, if not, then he definitely isn’t my person.
I'm 100% with you on that and have done the same. It's a time efficiency thing. I do question if incompatible online dating styles is the same as incompatible values. The "Let's talk for a year before meeting" seems common to people inexperienced with online dating. I have a friend 3 years divorced planning for her first date in twenty years. She talked to the guy for three weeks before agreeing to meet?! I suspect a half-dozen dates in she'll be playing our tune.
Also - anybody who doesn't want to meet in person after a few convos is a possibility to be a catfish situation or someone married or not really available to date for any of a variety of reasons. This screens them out early.
Thanks CW & KML. As i suspected, the guy who was emailing me has stopped. I’m totally okay with it. TBH…he was just a bit too serious and formal for me. I need someone who would fit in with my pool friends as well as my work friends. He also seemed a bit too traditional in his views. I am chalking it up to “bullet dodged”.
Mini Update: First competition of the tournament, Scotch Doubles, is done. My partner and I won it last year but this year it wasn’t meant to be. We won two and lost two with a score of 4-3 in both of them.However, everyone who finishes out of the money gets automatically entered into a Second Chance single elimination, winner-takes-all tournament and he and I won that one. So not a complete wash.
Yesterday we went to my teammate’s place for a team practice because the women’s competition doesn’t start until today (Friday). I have a really tough draw. Playing a friend first who is pretty good. I’ve played her in this tournament in the past and am 3 for 3. Hopefully I can make it 4 today but very possible she will beat me. I haven’t really played in a year and she and her husband play all the time so she’s probably more tournament ready than me. Whichever one of us wins has to play another friend of mine who is a four-time Canadian Snooker champion. Needless to say, she is really, really tough to play. I’ve only ever had to play her in a tournament once before and it definitely didn’t go my way. She never takes any chances and her focus is ridiculous. If she doesn’t have a shot, she will hook you every time so you often find yourself kicking at balls. Her pace of play is also really, really slow so that can get to you if you are a faster player. If I win my first match and somehow get past her, it is very likely I will run into my teammate who used to play professionally. Another super, super tough player. I have never played her in a tournament before but I know I would have to be playing my absolute best to have a chance. The only good part about my draw is that I am on opposite sides of the board from my sister so with any luck, we won’t have to play each other. First match is at 10:30 today. Wish me luck. I’ll definitely need it. Lol
Tiny update on the man front…. I exchanged a few texts with D at around the time he got off work. He was asking about my tournament so I told him he should come hang out with me and check it out. He didn’t reply so I assumed he had other things to do. About 30 minutes later, I get a text… “Where are you?” I started to reply when I heard my sister say, “You must be D.” I look over and he’s standing beside her. He had walked up to her and said that he knew the second she looked at him (as if she had no idea who he was), that it was her so he said “You must be the sister.” He hung out with me for a couple hours and watched one of my matches before he had to leave. After he left, he texted me on and off to find out how I was doing. Our last match (the final of the Second Chance) started pretty late so I didn’t bother texting him that we won because I figured he was probably asleep. The next morning I woke up to a text from him asking how I had done. So he has checked off two boxes on my list. “Must be okay with watching me play pool on occasion” and “my sister likes him”. She told me afterward that she got a really good vibe from him and she definitely approves. The last two guys I dated did not have that. She liked them as people but did not think they were a match for me. She thinks D could be a match.
Anyway, it was great to hang out with him again. My attraction level is increasing as I get to know him. Hopefully, it is the same for him and we continue to build on this friendship we have started. I keep thinking how excited out mutual friends would be if they knew this was happening. I will be seeing a lot of them at the end of the month. It would be fun to be able to tell them we are dating but don’t want to do that until I am actually sure about it. So we’ll see how the next couple weeks unfold.
It’s been almost two weeks since my last update. I’m pretty excited the land border has opened and Canada is no longer requiring an expensive PCR test for people crossing and returning within 72 hours. This means my sister and I can go on one of our shopping/gambling weekends. We’ve booked a couple nights in early December at our favour casinos resort. Hopefully all of the flooding and craziness will have settled by then. I also booked another trip. My kids are turning 14 next month and time is just flying by too fast. XH and I had always planned to take them to Disneyland and clearly that is no longer his plan. It’s still mine though so I decided I didn’t want to wait any longer. I am surprising them with a trip for a Christmas present. We leave on January 9th and return on the 15th. That gives us three days at Disney, one day at California Adventures and another day at Universal Studios. My sister and her husband are big Disney fans so they are going to come as well. We’re super excited and can’t wait!!! My daughter will be really excited. My son will likely be anxious but hopefully cautiously optimistic…lol. He is not going to be a world traveller unless he undergoes a major personality change. Perhaps Disney is just the place to change his mind. He has NO idea how fun it is going to be. The only place he has been is Great Wolf Lodge and he thought that place was cool. Disney will blow his mind.
Not much to report on the D front. I’ve texted with him almost every day. The one day I didn’t text him, he texted me first thing the next morning. Last Sunday, I had a walk planned with our mutual friend and about half an hour before, I mentioned to him that we were meeting and he could join us if he wanted. He asked where and texted me that he was on his way. We had a great visit and have continued to text daily since then but the weekend is almost upon us and he hasn’t made any mention of wanting to get together so I don’t know. TBH, I’m starting to get tired of all these guys that I meet who just seem kind of lazy when it comes to dating. I’ve never been one to think that the guy should do all the asking but I feel like it should be a at least a 50/50 thing. Even when I had suggested coffee and said definitively that we should get together “next week”, he didn’t mention it again until I reminded him that we had the same Monday off and that it would be a good day to meet. Had I not done that, I feel like we may not have even had that coffee. So my interest is starting to fade a bit. If he makes an effort to see me, than it could pick up a bit but at this point, I’m done going out of my way to try to make something happen. The ball’s in his court now and if he decides to drop it, c’est la vie.
Anyway…that’s about all that is new is DV6’s world. Hope everyone is safe and well. (((HUGS)))
Wow…can’t believe it’s been over a month since I posted anything on my thread. A short update is in order.
First and foremost… HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!! As we have had three to four feet of snow in the last week, I’ve been pretty much stuck at home. Got out on Wednesday to do a bit of grocery shopping but that’s about it. Just spending time at home with my kids and my sister and her hubby. We did some baking today and made a bunch of appies for dinner and had family movie night. It was a nice and relaxing evening.
My Disneyland surprise went over really well with my kids and both are pretty excited to go. We were supposed to leave a week from Sunday but have had to postpone it due to our government’s travel advisory against non-essential travel. Part of me wanted to go anyway but with this new variant and the crazy weather, it’s probably not a bad thing to plan the trip for later on in the year. My kids were fine with the postponement. If the travel advisory lifts and the borders remain open, we will probably be going at the end of February.
My sister and I did manage to get away for our weekend getaway to Washington. As we were gone for less than 72 hours and driving across the border, we didn’t have to take any CV19 tests. The PCR test for coming into Canada was reinstated shortly after we got back. At $250 a test, you can bet we won’t be going back anytime soon. Just not worth it for a short trip across the line.
Not much going on these days with me and dating. I haven’t seen D since we went for that walk. I continue to hear from him almost every day…random texts and pictures. I honestly think he likes me but it doesn’t seem like he is looking to date anyone. He just has a lot on his plate with his mom and his brother and his son who takes up a lot of his time for an 18 year-old. And he has some health issues going on that I think he is really worried about. I convinced him to go to the hospital because he isn’t sleeping much due to this pain in his back and side. He is supposed to be getting an MRI but with Covid still going on, it may be awhile before he actually gets to go. So he has a lot to sort out and I think if I were in his position, I wouldn’t be too eager to start anything with anyone either. I’m not too bothered by it. Always happy to have another friend and if that is all we are meant to be, that’s okay with me.
Still have an active profile on a couple of dating sites but I haven’t talked to anyone or even swiped right on anyone for at least a couple months now. With the state of the world these days, I just don’t have any energy for it right now. Maybe in the spring, I will give it another try but for now, I’m just happy spending time with my family and friends.
Time for me to get some sleep. Hope 2022 is a better year than 2021 for all of us. (((HUGS))) to all.
I just want to give you encouragement that finding the right partner takes some time. I was just talking to my buddy who find someone about a year ago after dating for 8 years and approximately 150 dates. I’m cranking up the apps today lol. Tomorrow is suppose to be the busiest day of the year.
Thanks LH. That’s a lot of dates. Yikes. My 54th birthday is looming and I guess I’m just trying to find my enthusiasm for the process again. I was reflecting last night on all of the men I have met in the past two years and can’t help but wonder if I’m being too picky. I look around at all of the happy couples I know and I probably would have swiped left on most of the guys…lol. I guess that’s a good thing. Don’t want to have a crush on any friends…lol.
Speaking of guys that I’ve met, had an out of the blue missed call from Jack on Christmas Day. He has butt dialed me numerous times but not for over a year now and not on Messenger. Anyway, he and I parted amicably and I have missed his friendship so I thought I would just send him a Merry Christmas message. He returned it and we had a nice chat. He’s back working and living in my area…about a six minute drive from me. He sounds like he is approaching a crossroads in his life. Really wanting a change in professions but not knowing exactly what he wants to do. Playing his guitar and writing music. Talked to him again on New Years Day and he was alone on NYE so I don’t think he is dating anyone. I’m not surprised. He really is an introvert by nature so I don’t see him going out of his way to meet anyone. Add Covid to that and he probably spends most of his off time alone. Anyway…it was nice to connect with him again.
Also been talking a lot with my XH (first one). He’s such a good guy and he seems to appreciate me more now than he did when we were together. He has finally found a job he loves that pays him decently. Also a guy who won’t go out of his way to meet anyone new. When we were younger, women would approach him all of the time (it was beyond annoying) but I’m assuming that doesn’t happen so much anymore. He works from home and doesn’t gig as much as he used to so I’m guessing there aren’t as many opportunities for him as there used to be.
Anyway…I’m sure I will get more motivated in the spring. Just needing to focus on other things these days.
So…after a month of halfheartedly reactivating my profile on Plenty of Fish, I finally decided to take a chance and meet someone. About a week ago, I received a message from a guy in my area that was in full sentences, indicated he had actually read my profile by commenting on something I said, and whose pictures looked decent (clean cut….not a unibomber lookalike). Anyway, I decided to investigate further and his profile indicated he is my age, gainfully employed (he later told me where he worked and that he is in management so I did some googling and found out he is the VP of a six-store grocery store chain), active but not over the top, a divorced father with two kids (one my kids’ age), taller than me by a few inches and there were no obvious red flags.
So I responded to a question he had asked me and we ended up having an email conversation over the next few days until he asked me if I would like to meet in person this week. He picked a restaurant that is close to where I live and not so close to where he lives (he’s in the next town over that is about a 15 minute drive away). I was a bit hesitant about committing to dinner at a nice restaurant but from our conversations I could tell we would probably have lots to talk about and at the very least walk away thinking we had made a new friend.
I arrived a couple minutes early at the restaurant and he was outside waiting for me. It was a bit awkward at first but the awkwardness faded pretty quickly. Turns out we have way more in common than I thought we would. We like a lot of the same music, listen to the same sports radio station, like the same hockey team and just sports in general, both have 14 year-old daughters who are into basketball, bot of us grew up on the Island, we have similar world views, like to travel, etc…. We ended up staying until they closed and at the end of the night, agreed our meeting “wasn’t terrible”. I gave him a hug goodbye and sent him a message thanking him when I got home. He replied when he got home and said he had a nice time as well and does this mean I would be up for a second date “yes or no”. To the point… I like that. I said yes and gave him my phone number. This morning he texted to say hi and that he hoped my day goes well. We chatted briefly and he asked if I would like to go for a walk on the weekend. So date number two is set and we’ll see how it goes. He definitely seems to check all of the boxes that I had on my list. I can’t say that I was wildly attracted to him but attracted enough that I definitely want to see him again. Like my sister loves to tell me, “we’re 53, not 23” and the days of falling for someone at “hello” are long past us. I think she is probably right and that my attraction to him will likely increase over time.
Haven’t heard from D for a few days. I haven’t seen him since the end of November when we went for a walk with our mutual friend. He texts me pretty regularly but has not once ever suggested we get together so I pretty much gave up on him. I decided that I am no longer going to put more than 50% of the effort in to go out with someone. All three time we got together were at my suggestion so I figure I’ve done my part and he is either not interested in me or he doesn’t have any room in his life right now for anyone other than his family members. I went for a walk with our mutual friend on the weekend and she thinks it is the latter. She said he is a great guy but that his life is a bit of a mess and that I should find someone who has room for me in their life and enough “game” to ask me out instead of wait for me to do it.
Last weekend was the weekend for exes. I received a call from TDH out of the blue. He wanted to rant about his ex a bit and also let me know that he was working. It was an entertaining conversation but left me thinking that I had absolutely made the right decision in breaking up with him. On Saturday I went over to Jack’s place and taught him how to make curry. It was great to see him after two years and we had fun hanging out. I ended up sticking around to watch a movie and then left immediately after it ended. I had the distinct impression he was hoping for more than just a cooking lesson and a buddy to hang out with. For a second I was tempted but the reality is that the reasons I broke up with him still exist and any kind of a “friends with benefits” situation would only end with one or both of us getting hurt and I care about him [and me] too much to go through that again.
In other news…we rescheduled our Disneyland trip for the end of February. We’re all really looking forward to getting away from it all and having some fun. I feel very blessed to be able to do this for my kids. Can’t wait.
Wow! What a well written, normal sounding update! if all or at least more OLD stories went like this I one did I’d consider trying it again. Lol. It was so well written and fun to follow along with, almost like a magazine or blog article. He seems normal, engaged, for real and legit. Certainly worth exploring. But then, after two years you met up with Jack again? From what I remember of him I’m pretty sure he was hoping for more. Almost sounds like you could do it, but he could not. But how did this come about? I’d stick with the grocery store manager. Can’t wait to hear the next installment/update.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
