I have been clearly saying why I have been frustrated. It’s a real Worry. I have been made to feel gross and uncomfortable more times than I care to. That’s what I have been saying all along.
This is why you haven’t met a woman who enjoys it yet. It is very common. And it’s not as simple as block and report. You take time out of your day , sometimes start some conversation that seems to be going somewhere for a guy to turn totally gross on you. It’s frustrating and worrisome because you never know when it’s going to happen. And it can very well happen when you actually meet the person. It has before. It is not enjoyable.
If I was just having some genuine convo, going out on dates and simply not feeling connections and just moving on, I would be fine. It’s not the case anymore.
Abs yeah. One day I might be back to it. It’s just not in the near future
I said I wouldn’t to dating. But worth mentioning:
I am a part of a FB hiking group for my state. It’s been great because I’m a novice and they have given me some great trails and tips that I have loved.
I commented on someone’s post and he sent me a DM. He’s a respiratory therapist for a hospital in my system. He chatted me up and said I had a nice smile and asked if I would like to get together sometime.
So I guess these groups can be a good way to meet people. Again, he could be a total creep, who knows. Kinda cool though. Totally wasn’t my intention in this group. I just want really explore and get comfortable with hiking
I've been following along and don't really have much to add other than I get where you are coming from. Men can be very demeaning in online dating situations. I've experienced it too and know exactly what you are talking about and how it makes you feel.
It reminded me of a story from my past that is actually not dating related but similar. I graduated from a male-dominated major and was looking for work in a male-dominated field when I came out of college. My fellow (male) classmates were used to having women in their classes as there were quite a few of us, but men out "in the wild" weren't as used to seeing women in that particular role. Sometimes, we women would talk about our challenges (not as a "woe is me" kind of thing, but just as a way to share our experiences and support each other) and the men would kind of blow us off and act incredulous and act like there was no way we were experiencing what we said we were. It all changed for me when me and one of the guys interviewed for the same position, so we rode to the interview together since our interviews were back to back nearly 3 hours away from our college. Didn't make sense to drive 2 cars that far when we were leaving from the same place and returning to the same place. Anyway, we get there and go in and when the interviewers realize that we actually rode together, they asked us if we minded if they gave us a tour together then interviewed us separately as intended. We said that was fine with us and so the tour began. As they are touring us around, the interviewer addressed me on several occasions with comments about how my being a woman would have NO bearing on their final decision. Tour wraps up, we both do our separate interviews, then load up to head back to college. As we are driving out of the parking lot, my buddy asks me if it is always like that. I didn't know what he meant, so I asked for clarification. He asked if I always got "singled out" (poor phrasing but I knew what he meant) for being a woman. I explained that yes, it usually got mentioned, but in some cases, like the one he just witnessed, it was more of a focal point, where in other cases it got mentioned once and then we moved on. He was blown away. He didn't realize that my being a woman would be discussed nearly as much as it was and then he understood what I (and the other women) were dealing with.
Your exchanges with LH reminded me of that long story (so sorry for the hijack, but there is a point............). You say men make you feel gross. LH doesn't see that side of it because he's not one of those dudes that behaves that way. I wish there were more men, like LH, who don't see it because they aren't that way, but sadly I think that is the minority in OLD. That is why women aren't enjoying it and I think maybe even likely why, as Don says, you seem the same old misfit toys out there. Quality women get discouraged by the skeezers and pervs and quality men get discouraged by the women who might actually entertain the skeezers and pervs. It is just sad really.
Anyway, G, whatever you decide to do, you are awesome and a h3ll of a catch and some day, some way, some amazing guy is going to find his way to you and he's going to be so lucky to have you.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Quality women get discouraged by the skeezers and pervs and quality men get discouraged by the women who might actually entertain the skeezers and pervs.
Nah that doesn't bother me. If I had to say say what bothers me about OLD I would say women's expectations are too high.
Originally Posted by Dawn70
It is just sad really.
It is sad that bad people ruin it for everyone else.
Originally Posted by Dawn70
Anyway, G, whatever you decide to do, you are awesome and a h3ll of a catch and some day, some way, some amazing guy is going to find his way to you and he's going to be so lucky to have you.
I believe this but the important part is she needs to believe it.
